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I've been single for so long and everyone keeps asking how is it that I've not "managed" to get a boyfriend yet... Grr, it's not about 'getting' anyone you can, it's about being with someone you really want to be with.
I had 2 different people ask me that in the space of about 3 days. The problem I have right now is that the person I fancy doesn't feel the same way. Also, I'm not really interested in having a relationship with anyone.
wouldnt you want a relationship with the person you fancy?
i'm still hoping the person i fancy will say yes.
Well yes, but for various reasons it won't ever happen.
because i want it so bad, i know its got to be good. i know my point of view doesnt mean much because youve probably had more relationships than me but, but it just seems like this wonderful magical experience that i so want to be a part of.
hmm...your probably setting yourself up to be
please note: im not trying to say that relationships cant be a wonderful and magical experience
probably, but im not gonna have an objective viewpoint am i? beside, i'd rather think its gonna happen in that way than not happen at all.
Yep, just the point i was making. I share this viewpoint also. Damned hard work if it aint someone you really want...
I used to think like this, and i don't wanna totally burst your bubble, cus who knows, you might strike lucky and get something really special, but chances are it'll be the same as it is for the rest of us. Obviously it's great to be with someone, but you'll find that almost from day one it takes alot of commitment, effort, compromise and almost all of your spare time. And tbh, i've also found that the more you expect it to be this magical, hollywood type thing, the further away it is from that, whereas if you don't expect alot, you might be surprised...
Indeed. Although for me, it's more because he lives far away from me (about 250 miles I think) and he's with someone.
youre right, but thats exactly what i want. i want the initial giddy rush, having a laugh, the arguements, the fighting. it just feels like i'm missing out on the most important thing in life. i guess its different if youve actually been in one - youre likely to be more grounded.
silly me.
I thought that when I was 16 (not meant to be patronising) and for the best part of 5 years after that I totally went from relationship to relationship (and stayed in them when sometimes I really should have walked away) because I felt I needed somebody else in my life to define myself, and it's no wonder they all ended.
If you want to be in a relationship too much, then you'll cling onto it because you'll be scared of going back to what your life was like before then. That's why you need to learn to be happy with who you are as a person, then you'll value yourself more and be on a more stable frame of mind, so if things don't work out first time around, then you can say "Oh well, it didn't work out this time", learn from your mistakes and move on.
Hope you get there and stuff.
yeah, its wierd. sorry to sound whiny but i was happy, until i started fancying someone . that made me feel like shit cos i knew she'd day no, which she did, and i realised all the things wrong with me and how im not happy with who i am because i need someone to validate me. god knows i cant do it myself.
wow, and this isn't even my post.
That's it aswell though, most people do get self-doubt when they get hurt like that.
All you can really do is get over it and move on, and try not to let it affect the future. I lost a potentially really cool g/f a couple of years back because my ex had really fucked me up big time, and I got so scared of showing affection because I was scared it'd get thrown back at me.
All I can really say is just to go with the flow, sounds cheesy but you just need to try and surround yourself with people who like you for being you, try and make yourself happy and single, then take it from there
thanks, it still feels as though i need to be in a relationship for my happiness, but also so i can appreciate what it is to be alone. if that makes sense.