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sometimes, and sometimes that approach would work, but i think it's a very dangerous move to jump in, all guns blazing and try the fuck-you-fuck-what-you-think-i'm-doing-it-anyway approach without exhausting all other options first.
it does depend on your parents, they way they are, and the relationship you have with them, i'm just talking from my experiences, and from watching my mates at that age deal with overprotective parents.
having said that, i don't necessarily think that forbidding your 16-year-old from spending a week with some older chap who lives alone is overprotective. i wouldn't have been allowed to do it, and i consider my parents to be pretty laid back.
It's still a long long way off, so you're best to leave it for now, and talk to them closer to the time, if they still won't budge, well that really is unfortunate, but that's the way it is. I think it's best to earn their trust and keep them on side.
I don't know how far it is, but maybe if you could just manage to go for a day, even if it's just for a few hours they will trust you a bit more to go there and stay.
Good luck.
my parents are dead on, i can do whatever i want really, she just worries a lot so a quick phonecall to the house if im not gonna make it back etc keeps her straight and everyones happy
exactly.
life isn't fair ballerina. you're 16 and until you move out will have to follow your mums rules. yes, perhaps she is being unfair but gwst is right; what do you want us to do...come and tell your mum she has to let you stay over? the more you nag her about it the more she's going to put her foot down.
Say that to your mum while stamping your foot. A bit of a tantrum might help too
Which alot of people have given you. They've even suggested compromises... but you aren't willing to accept anything other than your ownway. I'm not being mean, but that doesn't prove responsibility.
but your mum won't budge will she?
i haven't had a tantrum with my mum, it was more like the other way round. I tried again and was calm and reasonable but she just got mad and shouted at me.
And if you go back a page you'll see that i mentioned we're going to try and compromise.
I get the impression that because of my age, people tend to be a bit funny with me sometimes on here?
I think people can just understand where your mums coming from. Some mums are a lot more protective, especially when it's 200 miles away and she has no idea what's happening.
Which is a pretty sheltered ivory-tower view imo.
what?! i was never restricted by my parents, i never really seemed to want to do the sorts of things that they'd not approve of me doing!
I couldn't agree more with you.
However, I've learned in the past that it's best to leave the subject asleep. No matter how right you are, it's always the majority that gets the last word.
I wouldn't care. If I imagine my sister, which is also 16, going to visit a boyfriend, I realise that my mother will say no immediately. Perhaps I agree with your mother that you shouldn't be going on this trip. Do you really have to go there? In my entire life, I have been really angry because I have not been permitted to do things. Now I'm used to it. Perhaps you're being spoiled? I would never be allowed to go to a girlfriend (hypothetically) over the night.
I agree with some of the people on here, showing your mother responsibility takes years, and you have to start early.
I was going to say this actually. It's harder to keep teenage boys restricted, plus girls may be seen by parents as needing more protection. Boys are far more likely to get themselves into trouble though.
You're a bit naive.
Mine aren't strict, but then again, I've never asked them if I could do something like Ballerina has.
they are, but i think parents always assume the boys will be more likely to be able to get themselves back out.
with girls there's the worry that they'll get themselves into a dangerous situation that they won't be able to get out of. especially if they're a tiny wee thing who couldn't overpower/outrun anyone.
Agreed. But at 16, i do think that's when parental restriction should slacken considerably, if not cease completely. I think potential the long-term effects of teenage repression should outweigh parental concern.
Parents can still keep tabs on teens and stay in the background which is the sensible balance imo.
I didn't mention you.
No, it isn't. Trying reading what i said and thinking about it.
I haven't accused "everyone" at all. And i wasn't arguing semantics either.