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our dreams are never made of real things
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Not sure if this post should even be in relationships because the ways things are going im not going to have one for much longer
Things between me and the missus have been rocky at best over the past few weeks. We've both been spending more time with friends lately and she seems to have liked it. shes told me she wants a break for a bit just so she can spend more time with her mates and going out etc and shes not sure if she wants to be in a relationship anymore. Shes not sure what she wants as says she loves me loads but we argue constantly when we're together.
I agree with everything shes said really, i love her a hell of a lot too but things have been pretty bad lately and i too have enjoyed getting to spend more time with my friends which is where my dilemma comes into play.
Is staying together worth fighting for? should we just give up? should we play things by ear, stay together but not get our hopes up? have a break for a few days? not see each other as often as usual? ive no clue.
To be honest this is the first relationship ive had where ive actually given two shits about the girl im with. Everyone else i would have just walked away but i really love her and i do want things to work.
We both agreed on the phone that we want the same thing, for us to be together and for us to work and be happy. But things havent been this way lately and we have been arguing over stupid things.
I dont even know if i want replies to this thread tbh because it is doubtful i will take any advice from them anyway and will just follow my heart so this is just a sort of rant really but if anyone has anything to say then do reply, its still appriciated all the same
Things between me and the missus have been rocky at best over the past few weeks. We've both been spending more time with friends lately and she seems to have liked it. shes told me she wants a break for a bit just so she can spend more time with her mates and going out etc and shes not sure if she wants to be in a relationship anymore. Shes not sure what she wants as says she loves me loads but we argue constantly when we're together.
I agree with everything shes said really, i love her a hell of a lot too but things have been pretty bad lately and i too have enjoyed getting to spend more time with my friends which is where my dilemma comes into play.
Is staying together worth fighting for? should we just give up? should we play things by ear, stay together but not get our hopes up? have a break for a few days? not see each other as often as usual? ive no clue.
To be honest this is the first relationship ive had where ive actually given two shits about the girl im with. Everyone else i would have just walked away but i really love her and i do want things to work.
We both agreed on the phone that we want the same thing, for us to be together and for us to work and be happy. But things havent been this way lately and we have been arguing over stupid things.
I dont even know if i want replies to this thread tbh because it is doubtful i will take any advice from them anyway and will just follow my heart so this is just a sort of rant really but if anyone has anything to say then do reply, its still appriciated all the same
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Comments
Hi Icey,
I'm not going to say too much as I think you're right - you can only do what's right for you and follow your heart. Just an article that you might find it helps to read: Stuck in a rut
I hope things work out for you
good advice BUT...when you first split up with someone course you're never going to want to think about them being with someone else! not even a few weeks/months/years down the line for some people. therefore right now, i'm sure that thought makes him want to stay with her as he doesn't want to imagine her being with someone else right now.
i dunno if anything i've siad makes sense or is right, in the end you do have to follow your heart- just like you said.
We are now currently on a break.
Bascially the last thing she said to me before we parted was that she loves me and that she does want to be with me but she just wants a few days to herself to clear her head and sort out what she wants because shes just enjoyed having more freedom.
weve all seen friends!!
hope it all works out for you! x
I just really want to be with her and want her to want that too (if that makes sence).
This is so hard not to just run round there right now...im going to resist though.
a bit different to iceys story isn't it though??
sometimes when couples go on a break, it does them the world of good and they realise how much they love eachother but sometimes obviously they don't.
either way it'll work out for the best in the end.
maybe you should just text her to see how she is
you have two outcomes:
1) she will be touched that you care or...
2)she will be annoyed that you cant leave her alone
i dont know which one will happen its up to you if you want to find out.
i know its not much help i just want you to feel better babe! *big hug*
they've only been on a break a few hours though...
i'm sure she knows he'll be missing her.
The way we left things earlier im quite happy with, left on good terms and both acted ok about it. i was gutted inside though and just wanted to not leave...
that is very true
maybe leave it till tomorrow then :chin:
chin up.
i just think it seems to be her calling the shots on this break (might be wrong?) so he shouldn't go running with the 'i miss you' messages. course it's his choice though.
well of course you shouldn't be naive, it's sometimes good not to incase it goes belly up.
all i can say is what i said earlier; this'll make you or break you. either way, there's not a lot you can do about it.
what will be, will be n all.
She cheered up a bit and went on to say how she only wanted a break because she didnt feel like i really loved her but then after i sent her a text she realised that i really do care and love her and just missed me
dont want to put a damper on this, but can i just add that although this has made you happy, that you need to be careful. Some people can do dramatic things like this to hurt the other, to get them to come running to them if the relationship wasnt going how they would like.
Im not saying thats what your girlfriend is doing, but just be careful. If it becomes a regular habit that she suddenly wants a break or something, and then gives a reason why (being your fault) then assume she is doing it so that you go running to her begging her to not split up with you, and so that you say you will do things the way she wants in order to keep her.
Glad your cheered up though :thumb: