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Do Women Want To Be Put In Their Place?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My friend just told me it looks like he's getting divorced.
I tried to warn him many months ago that him being so overly accommodating to his wife was probably doing her head in.
I'm sure she was after a very confident man that knew what he wanted and knew his own mind and that's certainly the impression he gave when they first met but as the relationship went on I could see that his wife was probabaly losing a lot of respect for him.
I'm pretty sure most women get turned off by a guy that's a doormat...
Come on girls tell us something about how your minds work?
If you give your man hassle do you expect him to stand up for himself?
Do you lose respect for him if he allows you to walk all over him?
Do you want the man to be the decision maker? Have his own opinions or just agree with whatever you say?
I tried to warn him many months ago that him being so overly accommodating to his wife was probably doing her head in.
I'm sure she was after a very confident man that knew what he wanted and knew his own mind and that's certainly the impression he gave when they first met but as the relationship went on I could see that his wife was probabaly losing a lot of respect for him.
I'm pretty sure most women get turned off by a guy that's a doormat...
Come on girls tell us something about how your minds work?
If you give your man hassle do you expect him to stand up for himself?
Do you lose respect for him if he allows you to walk all over him?
Do you want the man to be the decision maker? Have his own opinions or just agree with whatever you say?
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Comments
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
ive been on dates before with guys who i just knew would turn into my lap dog so i chucked them.
i don't want to be "put in my place" though because that sounds like i'd be his doormat. no chance!
However on the other hand I would not want a bf, husband who completely controlled my whole life.
Does that make any sense?
I'd take the phrase "to put her in her place" to mean to set her straight at least it does to most men I know.
*resists the urge to say "the kitchen"*
.... The Kitchen?
(I'm only joking!!! But someone had to say it!!)
As long as you stop before you get to the electrical appliances, you're alright
I have to say I know a guy, who's with a girl, and he's totally doormat like. He cannot hold her on the 'figurative' leash and she used to sleep around a lot.
The input of many girls here opened my eyes. I do speak my mind, but I give in easy to girls I really like. I thought girls like it, when it happens their way, and appreciate it, when the man abdicates on wishes, to let it be the girls way.
I am probably just too nice :impissed:
Thanks for the input.
Being put in your place makes it sound as though one person is "right" and dominant, and then expresses this (in whichever way) to their partner and they say "oh righty-o" and everyone continues on their merry way. That's as unhealthy a relationship as one where one partner just goes along with everything. A balance between the two is ideal.
In every relationship I have/have had, be it romantic or not, I like to have equality and the feeling that people are voicing their actual opinions rather than just going along with things. However, I definitely find that most people really don't suffer sycophants gladly, as MoonArcanum said. ITA with her entire post, actually. :thumb:
Well i'd still wanna see my film obviously
It'd only annoy me if he had no opinion about anything. Then i'd have to smack him.
Or just watch different films, it's no big deal.
That said, it's a sign of a mature relationship (imo) when one person softens in their decision to make the other happy. Just as long as it's not always the same person "giving in".
I could not agree more, I think that was what I was trying to explain in my answer but not very well.
I thought this was a bit like taking the rubbish out or going down the shops late at night.
Ive seen more guys get dumped for doing fuck all for their girlfriends or not tidying up (Que me) than they have for doing everything they asked, those kind of guys tend not to get girlfriends much or for long enough to be called a girlfriend.
Sometimes girls like a guy they can order about (like one of my cousions, she's definatly in charge) as long as the guy is resonably social and not embarissing.
Hmm.. I don't think that's a very illustrative example.
The whole putting someone back in their place thing .. I think applies more to when they've lost respect for you and starts treating people different because of it.
For example I've got a friend who's been a great mates for many years and then suddenly he gets a flash car and start talking down to people, making fun of everyone else's car, geneerally being very rude to others and putitng them down on everything, etc Eventually he needed to be brought back down to earth (hence put back in his place on an equal level to everyone else.)
In my friend's case I think his wife started talking to him more and more like a child as little by little he gave in to everything and inthe end she realised she wanted a man not a manchild.
On the one hand, every girl wants a sensitive man on the other hand noone likes a 'pussy' if I can put this like that.
But where is the line? Should the man give in to have it the girls way? Or is this already "not standing up for his opinion." I would not like to have a hard-headed partner. I think relationship is about acceptance and abdication, so a 'relation' a kind of 'connection' builds up so a girls and a boys expectations meet in the mid.
I feel like running postal if I'd pass on things just for the girl and later she dumps me, telling me I could not speak my mind and stay to it.
I used to work with one girl, if you were nice to her in a normal way she'd treat you like dirt, if you stood up for yourself then the next day she was all over you.
The whole thing was a rollercoaster
It would help if they could tell you exactly how it is they want you to behave but I'm sure most of the time even they don't know what they want a guy to be.
and then read further and saw two, the kitchen's. thesite is awesome.
They only said kitchen though, what about the laundry room? The ironing room? Any place that hasn't been dusted yet, the house doesn't clean itsself doncha know
I feel like I"m stalking you
yeah, we're following eachother around tonight! It's cool though
Depends on the woman I think... It's nice for people to be assertive but some men's (and women's) idea of being 'assertive' is being verbally aggressive or sulky. If they can stand upfor themselves and act adult about what I'm challenging on then yeah, I do like it....
It depends. Some people have naturally submissive characters, or arejust generally nice. If this goes as far as them not speaking their mind and talkingabout what they feel then yeah, it isn't an honest relationship.
Obviously have an opinion... My stepdad only seemsto agree exclusively with what Mum says, that would annoy me SO MUCH... I mean damn, challenge me sometimes! Intellectually of couse...
Personally I like the type of person who is completely open-minded, educated and well-spoken... I don't need to be put in my place. I know 'my place' is the equal of anybody with whom I start a relationship with, I'm not a submissive or a skivvy to anybody.
I mean, at the start when ur dating? Surely that owuld make u come across as uncivilsed pig?
so ur nice and totally accomedating at the beginning but then ur judged as "too nice" and ditched before u get a chance?
how does it work?