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Getting over the past...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feeeeel your pain!

    But to bug you, here is a cliche 'Time is a great healer and all that jazz'
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe some councilling will help you? I know it did me, i haven't forgotten my past but i have learnt to deal with it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think a single person has had experiences and times in their life that they don't regret which effects them now. Like some of the others have said this is what makes you the person you are today and will make you a better person in the long run. I know it's hard but you just have to focus on all the positive things that are happening now. I know what it's like to dwell on the past because I do it a lot but no matter how shitty it was I still think in the long run it has changed me. Maybe not all of the changes it has made to me is good but I sure know I won't be standing for any of that crap again. *hugs* :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not going to bore anyone with the details here, but from 2001-2004, my life was universally crap. It started getting better last year, and I'm still moving upwards now. I'm still attending therapy sessions on Tuesdays, which was initially about the past, but now seems to be more about the present. Look to the future... but not too far. As I discovered, making detailed plans about the future is pointless.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just gotta put your behind in your past :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    by thinking that things will get better. you can put it all down to experience and learn from it to make yourself a happier/better person. you can't change the past so try not to dwell on it. start living life a bit more positively and the past will all mean so much less and more in different ways.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nothing is ever a waste of time, everything has a purpose, and all experiences good and bad make you who you are.

    Your ex is just pissed off because his ego will have taken such a bashing when he found out you did, after all, miss him like a hole in the head. But then he does have the emotional maturity of most toddlers.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tweety wrote:
    Maybe some councilling will help you? I know it did me, i haven't forgotten my past but i have learnt to deal with it.
    :yes: might be worth a try. It helped me sort out quite a few things in my head. Not saying it cured me of all my issues or anything but DEFINITELY helped in so many ways. (obviously depends on the counsellor though)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Life is a series of memories. You progress through life by having more memories, so trying to wipe some of them out is pointless. Instead you learn from them, become a better person, and move on.

    Don't waste time agonising over what someone who will, in the grand scheme of things, turn out to be a nobody, has said to you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mist wrote:
    Don't waste time agonising over what someone who will, in the grand scheme of things, turn out to be a nobody has said to you.

    Thats the best advice I've ever heard.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    Fuck the past, fuck the future, live life right now.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Stacey* wrote:
    Wasn't quite sure where to post this so I'll just ask it (mods feel free to move it if you want)...how do you get over the past? How do you forget things you really don't want to remember?

    I've got years of shit I just want to forget to be honest. Its taken me till now to realise that the past couple of years of my life have been a complete waste of time. Its made me realise how unhappy I've been the past couple of years when its quite obvious to me now that if I had the guts to make one big decision so much earlier than I did, things would have been alot better for me. Alot of stuff happened in those years that I would rather just forget but arrrgghh, its weird because now I'm actually happy again the past is bugging me. I keep thinking about things that happened and getting upset about them.

    I'm having nightmares every night about a particular thing that keeps bugging me and arrrggghh MAKE IT STOP!!!

    I'm going insane guys, help me out. Someone hit me over the head with a frying pan so I can really have a fresh start.


    You've cracked it already, Stace. You've worked a few things out about the past, and have made decisions about it that will effect your future.

    Time will clear the other stuff up.

    The last xx years haven't been a waste - you have learned from them. They'd only be a waste if you hadn't learnt anything from them, and continued to make the same mistakes for the rest of your life :).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Click to see more wrote:
    The last xx years haven't been a waste - you have learned from them. They'd only be a waste if you hadn't learnt anything from them, and continued to make the same mistakes for the rest of your life :).

    Exactly.

    At least that's the way I'm looking at the last few years (relationship-wise, anyway).

    You'll move onwards and upwards and in time your memories won't hurt you. The others are so right that your past shapes you and will surely even benefit you in the future. But in the meantime there's no quick-fix way to forget; just keep looking forward, not back. :)
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