Parents won't leave me be?

Former Member · July 2006

Hi all,
So, about a year and a half ago, I was a larger, aka fat guy, and then I started karate, and slimmed down massively. (About 100 pounds actually.)

Now I'm 19, and about twice a week, my parents will randomly say, "How much did you eat today?" and if it's less than a boatload, then they become irate saying I am not taking care of myself, and that I need to eat way more.

I'm sure they are just worried about me getting some sort of food disorder, but I eat just fine, but they both think I don't, no matter how much, or what i eat.

Arguing with them doesn't help, talking to them about it doesn't help, It's come to the point that I might just have to ignore them when they ask...but is there any other way to get them to realize that I'm not like them anymore? (They are very large)

Thanks. :angel:

Former Member · July 2006

I hope you don't mind me asking, but what do you weigh now and what do you eat on a typical day? It's just, well... otherwise we have no way of knowing if they've actually got a point.

Former Member · July 2006

Also, how tall are you?

Former Member · July 2006

Fiend_85 wrote:

Also, how tall are you?

Yeah, forgot that bit.

Former Member · July 2006

that's ok, you're getting on a bit, it's normal for the mind to slip...

Former Member · July 2006

Mind, slip?! Let me tell you something.

I decide to wash my car. As I start walking towards the garage, I notice there is post on the hall table.
I decide to go through the post before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the rubbish bin is full.
So I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near a post box when I take the rubbish out , I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My new cheque book is in the desk in the study, so I go to the desk where I find a can of coke that I had been drinking.
I'm about to look for my cheque book but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don't knock it over.

I see that the coke is getting warm and decide to put it in the fridge.
As I head towards the kitchen with the coke a vase of flowers catches my eye - they need to be watered. I put the coke down and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I'd better put them back on the desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I put the glasses back down, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the tv remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realise that tonight when we go to watch tv I will be looking for it and won't remember its on the kitchen table so I decide to put it back where it belongs. But first I'll water the flowers.
I splash water on the flowers but most of it spills on the floor.
So., I put the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
planning to do.

At the end of the day; the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, theres a warm can of coke on the table and the flowers aren't watered. Theres still only one cheque in my chequebook. I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

But I digress...

Former Member · July 2006

Well I used to live at home with my dad and grandparents. When I lost a boat load of weight I was practically verbally tortured by my grandparents because I looked thin and how I "looked better bigger". The messed up thing was, I was always a big lad, even when I go back to photos of me being a few years old, its like they fattened me up or something.

I dont know how it ended, but it took a long time but alas, that was about 7years ago and I've moved out.

Former Member · July 2006

I SO understand that. Every 5 minutes, its

"Do you want something to eat?"
"No thanks"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, ill get something later"
"Are you sure you dont want anything to eat?"
"Yes"

....

*Comes over with a plate of food*
"Well i made something anyway"
*Hands me plate*

OMG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I now this is shit advice but move out. its the only solution i could come up with. Maybe try and talk to them again. Show them that you dont have a eating disorder. Thank them for their consern but its not needed?

x

Former Member · July 2006

this is not helpful exactly but it sounds like they have an eating disorder!
move out before you hit a nervous breakdown - somone constantly trying to shove food down your throat would drive anyone insane.

Former Member · July 2006

just lie and say u eat more than you did it the easisly way (sorry cant spell that word);)

Former Member · July 2006

lisalashe wrote:

just lie and say u eat more than you did it the easisly way (sorry cant spell that word);)

Why lie? as far as I can see his parents are only concerned.
ETA: If he did lie and they found out that would give them more reason to believe he has an eating disorder.

Former Member · July 2006

argh, i have a similar problem but the other way round. I'm small, and on saturday i went to a BBQ with my mum and brother. Now for some reason i've gone off meat recently so i didn't want a nything. So i just had some pasta. And everyones saying im anorexic. Also i don't like eating infront of people who aren't my close family anyway.
I just let it go over my head mostly and just say i don't have a big apetite. Eating lots doesn't mean you're looking after yourself.

Former Member · July 2006

You're 19, tell them they have no right to chastise you. Say you appreciate their concern but you're an adult now, that you can take care of yourself.

Skive · July 2006

Ballerina wrote:

Also i don't like eating infront of people who aren't my close family anyway.

You don't need meat nowadys as long as you compensate for it - and that's coming from a serious carnivore, and some people are just thinner than others so I wouldn't worry abou that.

I do however think that being afraid of eating on front of other people isn't entirely healthy.

Former Member · July 2006

Skive wrote:

You don't need meat nowadys as long as you compensate for it - and that's coming from a serious carnivore, and some people are just thinner than others so I wouldn't worry abou that.

I do however think that being afraid of eating on front of other people isn't entirely healthy.

i'm not really afraid, i'm just uncomforable - i get embarrased thats all. It doesn't stop me eating so thats the important thing.

Skive · July 2006

Ballerina wrote:

i'm not really afraid, i'm just uncomforable - i get embarrased thats all. It doesn't stop me eating so thats the important thing.

Would it stop you eating at a meal at a works do or something?

It's just that my sister had a similar problem, she'd get red patches on chest and neck when eating in front of people she didn't know too well, and sometimes even have a panic attack. When it came to things like work do's it held her back. In the end she had a couple of hypnotherepy sessions and she was alright.

Former Member · July 2006

Skive wrote:

It's just that my sister had a similar problem, she'd get red patches on chest and neck when eating in front of people she didn't know too wel

I'm like this, I suffer from social anxiety. Which is pretty annoying. I find it very difficult to talk to people I dont know very well, and eating is practically impossible.

Former Member · July 2006

i rememeber being nervous of eating in front of bf's for the first time

Former Member · July 2006

Samzi wrote:

i rememeber being nervous of eating in front of bf's for the first time

I get that too.

Former Member · July 2006

Yeah, the not being able to eat in front of other people is very common, I know lots of people who have it on different levels. I can get a little anxious, if I'm feeling depressed or whatever or I haven't eaten for a few days (like, half a year ago, my parents got very anxious because I was upset and just couldn't eat, and their anxiety meant I couldn't eat in front of them) it makes it so so hard.

But yes, that's not a big deal, so long as it's not stopping you eating in general. It's usually hardest when it's just two of you facing each other, I find. One of my friends doesn't even like drinking anything in front of other people... but she's kinda bizarre.

To the OP: it does sorta sound like your parents are the one with the anxiety about food. I mean, if they've always sorta over-fed you then you're just gonna have to emphasise to them that you're fine and can look after yourself.

Parents won't leave me be?

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