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Self Esteem & Relationships
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was chatting with a friend this evening about self esteem problems, and the point I made was that in my opinion a sufferer of a self esteem problem is far more likely to be a people pleaser, than someone who is not.
I know for someone with 0 Selft Esteem I am always trying to please friends and aquiantences, buying rounds in the pub, splashing cigarettes just to feel wanted, needed and liked.
What do you think ?
~ If you can see the beauty of whatyou aspire to, it doesn't matter if you achieve it all. Simply to aspire is no mean achievement ~
I know for someone with 0 Selft Esteem I am always trying to please friends and aquiantences, buying rounds in the pub, splashing cigarettes just to feel wanted, needed and liked.
What do you think ?
~ If you can see the beauty of whatyou aspire to, it doesn't matter if you achieve it all. Simply to aspire is no mean achievement ~
0
Comments
now the messed up part if i knoow i do all this stuff then y do i keep doing it?
I wish someone could tell me
I don't know what i am really, when i lived with my ex, i wouldn't hesitate to start a row, and tell him to change or i'll leave, and that his mum was this and his brother was that, and he always sponged off his dad, but this isn't about why i left him, so we'll leave it there!!!! lol
But with my new boyf there are a list of things i want to have out with him, that would cause i huge row, but i just can't do it. I don't know if its because he is 8 years older than me were my ex was a bit younger therefore i felt more superior to him. Or if its because i know now that all that shouting i did before didn't get me anywhere, so i may as well shut up and get on with it.
I thought that me ex gave me confidence to stand up for myself, but now its all gone out of the window, and i'm sweet innocent mandy again, who will do anything just to keep the peace!! I'm not the worlds most confident person, god i wish i was.
Somewhere inside me there is alot of anger boiling up, but i just can't get it to come out.
im talking rubbish again <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif">
There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did
Then there are those people who do everything they can to make the other person like/love them. They become chameleons changing themselves to fit in with what they think the other person wants.
Both types are on the slipery slope to loneliness. Sorry to be blunt but I've been there.
Until I met my husband I thought I loved every guy I went out with & I did my damndest to make sure they loved me, I was usually successful, but I was still lonely until I met my current husband. He helped me to become me (although he didn't even realise it lol).
The unfortunate upshot of this, is that for the first time in my life I know that I would be quite comfortable living on my own lol. I guess I should stay though cos I'm OK here too <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
j9
lol j9 thats quite funny in a weird kind of way...!
i know a few people with low self esteem... and i think you're right j9 about the two types of behaviour they fall into.
i know someone who on the outside doesnt appear to have a problem, and tries his hardest to make everyone like him, whether he admits to it or not. and when stuff isnt centred around him, he gets funny and upset and then thats when arguments happen. and if he thinks he's upset or hurt anyone he tries to push them away, let them out of the friendship the easy way he thinks, so he cant hurt them anymore. and he thinks everything slightly wrong he does is cause for me and everyone to start hating him.
and i know someone else who thinks they're not worthy of my friendship or anything and cant understand how anyone would like them and thinks they dont deserve me and i can do better, etc. they dont seem to do everyting to please others though, quite the opposite.
so i guess either types of these behaviours are just as common.
Burn baby burn!
I can completely see where your comin from j9, i been there soooo many times before. i would say that low self esteem also leads to paranioa, which leads to insecurity, which can often mean the end of a relationship.
well i do exactly the same thing so i must b sad too !! lol <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
i think its sad that anyone doesnt like themselves but i know a hell of a lot of people dont. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
Burn baby burn!
LUK
~ If you can see the beauty of whatyou aspire to, it doesn't matter if you achieve it all. Simply to aspire is no mean achievement ~
well
DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
saying that helps me i don't know y but it does
I'm like a bird I'll only fly away. I don't know where my home is, I don't know where my soul is.
Doesn't help me! Isn't that what that bloody fishy thing sings? Grrrrr I hate those things! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/mad.gif"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">