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School that lets bullies get away with it scot-free says it has "no bullying problem"

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It might make the bully stop but that doesn't mean it should be the solution. Children have a right to recieve their education without threat. I shouldn't have to teach my daughter to fight in order for her to safely recieve her education. As a last resort it is something that I would do, but I would much rather the threat was removed than have to deal with it in retaliation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote:
    It might make the bully stop but that doesn't mean it should be the solution. Children have a right to recieve their education without threat. I shouldn't have to teach my daughter to fight in order for her to safely recieve her education. As a last resort it is something that I would do, but I would much rather the threat was removed than have to deal with it in retaliation.

    So you think education will stop the threat? It's like saying drug eduaction will stop drug use...it won't...bullying will always happen and I know I don't sound like the most civilised person ever but violence is the key...just kick the bully in the face a few times in the teeth...they'll stop...trust me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teachers are not babysitters.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Schools will not deal with the problem, so pupils themselves have to "take the law in their own hands", as it were.

    Is this anything to do with the school thinking it's not their problem (or their fault its happening) so they shouldn't have to sort it out? But OTOH, we shouldn't have to go to school and expect to be bullied and nothing be done about it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would like to say that I dont think fighting back should be the necessary course of action. I'm a pacifist / wimp whatever you'd like to call me. I've been bullied before and the school always tries to be quiet about, like its something you should be ashamed of, as if you were telling your teacher you can't do PE because you have some embarresing medical condition. And so, students more often than not, if they are the bullies, will continue to do so, and if they are the bullied, will feel there's nothing they can do because it's a bad thing, and it shames them - not the bully.

    A quick note on bullies though: I think they're just kids, and whilst there is severe bullying, most incidents I've seen or experienced come from random people looking for a kick, rather than someone on the warpath. Now I hate bullying, completely, but I dont think by demonising bullies and advocating beating them up is right. Our society (in theory) shouldn't work that way.

    I think when bullies are young, talking to them work well, because they dont realise they are bullying normally - it's just fun. In teenage years though, like in most kids that age, bullies seem to lose respect for authority, and adopt the 'yea whatever...' stance. I think the schools should be more proactive in combatting the bullies, rather than saying 'we have a bullying policy' which is utter crap because schools have policies on everything!

    When I was attacked outside school (were people wait for the buses) I made a complaint, the school did nothing. The guy in question's friends taunted me about the attack (it was only mild, but it was the invasion of my space that affected me) for about a year. During the year I did tell my teacher, but what could I do? She spoke with the guy who perpetrated the original attack yet he wasn't the one taunting me.

    Its all part of growing up, some would argue, and in some cases I can the logic behind having to stand up to bullies giving you more guts when you're older. But bullying isnt just about insults, or the odd punch, its about control, in the same way that people say rape isnt about sex its about power. Bullies take control away from the bullied, which is something that you cant just give back. When you see 18 year olds (or older?) who look down at the ground when they speak to you, and mumble half their words, because when they were younger they were bullied, it makes you wonder why the hell nobody intervened then.

    And when schools say "if they dont tell us we dont know" is so crap. The other week, there were about 20 post 16 boys (about 16,17 year olds) all chanting at this pre 16 girl in a nasty way, and the teachers were laughing!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    And this is coming from a former bully.

    That would explain the complete lack of understanding, I guess. It explains a lot.
    You can get the bully outside of school.

    Yeah.

    You and who's army?
    And you're talking shit about how the people who fight back are always the people who "get the book thrown at them."

    I've seen it happen, more than once. Fuck's sake.
    I know it doesn't work that way, anyone that gets bullied, just get a load of your mates and kick the living shit out of the bastard and I tell you what, he won't come near you again. Fact.

    You really don't get it, do you?

    People who are bullied are bullied because they don't have 14 hard brothers who will beat seven shades of shite out of anyone who goes near them. And bullies don't tend to go around by themselves, do they. I've never ever seen a bully who's stupid enough to let himself get in a one-on-one- he might lose then.

    There's no "moral high ground" in saying bullies are vile cunts who deserve to be permanently excluded from all education and social services provisions for the rest of their life. No night school, no apprenticeships, no scrounging on dole. Diddums. Sure, bullying is often learned behaviour from parents, but bullies need to be taught a lesson where it hurts- in the pocket. If they can't get JSA and have to starve its taught them a great lesson.
    Now I hate bullying, completely, but I dont think by demonising bullies and advocating beating them up is right.

    Course it is.

    A good flogging for anyone who bullies would serve it properly.

