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"Do you go around drenching everyone who comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single. "
Both from Dogma.
Yes. It was the worst part of Episode 3 tbh. But it made me laugh at the lameness.
Oh, and how could I forget:
"Charlie don't surf!" Kilgore. Legend.
"Foosball is the DEVIL!!!!!"
"Uh oh, sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!"
"But somehow, that doesn't seem to matter as much as a big fucking driveway!"
"I just love driving it, it is just so choice...if you have the opportunity i highly reccommend picking one up"
"This is goin' straight to the pool room!"
And...my favourite...
"Tell him he's dreamin'!!!!!"
"Cat Admiring Bitter Customer: Cute cat. What's his name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer.
Cat Admiring Bitter Customer: [grabs pack of cigarettes] Fuckin' dickhead."
"Coroner: My only question is how did she come to have sex with the dead guy?
Dante Hicks: She thought it was me.
Coroner: What kind of convenience store do you run here? "
"Dante Hicks: But you hate people.
Randal Graves: Yes, but I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic? "
"Olaf Oleeson: [singing] My love for you is like a truck, BERZERKER! Would you like some making fuck, BERZERKER!
Jay: [snickering] That's pretty fucking funny.
Jay's Lady Friend: Did he just say "making fuck"? "
God there are so many more ;D
Dashiki: Now kids, what do we say to a man that Mommy just met?
Kids: Are you my daddy?
Ashtray's cellmate: If you hit a man, in time his wounds will heal. If you steal from a man, you can replace what you've stolen. But always cross in the green, never in between. Because the honorable Elijah Muhammed Ali floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. And always remember my brother, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, knick knack, paddy whack, give a dog a bone, two thousand, zero, zero, party, oops! Out of time, my bacon smellin' fine.
Ashtray's Mother: Tray, I don't want you hangin' out in the streets. I want you to finish school, 'cause without an education the only kind of work you're gonna get is sellin' drugs, pimpin' women, or workin' security for Eddie Murphy.
Officer Self Hatred: You ain't so tough now, little nigga. I hate your black bastards, you *stink*! I hate your black skin. I hate your black pants. I hate black pepper. I hate black keys on a piano. I hate my gums, because they're black. I hate Whoopi Goldberg's *lips*. I hate the back of Forrest Whittaker's neck. Huh? Most of all, I hate that black-ass Wesley Snipes.
from priscilla queen of the desert.
Interviewer: Mr. Murphy, do you mean that you lied on your application?
Spud: Only to get my foot in the door. Showing initiative, right?
Interviewer: You were referred here by the Department of Employment. There's no need for you to get your "foot in the door," as you put it.
Spud: Hey, right, no problem. Whatever you say, man. You're the man, the governor, the dude in the chair, like. I'm merely here. But obviously I am. Here, that is. I hope I'm not talking too much. I don't usually. I think it's all important, though, isn't it?
And from the deleted scenes in TTT
Legolas : Final count 48
Gimli : This my friend, is 49
*Legolas shoots the dead orc Gimli is sitting on, between his legs*
Legolas : 49
Legolas : It twitched
Gimli : That's because my axe is embedded in it's nervous system!
*moves axe to move the arms and legs like a puppet*
And everything from Austin Powers cracks me up.
"Dixie. Dixie Normus."
"Run Mr Powers! Fly Fly! ... I'll get that..."
I wanna watch Austin 3 now...
I'm not even supposed to be here! Fantastic film.
Also from Fight Club:
"Is that your blood?"
"Some of it is, yeah"
and
"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time"
~anchorman
And the Dutch."
"How about no! You crazy Dutch bastard"
Yea... I watched Austin powers 3 last night...
Vince Vaughn - Wedding Crashers
Cyrus: "Can you fly Johnny?"
Johnny 23: "No"
Cyrus: "Well keep that in mind when you look at her, because if your dick jumps out of your pants, you jump out of this plane"
"why dont you piss off back to romford where you belong?"
"what a prick!"
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest
Dr. Spivey: Well, the real reason that you've been sent over here is because they wanted you to be evaluated... to determine whether or not you are mentally ill. This is the real reason.
McMurphy: Well, as near as I can figure out, it's 'cause I, uh, fight and fuck too much.
Napoleon Dynamite
Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?
American Beauty
[at the dinner table]
Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?
Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
Carolyn Burnham: Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of.
Lester Burnham: And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.
Carolyn Burnham: How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job.
Lester Burnham: Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass me the asparagus.
Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.
from The Usual Suspects:
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
Peter Dickenson: [holding up a pocket watch] This is an heirloom. It must be worth something.
Pawnbroker: Your heir didn't loom too big. If I gave you 50, I'd be fired.
Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends and by the '70s most of them were out living lives. Some I've seen, some never again, but there isn't a day my heart doesn't find them.
-Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing.
-Why? Oh I see. To learn from your mistakes.
-No! To make them! To find out what's real and what's not, to find out how you feel!
I've been trying to teach myself from that... I'm not sure if I've managed it yet.
The Instructor: The prolonged barrage engulfed Zero-One in the glow of a thousand suns. But unlike their former masters with their delicate flesh, the machines had little to fear of the bombs' radiation and heat. Thus did Zero-One's troops advance outwards in every direction. And one after another, mankind surrendered its territories. So the leaders of men conceived of their most desperate strategy yet. A final solution: the destruction of the sky.
The Instructor: May there be mercy on man and machine for their sins.
The Instructor: In the beginning, there was man. And for a time, it was good. But humanity's so-called civil societies soon fell victim to vanity and corruption. Then man made the machine in his own likeness. Thus did man become the architect of his own demise.
OMG Flight of Dragons!!! I haven't watched that in aaaaaaaages!!!!
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. From Gone With the Wind is #1.
"Put the bunny back in the box"