Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

ex's dating again

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
i might sound a little ignorant because the girl i like is going out with one of her ex-boyfirends and it really pisses me off

i dont get it why ex's decide to go out with each other again. yea i understand that there still might be some feelings for each other (even though their past relationship ended pretty ugly)

but what makes ex's think that it will turn out better the second time around than it did the first time i just dont get it?

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Comfort zone maybe?

    I went out with my ex, 3 times. Oops, oops and oops really. The first year was fine, then I got bored so we split up a little after. That really freaked me out just because I wasn't used to being single, so we got back together the day after. Split up again a few months later, and stayed apart for a few weeks. Then he was nagging me over and over and I made the mistake of giving in.

    In hindsight it worked out rather well, as I eventually properly split up with him to be with my current boyfriend, so there was no being single, which I don't like. I like to know I'm safe and (even if he wont admit it) loved.

    Sometimes I guess you think that you'll both put the effort in the next time, and you do, for a couple of weeks, then it slips back into the old habits.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because sometimes people are more mature going into the relationship the second time, circumstances might have changed, things like that.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I go back to exes for comfort, because I know they're fine with me and I'm fine with them and anything that goes tits up goes tits up because of the situation and not because they thought I was a twonk all along.

    Hard to explain.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with the comfort zone thing. All the familiarity is already there, it's a ready-made relationship! All the things that you missed when you broke up and all the things you associate being in love with are there. Hmm, and sometimes it's easier to live in hope that certain characteristics will change, even if you know deep down they're always going to be like that.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    life would be a lot simplier if people only had one chance to make a relationship work. :yes:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went out with my ex after breaking up 3 different times.... we are now married, going on 12 years and couldn't be happier! In fact, I was married to someone else in between 2 of those breakups.

    It happens....
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MattMatt wrote:
    i might sound a little ignorant because the girl i like is going out with one of her ex-boyfirends and it really pisses me off

    i dont get it why ex's decide to go out with each other again. yea i understand that there still might be some feelings for each other (even though their past relationship ended pretty ugly)

    but what makes ex's think that it will turn out better the second time around than it did the first time i just dont get it?
    I don't know... Maybe they shared a lot of good times, people make mistakes.

    If you care for her you'll respect her decision.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Although I believe in the statement "exes are exes for a reason", that doesn't mean that exes cannot get back together and be happy. I've got back with exes before. Sometimes it hasn't worked and we have split up weeks/months later and with my last serious ex we got back together and were together for another 2 years.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My boyfriend and I were exes that got back together, despite a lot of people sticking their oar in and saying we shouldn't. Now it is 2 and a half years later and we're very much in love and buying a house together.
    There are just no rules for this type of thing.
Sign In or Register to comment.