    School-assisted revenge would be perfect.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So you want help from a bigger bully?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    People who are bullied are bullied because they don't have 14 hard brothers who will beat seven shades of shite out of anyone who goes near them. And bullies don't tend to go around by themselves, do they. I've never ever seen a bully who's stupid enough to let himself get in a one-on-one- he might lose then.

    That's what I said. It's not as simple as just having it out with them, 'cos you'll be fighting a whole lot of people. And if you're a victim who's been bullied most of your school life, it's highly unlikely that you'll suddenly pluck up the courage to face up to them. So unless you have this reaction straight away, it's only gonna get worse anyway.

    I can remember a guy who was teasing me in year 6, so I gave him a smack in the gob...once I got to secondary school, for years 7 and 8 him and his mates still had a grudge, and so they'd do whatever they could against me. So in that example, no it didn't really help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    That would explain the complete lack of understanding, I guess. It explains a lot.

    "Lack of understanding" :confused:
    Kermit wrote:
    Yeah.

    You and who's army?

    It's not too hard to get a group of lads gathered together.

    Kermit wrote:
    I've seen it happen, more than once. Fuck's sake.

    I'd rather "get the book thrown at me" than have the dissatisfaction of being bullied everyday.
    Kermit wrote:
    You really don't get it, do you?

    People who are bullied are bullied because they don't have 14 hard brothers who will beat seven shades of shite out of anyone who goes near them. And bullies don't tend to go around by themselves, do they. I've never ever seen a bully who's stupid enough to let himself get in a one-on-one- he might lose then.

    No kermy, I do get it. Bullies don't walk around with a group of fellas all the time. He will be by himself at times, and I've said already...you'd have to be a complete hermit not to be able to gather a few guys to beat him.

    Kermit wrote:
    There's no "moral high ground" in saying bullies are vile cunts who deserve to be permanently excluded from all education and social services provisions for the rest of their life. No night school, no apprenticeships, no scrounging on dole. Diddums. Sure, bullying is often learned behaviour from parents, but bullies need to be taught a lesson where it hurts- in the pocket. If they can't get JSA and have to starve its taught them a great lesson.

    It's all well and good saying that but it won't happen. We all know that bullying goes mainly unnoticed in schools, mainly to keep a schools' reputation intact. I think you're afraid to admit giving the bully a beating is the best idea. Bullies target the weak and vulnerable, when that target is no longer percieved as weak and vulnerable by the bully, he'll stop.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    It's not too hard to get a group of lads gathered together.

    It is if you don't have anyone, chuck.
    I think you're afraid to admit giving the bully a beating is the best idea.

    I agree that fighting back is the only way to stop bullying, but it isn't as simple as "just beat him". It really isn't.

    Because of this:
    Bullies target the weak and vulnerable

    I fought back, and it stopped me being the biggest target. Course it did, I was more hassle to them than other people.

    But I lost fights, and it made the bullying worse. I lost more than I won. After a while, it stops being so worth it against the people who were stronger than me.
    when that target is no longer percieved as weak and vulnerable by the bully, he'll stop.

    You are right.

    But if you don't have a big gang of mates- and people who are bullied are often bullied because they don't- then it's a lot harder to take on a gang of bullies.

    Yeah, you do have to be a hermit to not have a gang. But that's what bullying turns you into.

    I happen to think the best way of combating bullies is to make the cost of bullying much much higher than the pleasure of beating someone. Because even if I twatted someone to stop them bullying me, they'll just go and bully someone else.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So what is your proposition to stopping bullying? Saying as the schools do't seem to do much.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    So what is your proposition to stopping bullying? Saying as the schools do't seem to do much.

    Making the schools do something, by making them accountable for the bullying in their school.

    If the headmaster loses his job because of bullies, the bullying issue will disappear a lot quicker.

    Fast-track permanent exclusions from education would be a start. Not all bullies are stupid, and that would cost some of them a lot. Preventing them ever getting any state benefits would help too- that'd catch the rest of them.

    I genuinely believe the only thing that hurts everyone is money. Nothing else will work. Cost bullies money, and the problem will decrease. Cost bullies' parents money and it will go down more. Hurt heads who don't prevent it in the pocket, and schools will stop ignoring it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    It's not too hard to get a group of lads gathered together.
    Finding out that you used to be a bully yourself would explain your total misunderstanding of the consequences of your actions. I was a lonely child. The whole reason bullies went for me was because I was alone, isolated. It was impossible for me to get a group of lads together. There was simply no way I could do it. Bullying destroyed my confidence completely.

    The fact that not only were you a bully, but that you also have no understanding of what you did has lowered my perception of you hugely, I regret to say.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    The fact that not only were you a bully, but that you also have no understanding of what you did has lowered my perception of you hugely, I regret to say.

