If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
What's the point?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
In giving a shit for someone when they blatantly don't give a shit back? I've spent the best part of the past month trying to help and advise my friend, not expecting anything back, but when it comes to it he can't even realise I'm needing a hug and a talk (practically in tears in front of him, none verbal, obviously not enjoying myself). Maybe I'm selfish and expect something back, but it would be nice to know someone gives two shits about me.
0
Comments
self-centered git!
Giving is beautiful and generous, but don't give forever if it is to have nothing back...
Because you're an empathetic, caring person...sadly the same can't be said for everyone.
Try not to let it get you down, if they can only take sympathy and advice and not pay it back in kind then they're obviously not as good a friend as you thought. Maybe they're just blinded by their own problems at the moment, but it still doesn't change the fact that you're feeling neglected by them.
I hope you feel better this morning, PM me if you need to chat.
Then they are not true friends.
Maybe he didn't realise you were upset, I wouldn't write him off completely until you have a chat and let him know you're pissed off and uspet.
Sometimes it's not selfishness just some people aren't very perceptive about peoples feelings.
Just a thought :wave:
Yep they aint...
For me there is 2 categories of friendly relationship "family" and "mates"...
Mates are for fun... Family are for everything...
I'm alright...it's just annoying when you feel down and the people you expect to be there to pick you up don't even notice because they're too self absorbed in their own situations...
You're right and its totally acceptable to feel like that, but sometimes friends don't notice because they don't see the signals not because they're self absorbed. I bet if you told your friends how you feel they would be very supportive and probably feel awful for not seeing how upset you are.
All I'm saying is give them a chance to help by telling them. x
The guy I was referring to knows my mental state, but he completely ignored me anyway.
It doesn't really matter now, I guess he has a lot to deal with right now too without me adding to it.
Ok, well you can add to my problems if you like.
Everyone deserves good friends by the way so dont put up with anything less!
Indded (and a friend of mine would know all about this...)
I find this blatant contradiction amusing.
Everyone fails to be there for their friends once in a while, especially when they're stressed themselves. I did it just last week, completely inadvertantly and I wasn't even feeling bad, I was just distracted.
Ultimately, you need to decide whether he's worth it, or not.
i think most of us are innately selfish...
I mean if good friends are really so scarce then the majority of us here must be shit friends claiming to be good friends.
I wouldn't claim to be a good friend...I'd hope they thought of me that way, but it's up to them how they see me!
Also, I'm very bad at distinguishing these things, so it's not always that I choose not to comfort, but might not notice it. This I think is what a lot of people have problems with. Some people only give vague signs of discomfort, and one might not always pick them up.
Every case is unique...
That's not really fair. Some people just aren't comfortable with wet, personal talk with their pals - not part of the dynamics of the friendship. That doesn't mean they aren't 'true' friends in other ways.