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Can't come?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok - this feels like an odd question to be writing down but I'm interested to know if anyone's had a similar experience. I started seeing someone new recently, and last night we slept together for the first time. To begin with he lost his erection, and then later in the evening he found himself on the brink of orgasm for ages, but just couldn't seem to come. I'd gone down on him, we'd had sex in several different positions and places, he'd even tried touching himself, but however long we went for he'd only ever reach the edge.
The loss of erection is really not a problem for me, I just enjoy being close to him, but I'm a bit confused as to why he couldn't seem to come. Pretty cool for me as he lasted for hours, but not so cool for him; he wasn't embarrassed (or at least I hope not, I made it clear that none of it was a problem for me and kept showering him with attention) but having never happened before he must have been a bit worried.... and in pain....!!
Has anyone ever come across this before?
The loss of erection is really not a problem for me, I just enjoy being close to him, but I'm a bit confused as to why he couldn't seem to come. Pretty cool for me as he lasted for hours, but not so cool for him; he wasn't embarrassed (or at least I hope not, I made it clear that none of it was a problem for me and kept showering him with attention) but having never happened before he must have been a bit worried.... and in pain....!!
Has anyone ever come across this before?
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Comments
Does his foreskin retract properly??
if not this could lead to a lack of sensitivity, problems keeping an erection and painful sex
so lasting for hours IS important!!!! :thumb:
not hours.
perfect time then luc? :thumb:
there isn't one really.
great, another thing pressure on the guy
half a bottle of wine is more than enough to effect proceedings
It's good that things are going so well still though. Just give it time I think is all I can say.
I find it frustrating when I feel so close to orgasm, but never actually quite get there -which happens to me when I have been drinking.
Your worried about it too much. There's not a perfect formula for sex - you might have great sex where you last for x amounts of minutes and go through y positions but if you do that everytime its just boring. Formulaic.
And to be honest if your checking your watch to see when you should come your not really in the moment and she'll notice. Just relax and enjoy it.
True I guess.
Still, can't be denied that we are under pressure to perform.
And girls aren't? I can almost guaruntee you that most girls you meet are going to be just as worried and self consious as you are
well I am not going to go into the merits of the men vs women performance in bed argument but if you watch clerks, they talk about it in that and it does make a good point.
But I suppose with girls its more the pressure of how you look naked, and with guys it's more how you perform.
I saw someone today who had a t shirt saying that.
Guess we all just have different views on it. Sex should be enjoyable not something to make you anxious though and a big part of the enjoyment is seeing that the other person is enjoying themselves. If your worried about what your doing and axious surely that is going to take away from the fun of whoever your sleeping with
Possibly it gets to be a bit of a viscous cycle...