    Hold on now...I was part of the bullying group and I never physically bullied anyone, it was psychological bullying which is just as bad admittantly...I've since apologised to those I bullied.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    Hold on now...I was part of the bullying group and I never physically bullied anyone, it was psychological bullying which is just as bad admittantly...I've since apologised to those I bullied.
    Which I must admit was more honourable than the treatment I got from my tormentors, two of whom are now crack addicts. I'm on the way up, whilst they're on the way to their graves.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    Fast-track permanent exclusions from education would be a start. Not all bullies are stupid, and that would cost some of them a lot. Preventing them ever getting any state benefits would help too- that'd catch the rest of them.

    I genuinely believe the only thing that hurts everyone is money. Nothing else will work. Cost bullies money, and the problem will decrease. Cost bullies' parents money and it will go down more. Hurt heads who don't prevent it in the pocket, and schools will stop ignoring it.

    I think your personal experience is getting the better of your judgement.

    I think we all know the course a bully kicked out of school with no social support is going to go down, crime, violence and quite probably drug addiction. Hardly a great idea. They arent just going to go sit in the park and starve.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i had a rotten time at primary school, i was even called names by my headmaster infront of the class!
    I got bullied pretty much all the way through primary school but it got worse when i was in year 5. Because i was smart, quiet and didn't have many friends i was a target straight away. And the funny thing was, that the girl who bullied me was infact my best friend for a while! She came up to me after a p.e lesson one day and asked to be friends. She seemed to hang onto my every word and really liked me. Then a new girl came who was also a bully, so they ganged up on me and turned the whole class against me. With it being a small school easy targets are picked out more easily. For months i got crap off them for being smart, never getting into trouble etc. And then i got teased by the boys because i started developing. They'd send notes, steal my stuff, kick me in the back during lessons etc. Once i remember sitting in the classroom at the end of the day waiting to go in tears because the whole class was laughing at me. And the teacher just gave me a sorry look and never said a word.

    Sorry for the rant....but after going through that, and even being called names by my own headteacher, i can fully relate to schools not accepting bullying problems. I never told, but it was right under their noses and they did fuck all. I even became suicidal and i was only 9 years old. It even got to the point that i actually took the knife out of the drawer and was ready to stab myself in the gut. Schools aren't safe at the end of the day. And tbh, i think most of the time the teachers are scared themselves.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only people ever to bully me in primary school were the teachers themselves. They used to beat the crap out of us.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bongbudda wrote:
    I think your personal experience is getting the better of your judgement.

    I think we all know the course a bully kicked out of school with no social support is going to go down, crime, violence and quite probably drug addiction. Hardly a great idea. They arent just going to go sit in the park and starve.
    I have to admit you're talking great sense as usual. Also, in my experience in a fairly well-off area it seemed that no matter what the school tried to do, the bully's Mummy and Daddy would get involved and threaten the school with all sorts unless they stopped unfairly harrassing their Perfect Little Girl with all these lies when blatantly I made myself a victim and just wanted the attention.

    (This was after my hand had become so swollen after being hit with sticks that I couldn't write and the teacher had sent me out of the classroom for crying when it hurt - she called my parents, they made me explain, etc.)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote:
    I have to admit you're talking great sense as usual. Also, in my experience in a fairly well-off area it seemed that no matter what the school tried to do, the bully's Mummy and Daddy would get involved and threaten the school with all sorts unless they stopped unfairly harrassing their Perfect Little Girl with all these lies when blatantly I made myself a victim and just wanted the attention.

    (This was after my hand had become so swollen after being hit with sticks that I couldn't write and the teacher had sent me out of the classroom for crying when it hurt - she called my parents, they made me explain, etc.)

    Why on earth would you make up all those lies? Obviously there are better ways to get attention...

    Your teacher sounds like aright b*tch, but then again, my Head of Guild was the same. 'miss, I'm being presurised into having secx with someone...' and her reaction was just to laugh at me... :rolleyes: (and yeah, this really did happen to me)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But most teachers are like that- they give more of a shit about their wage packet and their school's reputation than they do about the pupils in the school.

    Which is why the simple solution is to punish teachers in the pocket for bullying in their schools. If bullying isn't controlled, they lose their jobs, and are permanently barred from getting further jobs with children.

    A teacher who does nothing about bullying is as much a threat to children as a teacher who looks at pornographic images of children.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bongbudda wrote:
    I think your personal experience is getting the better of your judgement.

    Possibly.

    But then if they go and kill themselves on heroin, and hopefully take their mates with them, I aren't going to lament it.
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