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socially unacceptable/offensive jokes thread
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
in General Chat
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife."
"Well, tell me!" the man said.
The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."
"Oh my god!," said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"
"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her."
"If that's the good news than what's the great news?!", Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning!
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife."
"Well, tell me!" the man said.
The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in San Francisco Bay."
"Oh my god!," said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"
"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her."
"If that's the good news than what's the great news?!", Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning!
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Comments
After a few days her nurse notices that every time she sponge bathes the
patient around her crotch, the nearby monitor indicates that the
patient's vital signs increase significantly.
The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the
stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma. She calls the woman's
husband, tells him she thinks oral sex can revive his wife, and he
agrees.
When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room,
closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door.
Five minutes later, the husband comes running out of the room screaming
that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and that she
needs a doctor immediately.
The nurse, upset that her idea not only didn't work, but seemed to be
threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man
what had happened.
The husband replied. "I'm not sure, but I think she choked".
rainbow brites jokes weren't very offensive, no. but it doesn't mean noone elses can be. afterall it is the 'socially unacceptable/offensive jokes thread'.
i'm all for them, keep 'em coming!
What's the difference between my slippers and the Queen Mother's rotting face?
I haven't just cum in my slippers...
sir sir ...it was her fault ...honest.
only works when read aloud:
what's the best thing about having sex with 26 year olds?
there's 20 of them.
edited cos I'm a dummy as rolly pointed out!
it's supposed to be ...whats so good about shagging twenty six year olds ...theres twenty of them.
someone could be arriving here for a little sanity and may well be one them damn foriegners so i suggest we clean it up a bit ...watch ...like this.
Watch? Watch what?
As b3ta says: remember kids, Racist jokes are funny. Racism isn't.
If only I had quoted you, damnit.
i have deleted my posts ...why?
cos i'm a little high at the mo and my mind started going into a very negative overdrive ...images of kids from all over the planet arriving here in need and the first thing they were confronted woith was us lot!