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How to ruin your life in one easy step

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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    dr_carter wrote:
    Sorry if I seem a bit dim but I don't get this MrG - I mean, surely being good friends is the basis to any good relationship?
    But a relationship is way more and different, hard to be good mates and turn it into a relationship, too much water under the bridge/too much history if ya see what I mean.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dr_carter wrote:
    Ah, you have no idea how hard it is to even think of being harsh to her. I would do nothing to hurt her, I would honestly do absolutely anything for her, even just because I love her so much as a friend.

    Y'know, you ought to have a serious word with Tugger. He's just found a 'lady' who is/will be devoted to him ... for a one off payment of £75 ... ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Update - we patched things up (she admitted she was in the wrong too because she was really stressed at the time and wasn't being rational at all) and we're back to being really good friends...

    The only thing is, I still fancy the pants off her - and I feel a little uncomfortable around her but I don't even know why... Although when I am round her I am so happy, and when i'm talking to her i'm just amazingly happy - and I get really panicky when I hear about her hanging around with other guys she's been out with/close to in the past... In some ways, I feel like she's different around me compared to the way she is around other guys, I dunno what that is, she just feels different. I dunno what to read from that. Although when we talk on the phone/online she couldn't sound happier, it's just being around me she feels odd...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    because it sounds like you are obsessed with her
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe because she acts like a friend around you, and around other guys she flirts, that's the difference.

    I know, harsh, but that's what it sounds like.

    And really, dr carter, not only from my own experience but from many many thousands' in the world... being close friends with the person you're crazy about is just one step before hell. If she doesn't want to date you than you're better off staying away from her. Honestly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe - I don't know anymore - I mean, just little things all the time suggest otherwise but I dunno.
    Actually I was referring mainly to yesterday when I say she acts differently around me than other guys - when to be honest yesterday I was acting differently around everyone... so maybe just bad interpretation of the scenario...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dr_carter wrote:
    she acts differently around me than other guys

    Everyone's like that, obviously.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you're just gonna end up tying yourself in knots.

    It doesn't look like you're gonna achieve the number one goal, getting her to go out with you.

    Like I said, being her mate shouldn't be a consolation prize. My close friendships are either with people who I've no interest whatsoever in sexually, or if i did have feelings then they feel something similar back which makes a wicked friendship, if nothing else.

    Close friendship has to be a two way thing, do you really think you'd both be putting as much into the friendship as each other, or do you think you'd be obsessing about her not phoning you etc?

    Be honest, do you only really want to be her mate so you have a better crack of her going out with you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bluewisdom wrote:
    Maybe because she acts like a friend around you, and around other guys she flirts, that's the difference.

    I know, harsh, but that's what it sounds like.

    And really, dr carter, not only from my own experience but from many many thousands' in the world... being close friends with the person you're crazy about is just one step before hell. If she doesn't want to date you than you're better off staying away from her. Honestly.

    This is very true. (well, I've experienced it anyway)
    The only thing is, I still fancy the pants off her - and I feel a little uncomfortable around her but I don't even know why...

    You will feel like this - I found this Friday evening with someone, but seem alright now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote:
    because it sounds like you are obsessed with her

    Basically that's what it is. Then again you're not going to see it that way, as people have said try not to get yourself burnt as it does seem you are constantly wallking a tightrope with pain on either side.

    Just back off a bit, sounds stupid right now but it helps and it gets it out of your system faster.
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