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trust its major right???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
i have been with my boyfriend a month and a bit and he told me that he found it really hard to get me to open up and tell him stuff. i hadnt noticed to be honest. anyway, one of the things he's been goign on about is my virginity and whether i was a virgin or not. I wouldnt tell him because i fee#l that it shouldnt matter either way and it shouldnt change his feelings. anyway, once the discussion was over i found out he had talked to someone else about it (some bitch i dont know very well) and was asking her stuff and discussing ME with her. i was soooooooo angry and he apologised but i said i wouldnt be able to trust him for a while.

eventually i begin to trust him but then i find out he has been discussing private stuff about me with complete strangers on the net and showing them pictures of himself so they now fancy him...great! discussing me with this 'bitch' still and jokinjg about it. He is away at the moment but i know as soon as i see him i might go mad. what do i do? do i tell him i know and forgive him again? should i have told him about my past even though i dont want to? i'm so confused...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What he has done is wrong, aggreed, and althogh you dont feel its necaccary to tell him of your past the question is why?? what are you hiding??

    Trust is VERY important, but why cant you trust him??

    If nothing then why haven't u told him?

    The past does matter in every relationship, and the fact that he has been trying to find out about you must tell you something about the way he feels.

    Talk to him about this, but do it calmly, and dont fly of teh handle -

    Just my twopenneth
    --
    concentirc_circles

    Sex is the only liquid center at the great Newberry Fruit of friendship. - Jilly Cooper 1937 -
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This relationship wont work unless u open up to him!! He feels that u cant trust him and that u cant talk to him about sensitive things? He wants to feel wanted!! He turned to other ppl 4 advice because he obviously doesnt no wot to do as he feels he cant talk to u!! Maybe if u would talk to him he wouldnt have to go to other ppl 4 advice!! U 2 just need to communicate!! You need to think about this carefully becoz otherwise u will loose him and trust u mite feel ok about breakin up now but once hes gone it will be completely different!! So just talk to him, tell him something similar to wot u told us, tell him wot ur feeling!! Hope that helps! Jen xx
    "The hardest part of loving is not when you get hurt. It's when you can't show the one you love how you feel because his heart already belongs to someone else."
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Trust is very important & you need to be able to talk to him but he must also understand that whatever you tell him is between you & him & that if he discussed it with others you would lose that trust.
    If i was you i would just start with telling him things you feel comforatble saying & see how it goe rom there, let him in a little but not to much if you rent comfortable with it.
    good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont mind telling him anything but this thing abuot my virginity. i dont like discussing it because i lost it to someone i dont gve a shit about and i hate it...i really really hate it and it scares me that it might matter to him so much. i've told him i'll tell him when i'm ready. cant he just wait until i'm ready???
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No lad is perfect! He should respect you and wait til u r ready to 'fess and i also think he should stop talking about u if u have asked him not 2....im not going to tell u to finish it coz theres more than that to your relationship im sure, but just think about giving him an ultimatum and threaten him with a break if he doesnt sort it!

    trust is important, but it wont necessarily be there str8away , sum ppl find it hard to trust ppl, so if u still cant trust him after christmas, it mite be time to evaluate yer relationship

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; good luck!
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