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Coming too quickly..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
My boyfriend and I haven't been together very long, but when we have sex he always orgasms after a couple of minutes. I don't mind because I really like him, but I just wondered if this happens to a lot of other couples, and if anyone has any advice to delay this because I think it annoys him!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this sometimes happens to my boyfriend, and it does annoy him and he gets quite insecure about it. Just keep reassuring your boyfriend that he is doing a good job. I don't know about delaying it, but im sure someone around here does.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think cock ring can do the job.

    I had the same trouble in the past with my ex (everything is working damn good now tho) and frankly it is really frustrating for the man.

    I have never find a solution to the trouble, my problem disappeared when my ex did. Also I was unhappy back then so it might have something to do with it.

    Also I do not say it's the case here, so men come often quickly.

    Maybe try to have a bit more of foreplay or maybe after a bit of penetration switch to oral sex, or just go play a bit with his balls. That way penetration stop and if you are only playing with his ball or no to strongly with his penis you will not make him come, but the sex session will last longer.

    He will notice that and might help him build up his selfesteem and help him do better next time. He must be stressed everytime you have sex and it doesn't help him at all. if you manage to make the sex session last longer I think it might be good for him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can buy special condoms that make him last longer but I've not tried them personally and I've read mixed reviews of them. I think they are called Durex Performa.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote:
    You can buy special condoms that make him last longer but I've not tried them personally and I've read mixed reviews of them. I think they are called Durex Performa.
    Don't waste your money on them, their not that good. i've had similar problems with an ex tried them out and it was a waste. but as Nihilisticmadman said cock rings do help out here.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    My boyfriend and I haven't been together very long, but when we have sex he always orgasms after a couple of minutes. I don't mind because I really like him, but I just wondered if this happens to a lot of other couples, and if anyone has any advice to delay this because I think it annoys him!

    Hi there,
    Yes this is common - especially for new couples when there is the added excitement that comes with a new sexual relationship :) .
    Have a look at TheSite's article on premature ejaculation and note the hyperlinks too.

    I hope you continue to have a happy relationship and are able to help/reassure your boyfriend ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He must be stressed everytime you have sex and it doesn't help him at all.

    Funny you should say that... if im stressed I find myself not enjoying it as much and end up lasting ages!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JamesZero wrote:
    Funny you should say that... if im stressed I find myself not enjoying it as much and end up lasting ages!

    I'd rather last a couple of happy minutes than an hour and get bored :yippe:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd rather last a couple of happy minutes than an hour and get bored :yippe:


    Yeah I agree... thats why I dont get stressed often! :D

    Although I last more than a couple of min!! :razz:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try making your boyfriend come first by oral or hand etc, then give him a wee break, and he'll last longer the second time!

    Just dont go on for too many sessions-ina-row, or else his balls turn to raisins. :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well a couple of things I think should be mentioned..

    Cock rings are supposed to increase ur erection time and increase ur going power but do actually work by cutting circulation off and can be dangerous. They can only be worn a max of 20 mins at a time b4 they have to be taking off and there is debate over wether they cause permanent damage. Though plenty do use them.

    Also si it actaully that he gets hard anc can penertrae you but not for too long before he cums or is it he cums b4 he gets to that?

    Because cumming before the act of sex I thought is what premature ejaculation is and is handled differently to a guy who just goes for a couple of mins of penetration.

    Just take each session as it comes I guess. I mean one girl I was with I came pretty quick when I started having actual sex with her and the next girl I last ages and didnt even cum sometimes so it all depends really.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    practice makes perfect ;)

    it gets better with time
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When making love every time he gets close, stop.... wait.... then continue. That and masterbation could train him to last longer.

    Cock rings work, kegel exercises (tell him to clench and unclench the muscle that can stop the flow when he pees - isolating and exercising his PC muscles will make him harder, last longer and come harder.

    Condoms can reduce the sensation and thus prolong his performance.

    Is this about his ego or your sexual needs? If he can't satsify you by fucking tell him its alot easier if he makes foreplay coreplay - fingering and cuninlingus should be the sexual staple of your relationship. If he's just fretting over his performance get him to do the kegels and tell him there is a new pill that will soon be on the market that delays ejaculation (like anti depressants do) but with no side effects.

    And try to dispell the myth that woman want stalions who can go for 10 hours at a time - I went there and all I got was complaints "I'm sore", "I'm bored" ect...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aw people on this forum are so lovely! Thanks for your help :heart:
    Can't wait to see if any of this works :P Cock rings sound a bit scary mind you..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Replicant wrote:
    practice makes perfect ;)

    it gets better with time

    :yes:

    I just want to point out that when me and my boyfriend first started having sex together, he'd get really frustrated over things like that happening... but slowly and surely he's improved naturally...

    If your boyfriends unsure about any other the suggestions on here, don't force him and remind him that everything gets better with practise ;)

    And that practise can be alot of fun on the way :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    make him come somehow or other before intercourse (he'll be ready for more in a min or two ;)), or he can have a wank just before he's gonna see you

    its a problem for a lot of guys first stating out!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JamesZero wrote:
    Funny you should say that... if im stressed I find myself not enjoying it as much and end up lasting ages!

    Yes, but your stress might not be the stress produce by the fear of coming to quickly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    could be worse.
    try performa condoms or cock rings.
    and be glad he lasts for minutes.
    ive experineced seconds.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Every bloke comes too soon every now and then. When he does, just cuddle up to him and say it doesn't matter, that it happens every now and then. You really should see him coming too soon as a huge compliment, he obviously gets incredibly turned on by you! ;) Just try some of the above recommendations.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Every bloke comes too soon every now and then.

    I don't know if that's true.

    I would say though that practice helps, also let him orgasm before you go into penetration, best way is for you to do it. I don't really see why he should have to masterbate before he see's you, why don't you just do it for him and build it into the whole thing. Start off giving him oral, handjob whatever, after he cums then he can return the favour while he's "getting ready".
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Every bloke has come too quickly at least once. Even those who last for hours normally.

    It happens a lot in younger men, or in men who are very very excited or haven't had sex for a while.

    Get him to knock one out off the wrist before attempting intercourse. It takes longer second time round. If that's not as romantic, then you could knock one out for him before he gives you some serious tongue action.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    If that's not as romantic, then you could knock one out for him before he gives you some serious tongue action.
    I like the sound of that :p I was thinking along those lines anyway, but it's really good to hear people's thoughts on it. Sometimes when something is playing on your mind you can go seriously down the wrong thought process if you don't get a bit of perspective. :thumb:
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