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I put it to you...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I put it to you that the most emotionally damaging way for a loved one to die is suicide. Discuss.
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Of course, well being raped then murdered afterwards is up there too.
I'd imagine it certainly has to be up there. Murdered at the hands of another loved one perhaps?
Any particular reason for the topic?
What would make a difference, I think, is whether I'd have expected it. If it was someone murdering them suddenly or they died in an accident it would be more damaging than if I knew they would die soon anyway.
Sophia, do you not think that to be driven to take your own life, that you yourself would be under enormous personal torture?
Emotional torture in most cases, not physical. The sad truth is is that lots of people go under personal torture and get on with it. Some people crumble and take their own life. Why? Who knows?
I can see your point, but I don't think the pain of losing someone is very easy to compare between individuals.
No, coz in that case i would try to seek the person out and kill him which would at least bring some satisfaction.
For which you'd get in trouble for. It will also make you as bad as the person who killed a loved one of yours...
This is true, and I also agree that this is an incredibly morbid topic. But, anyway...
I would have to concur with the point made about a person who has committed suicide having taken their own life [even bearing in mind the emotional trauma and torture they would've suffered] and often despite their wholly desperate and bleak state of mind they have come to some acceptance about their suicide and that can sometimes provide comfort to those they leave behind. Whereas if they were murdered then they have had their life taken from them and possibly by utterly horrific means - which you may never know the full truth about. Of course these are generic instances I'm talking about, there's no way to categorise which is worse and which would cause the least emotional damage to loved ones.
My experience of a loved one committing suicide was truly dreadful; but I never had the "what if I had done this..." thoughts that seem to plague so many people afterwards. I think he was not long for this world, no matter what anyone did for him... and they did as much as possible. The most damaging death of a loved one I have experienced was my ex's best friend who died in a terrible traffic accident (knocked over by an unlicensed, over-the-limit bus driver who was going the wrong way down a street) one day into a "lads holiday" in Bratislava. Everything about it seemed so unbelievable and horrific; just being so happy one minute and then you're suddenly wiped out... and all in front of your best friends' faces. It doesn't even really bear thinking about, it's so horrifying
It's an incredibly tough subject.
I was sufficiently crushed by the death of my mother after long illness, who can say if it'd been worse had she left by choice.
Strange debate really :crazyeyes
Theres all the unanswered questions you will never get answered.
That said i'm sure other ways are terrible also.
I might or might not get into trouble. (i can always plead temporary insanity) Also, whether it will make me as bad is open to opinion.
Eye for an eye!!
Not at all, and this debate is no more strange than the one that established (ish) that suicide was a purely selfish act. I just felt that it would be most helpful to start from a premise and go from there.