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complements
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Everytime I see my GF, sooner or later I end up telling her how amazing she looks or how I enjoy spendng time with her etc. If I had it my way, I'd keep telling her this, but I make a real effort to only say it once.
What I wanted to get was people's opinions on whether its a good idea to genually complement someone atleast once. I'm worried about coming across as 'too nice'.
What I wanted to get was people's opinions on whether its a good idea to genually complement someone atleast once. I'm worried about coming across as 'too nice'.
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Hmmm... Sometimes it can raise a woman's self-worth to heights were you could compare it to 'arrogance', so I don't try to make a fool of myself and look like a drooling idiot if she changes, or whistle, or make constant compliments (talking about not girlfriend here).
A short compliment is a sign of appreciation tho. I am not a big compliment man, and I realize girls are pleased when I tell them, "hey you look really fine tonight." and go back to other topics and don't stare at them constantly.
Let's just say, I make a compliment when one is due and I realize it is always genuinely welcomed (and at times reciprocated).
/e: Actually I am not a real compliment-getter myself, but I realized subtle appreciations myself from girl I complimented in the past, so with meters and bonds, it's a nice thing.
last time i saw him he said 'you looked really pretty tonight. there was one point when you was smiling at something and i just thought "wow"..'
:yes: I agree - compliments are fab
However there are ways to improve the way you give them...
My favourite kinds of compliments are those which highlight a personal trait rather than just looks or clothes. Lipsy's boyfriend's compliment was perfect actually, because he complimented her looks, but also highlighted her lovely smile which is a strong personal trait - complimenting things like kindness, good sense of humour, confidence etc can also make someone feel amazing. It also pays to be specific - back to the Lipsy's smile as otherwise as I think someone said, it can sound insincere.
Although I suck at giving compliments (or at least I think I do), especially to my bf. But I do try, I just think I sound ridiculous or something.
But yes, you can make people feel good by saying nice things (provided they are genuine).
They're a great confidence booster though and always put a smile on my face
I think they find it embarrassing sometimes, or are not good when the attention's on them. I hate it when people give compliments and you know for a fact they don't mean them, I'm crap at taking them then.
I'm like that sometimes.
It's not that I can't take them, it's just if somebody says I'm oh such a special guy or whatever else I tend to shrug and be like whatever, but if somebody says I'm a twat or something then it'd probably go to my head and it'd affect me for a bit.
Somewhere in between is best, like just don't let what people say go to your head.
keep the complements coming - thats what i say :razz:
I don't think they find it embarrassing.
I think that deep down because of low self esteem, they don't believe the compliment and therefore dismiss it.
Be nice, compliment her as much as you want, the more the better. If you're being genuine people can tell, and as she's your lass its not like you're trying to talk your way into her knickers anyway.
But yeah, like others have said, if they're too often they'll seem insincere and contrived. But when you're desperate to tell her she looks damn fine, then do it!! Just don't tell her every 5 minutes! :thumb:
I get it a lot and if it's from friends, it's fine - but random men or whatever that say I'm funny or pretty, or have "amazing blue eyes" (:rolleyes: ) just make me go red and try to change the subject. I know I should learn to take compliments, but I see myself as weird-looking so if someone says I'm pretty, I assume they're lying. Lol.
I pay him loads of compliments, too, even if it's a repeat of something I've said to him before. I love to see his little face light up, it's adorable
I feel the same I just dont see how anyone could possibly see it in me. Not that I get compliments that often.
Exactly! It's stupid, but I never used to get many compliments...it's only in the past year that I've been getting lots of interest, and I'm really not used to it. I just assume anyone who compliments me either has a bet on with his mates or just wants to get me into bed.
The best compliment ever, is when a bastard gives you one....a compliment that is
well not ever but it's a bloody good one!
yes please, keep the compliments coming but keep them genuine and like others have said, specific is nice - 'that dress looks really nice on you' is better than 'you look nice' but i'm not fussy
If it comes out a bit "weird" then make an effort to see the thought behind it. (Like if I thought you were hot and said <Girl, let me put that fire out!>)
It's easy to dismiss a compliment because one thinks it's not genuine. And like Lipsy said "just smile and say thanks". It's not that hard.
Try and keep them specific not always "you look beautiful" but something more real like how they dressed or handled a situation, also comparing them faverably to other women, is good but be sparing.
Personally It realy realy sticks in my throat if I have to give a complement I dont mean, and if your going out with someone then there must be things you like about them (unless your desperate) so complement on the things you notice and like not just general complements
I generally don't get compliments (probably because i'm rough ) but a few years ago a good mate of mine said I was looking really good in what I was wearing. I was really chuffed with this as i had actually spent quite a while trying to find something nice to wear (it was for a friends birhtday).
Also a few years back I turned up to a freinds party and his wife was the first person I met, she said I looked great, like a model. I was a bit embarresed, but it did make me feel really great about myself.
Either way though, compliments are always nice and certainly make me smile...even if I dont show it. I really need to work on that.
When we first started seeing each other she found them hard to take as she wasn't used to them. Which i can understand as its very rare that i ever got them.
I think giving complements is just a friendly and nice thing to do in general.