just hating life

Former Member · April 2001

i am just going 2 have a good old moan here and u lot will probably get really bored so if u have other stuff to do i suggest u give up now!

but thanx alot 2 ne of u who read my post!

recently i have noticed i am turning into a really horrible/moody person i cant help it - i know that will probably sound really bad but i honestly cant.

take this morning 4 example - i got up and went downstairs 2 go and make me n my bf some brekkie, he came down after me and went 2 hug me but i just pushed him away.

i dunno wot it is but recently whenever he goes 2 kiss/hug/touch me i just push him away. i have been feeling really tearful aswell.

ok last nite me and my bloke were getting down 2 it and half way through i just told him 2 stop and i burst out crying he held me and asked me 2 talk about it but i just dunno wot 2 say. i start crying at everything, but it aint PMT cos im not due on 4 about 3 weeks.

i lash out at people 4 nothing and then when i upset them it upsets me even more. i hate myself in everyway, my looks/personality everything, i have no self confidence and i truly feel like i just wanna die, ive got my GCSEs this year and the thought of doing them is bad enough.

i hate life basically, and that pisses me off cos i used 2 love it, i was really confident and i was the one all my mates looked at as being really outgoing and loud.

now im not like that at all.

OMG i dunno wot is happening to me.

anyways im gonna shut up now.

luv 2 u all jo-lizzie xxx~~~xxx

Former Member · April 2001

{{{{{Jolizzie}}}}} sounds like sypmtoms of depression, I could be wrong, but it's worth getting checked out with your GP, it could be hormonal instead. Either way it's is imperritive to get checked out with your doctor to treat any underlying cause before it takes a hold on you. Whatever happens, good luck and take care, you know where we are. {{{{JoLizzie}}}}
Luk

I think it's because I'm clumsy
I try not to talk to loud
I think it's because I'm crazy
I try not to act to proud

Former Member · April 2001

(((jolizzie)))
I was gonna say just wat Luka has, its definatly worth going to the docter. I hope things start to look up soon <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Former Member · April 2001

{{{{{{jolizzie}}}}}

ditto to what luka sed. u r on the pill rnt u? that messes with ur hormones all over the place, so maybe it is that? maybe stress about exams is getting you down or depression. i would definitely recommend you go to ur doctor, ask him if he thinks its to do with the pill, and if not, could it be depression. Also if you have changed ur diet recently that could also have an effect on ur emotions.

I know what you mean about how you look back and think why can't i still be like that? because i do the same. i used to be really giggly and funny and happy all the time. But now im not, and although i want to be, i think something inside of me has changed, but i am not sure what. if i knew, i would try to set it right!

Good luck, i hope you feel better soon <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did

Former Member · April 2001

cheers u lot! no really thanks, u have made me feel tonnes better, i mean i might not be able 2 see u lot but it feels nice knowing that u r there when i need 2 talk.

i am off 2 the doctors on the 19th at 9.30 so think about me wont ya!!! drifter i did actually think it might be cos of the pill, so when i have finished this pack (microgynon 30) 2 (mercilon) plus i have put on some weight!

but hopefully the doctor will help, i hate the thought that i might be "depressed" i just wanna be the way i used 2 be happy golucky, *sighs*

anyway please keep replying! luv jo-lizzie xxx

Former Member · April 2001

Could be depression, could be PMT (I used to have it for 2 weeks!!!!!!!), could be the pill.

Whatever it is, good luck with the doc on Thursday. Don't chicken out, it's important that you tell him how you're feeling, especially about the crying.

Luka, where's that link to the Goldberg test?

see ya
j9

Girl-From-Mars · April 2001

ill get it ill get it!
http://community.netdoktor.com/ccs/uk/depression/facts/ami/article.jsp?articleIdent=uk.depression.facts.ami.uk_depression_article_1792

sorry a bit excitable there....

((((((((jolizzie)))))))))

everyone else has said anything i was going to say... it sounds like it could be depression, or hormones or something. then again it could just be something you'll get out of soon, like a phase... i was the same sometime last year, with my bf anyway... i suspect it might have been due to my changing feelings for him, but i dunno.

hope it goes well at the doctors for you, dont hold anything back, tell him everything! i nkow it sounds obvious but i know id be there thinking of something on the tip of my tongue and not getting round to saying it and feeling embarrassed. but we're all thinking of you, let us know how it goes <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Burn baby burn!

Former Member · April 2001

do the Goldberg test & take the results with you <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

j9

Former Member · April 2001

I think it could be your pill. I was on Ovranette, and i lashed out at everyone, there was one lass in particular i wanted to kill. The doc took me off the pill and put me on a mild anti depressant, although to be honest i didn't tkae many, the fact i was off the pill made me feel tonnes better.

I was the same as you, i would push my boyf away, then i'll want a hug, he could do no right and i felt worse. I needed him but he felt so helpless and i didn't know what i wanted.

I had college then, and a dad who hated my boyf and it felt that every where i went there were problems going with with me, and all because of a load of hormones.

I too was putting on weight. AT that time i was a size 12, which aint bad but my mate came in one day and found me crying on my bed coz i thought i was fat and couldn't fit in owt. Now i'm a 16 and happy!!! Do'h

Chin up Jo, let us know how you get on at the docs, and when you feel better do something really special with your boyf and reasure him that its not his fault.

Former Member · April 2001

hi jo its jamie your bloke

dont pull your hair out jo i know that things can and will get hard but you cant keep things all in side can you?

im always here for you please just talk to me how an i help when i dont even know whats up?

cum on jo let me help you!

Former Member · April 2001

thats just it,

u know im shit t getting my feelings out (verbally) but im better at writing them down. but when i got u 2 read this u should have understood how im feeling.

anyway im really sorry 4 being such a cow 2 u i do love u sooooooo much and im sorry

Former Member · April 2001

GCSE's r a stressin thing i know!, but the thing is its like ur mocks in there u dont stress most peeps stress bout the after but u know there are so many options of things u can do, even if if u do fail,just as long as u have had a life go in confident people will deffo take u on they luuurve good attendence! talk 2 your friends have they noticed if u have changed since the pill? good luck

Former Member · April 2001

i know, i am actually really stressed bout my GCSEs. i know im not gonna get very good ones but im not staying on ne way, but i have no clue as 2 wot i want to do????

Former Member · June 2001

I sometimes fly off the handle over the smallest things. I punch things, swear at things (but never people), i even breakdown crying for the smallest reasons (although never infront of someone) and sometimes just go into a trance and start to question whether life is worth it etc etc. I even start cutting occasionally although not recently.
Just try not to let it affect your life, thats the only advice I can really give.

"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."

Former Member · June 2001

talyyyyyyyyynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this post is old. let it die. please!

just hating life

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