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Now I'm getting angry. o,0
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So...
the story basically is...
My girlfriend wants to go to this place here in Illinois that is basically like a club, with more sexuality. I told her I didn't like the idea unless I was there, considering the nature of the place, but I wouldn't stop her. (Being nice basically)
She didn't go.
That was about 2 months ago...
Now she wants to go again, with a couple girlfriend's and guyfriend's. I told her I still felt the same, but if she wants to go, I won't stop her.
Yesterday, we talked, she said I needed to lighten up. I told her that it's not a place to experiement with being apart.
Now she says she is going, and that we need to 'experiment' with seeing how much I worry about her, and 'experiment' on what happens when she goes. She says she is just going because her friend's want to, and if she doesn't feel comfortable she'll leave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This makes me angry, not because she's going, but because she seems to be pulling all kinds of excuses, and I know she wants to go, because she wanted to go before.
And then she has the gaul to put a biiiig at the end of her message.
Should I be as mad as I am? :mad:
the story basically is...
My girlfriend wants to go to this place here in Illinois that is basically like a club, with more sexuality. I told her I didn't like the idea unless I was there, considering the nature of the place, but I wouldn't stop her. (Being nice basically)
She didn't go.
That was about 2 months ago...
Now she wants to go again, with a couple girlfriend's and guyfriend's. I told her I still felt the same, but if she wants to go, I won't stop her.
Yesterday, we talked, she said I needed to lighten up. I told her that it's not a place to experiement with being apart.
Now she says she is going, and that we need to 'experiment' with seeing how much I worry about her, and 'experiment' on what happens when she goes. She says she is just going because her friend's want to, and if she doesn't feel comfortable she'll leave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This makes me angry, not because she's going, but because she seems to be pulling all kinds of excuses, and I know she wants to go, because she wanted to go before.
And then she has the gaul to put a biiiig at the end of her message.
Should I be as mad as I am? :mad:
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Comments
you seem to be like me in that you wouldn't stop your girlfriend doing anything, but oyu let her know how you feel about it and hope she takes your feelings into consideration.
I would be as mad as you, but whether that's right or not I can't say, she obviously thinks it's not, but I think it is.
If I were in your situation I would be thinking that maybe she was not right for me and I would consider ending things. But of course I don't know exactly what your situaiton is, you say she is going to a club with more sexuality, the image this puts in my mind is something I wouldn't like my girlfriend going to.
By the way, what exactly is this club with more sexuality? Is it like a strip club? Or a normal club that's known to be a bit of a meat market?
Im sure it will be grand, chill out
It's just an average club, but as Red_Jelly said, it's more of a meat market... the type where basically it's not out of place for guys to start fondling random girls, etc.
I've kind of having mixed feelings on the subject. It makes me really mad, almost enough to end it, but at the same time, I really do care for her a ton, and I know she does for me. She just is being dumb at the moment I think... But I don't know...bah...what's worse is I have to see her in...5 hours... I don't know how to respond, I'm mad as hell, but at the same time I don't want something like this to end what we have...because I really don't want it to end and don't really feel like it should end it...but...this makes me soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad. >.< :banghead:
EDIT: And what's even funnier, is I just got an e-mail from her asking me to drive her and one of her girlfriend's home at 4. I don't think she realizes that I'm mad at the moment.
If you think you can't be with someone who is like this and wants to go to these sort of places on her own then you have to consider where the relationship is going.
If it is just something that you don't like but can live with this part of her personality, then i'd just keep quiet (well actually i'd let her know how I felt but then not keep going on about it).
So you have to choose whether you want a girlfriend who doesn't do this, or her. Whatever you do, don't stay with her and try and change her, that'll just end up in tears.
Sorry if i'm stirring things, but if it all seemed fine and then she brought things up and started making excuses for going then I would start to get a bit suspicious.
Probably not what you wanted to hear, sorry!
So, we'll see.
I appreciate your help Red-Jelly, it's VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY appreciated!!!
As for the making excuses for you not to go. Maybe she just wants a night out with her girlfriends? If it's all her girl mates there and then you. Well, I'd feel a bit chaperoned yknow?
Don't play emotional games - I'd always recommend defying a guilt trip like the one you're pulling on her.
Thanks Jelly, you were a ton of help.
I would say if she thinks it is ok for you to go with her (whether or not u actually do) then it is ok but if she wants to go there and absolutely does not want you there, then i would wonder what she wanted to do there that she couldnt do in front of you maybe.
This all comes down to if you trust her or not.
Theres not really much you can do tbh, let her go, see how she acts the next day. Most people cajnt hide guilt very well so i'd think you'd know pretty quick if she'd done anything or not.
But that said, just because she wants to go to this other club doesnt mean shes planning on cheating on you, might just be she wants to feel attractive and have guys faling over themselves to be with her and doesnt want you to go because well..who would want to see a load of guys trying to get with their gf!?
I don't think she'd cheat, but I don't like the idea at all of her flirting with other guys, never have, never will. But, *shrug* Apparently they aren't going anymore anyways, as the plans fell through.
So...*shrug*