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was it wrong of me to do what I did?

SystemSystem Posts: 8,649 Staff Team
I know Ive posted something like this before but its really bothering me now and I can't sleep because im so upset.

(Kermit and Blah Dont need to reply to this because they'll only bite off my head)

I liked this girl for a good while but I couldn't speak to her cause I heard she said something mean about me and also I was shy around her.

I made sure she knew I was there, said hi when I could, made lots of eye contact. made small talk sometimes

I found out she was Bi from a good mate and just said I wouldnt bother with her and to just leave her alone.

I just wrote her a short letter saying what I wanted to say.

She got a mate to deal with me and told a load of people about it and as a result I got shunned for it.

I wrote the note cause she was leaving so I thought nothing bad would happen and just tell her how I felt then I would never bother her again.

Don't take the mick please but If you must... dont be cruel..

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I found out she was Bi from a good mate and just said I wouldnt bother with her and to just leave her alone.

    I don't understand, you found out she was bi and that put you off? I don't see why it should but whatever.

    Is there a question or were you just wanting to get things off your chest?

    People wont be cruel but you have to accept that some of the opinions you get might not be what you want to hear right now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think she had a girlfriend and I didnt want to intrude (or waste my time chasing her anymore than I had)
    a bit of both actually

    I just don't want to be told "shut up you soppy prat" or somthing like that

    If you wanna know a bit more about the story, ill repost in more detail.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think she had a girlfriend and I didnt want to intrude (or waste my time chasing her anymore than I had)
    a bit of both actually

    I just don't want to be told "shut up you soppy prat" or somthing like that

    So your question is 'were you wrong to write her the letter?'

    The trouble is...its done now you can't take it back, you have found out she isnt interested. IMO you just need to forget it and move on, its easier said than done but thats my advice.

    What do you mean "she got a mate to deal with you" she sounds quite childish, is that really someone you want to be with? Maybe looking back you can see that she isnt the perfect girl you pictured her to be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm not sure you were wrong to write the letter telling her how you feel, but if nyou wrote something along the lines of "you're bi, i might as well not bother" then i can see why you got a bollocking. I agree with the above poster, it's a childish thing to get your mates to sort your problems out for you- isn;t there a possibility that she'll do that during a relationship?
    Maybe because you now know she's not interested and now that's she's left (or in the process of leaving), this'd be the time to "get over it"? Not meant harshly, but that looks like the most viable prospect from where i'm sitting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't tell her I knew she was bi, its like a secret. I wasn't supposed to know.

    I just feel like a prat for fancying her, because of what she did I actually regret fancying her.

    I have moved on though but still think about her from time to time

    you know what they say "what goes around, comes around"
    I just hope im there there to see it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just feel like a prat for fancying her, because of what she did I actually regret fancying her.

    I have moved on though but still think about her from time to time

    you know what they say "what goes around, comes around"
    I just hope im there there to see it!

    Well there you go then, you're bound to think about her from time to time, there's nothing wrong with that.

    Don't waste your time waiting for bad things to happen to her though, its a waste of your own energy. Just get on with enjoying yourself and forget about her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You certainly do have some issues regarding woman. Don't wirte letters to basic strangers, that way everyone is bound to know. If you're in the same situation just pluck up the courage to talk to them, you've got enough advice from the other thread. Another thing, people won't remember this in a few weeks, it'll be only you who dwells on this, laugh about it and move on as if nothing ever happened.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im deducing that while writing the letter wasn't wrong, it wasn't the smartest thing to do... ah well, the letter wasn't to get her anyway, just to let her know how I feel....

    Turlough: Not that I have issues with women, just don't know how to deal with em....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't be so needy!
    That reminds me of a situation that happened with my friend not long ago. She said she'd go out with this guy "in the moment", even though she didn't want to. He asked her by saying "will you be my girlfriend?" bearing in mind that he's 19 and she's 18, not 12 and 11 which is the usual age that you would use that phrase. And after two days of them 'going out' he bought her some flowers saying "thank you for being my girlfriend" on the card, because she seemed a bit down. Naturally, I was pissing myself the whole time she was telling me these stories because it just kept getting worse and worse. Then she was about to break up with him, until he told her his grandad had just died. She broke up with him eventually, but yeah, if you don't want to end up as that guy, toughen up a bit.

    That reminds me, I think I need a bit of a cull of my friends. :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im not upset cause she said shes not interested but because she got her mates to deal with me. (im not all that upset just disappointed).

    This is the first girl I liked BTW so I guess this fuck up can be allowed right?

    I know writing letters is really old school but I can put this whole thing under 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'

    tbh, I didn't like it when you called me sensitive, im not completly sensitive. Its just that when im with a girl I like, I go all.....mushy.

    I guess I just put my heart on my sleeve but it was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

    Matt: You say the girls not off limits, what if she had a girlfriend?

    well at least this whole things toughened me up a bit...
    and at least I told her eh? better than what most guys would do.
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