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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
heya everyone
right this might be a bit long and confusing but i really need some advice on what to do. wel im 16 and have been going out with my boyfriend(whos 19) for about 4 months and everythings going really well. but theres one problem.... my mum and dad
they only let me out two weeknights a week and make me come in at half past 9 which was annoying enough but now they wont let me stop the night anywhere at weekends because they think im going to stop at my boyfriends. they dont trust me at all, they told me that they dont think im resposible enough to stay out later (which is a stupid reason anyway) but then they leave me a couple of nights a week to look after my little brothers when they go out and then they dont come in until midnight anyway so im not resposible enough to go out until that time but im responsible enough for them to leave their kids with me until that time. it makes no sense. theyve met my b/f a couple of times but they dont speak to him properly the most theyve said was 'hello how are you' then the conversation stops there. ive tried asking them why cant i go out later and why they wont speak to him properly but i just get stupid answers back lik 'because i said so' and 'i dont need to give a reason to you, im the parent' :banghead: all i want is for them to stop treating me like a little kid. Any advice??
right this might be a bit long and confusing but i really need some advice on what to do. wel im 16 and have been going out with my boyfriend(whos 19) for about 4 months and everythings going really well. but theres one problem.... my mum and dad
they only let me out two weeknights a week and make me come in at half past 9 which was annoying enough but now they wont let me stop the night anywhere at weekends because they think im going to stop at my boyfriends. they dont trust me at all, they told me that they dont think im resposible enough to stay out later (which is a stupid reason anyway) but then they leave me a couple of nights a week to look after my little brothers when they go out and then they dont come in until midnight anyway so im not resposible enough to go out until that time but im responsible enough for them to leave their kids with me until that time. it makes no sense. theyve met my b/f a couple of times but they dont speak to him properly the most theyve said was 'hello how are you' then the conversation stops there. ive tried asking them why cant i go out later and why they wont speak to him properly but i just get stupid answers back lik 'because i said so' and 'i dont need to give a reason to you, im the parent' :banghead: all i want is for them to stop treating me like a little kid. Any advice?? 0
Comments
But look at the bright side, it makes sneaking over for a night (or 12) that much more fun
and i dont mean to be rude or anything but i think at 16 ur a lil young to be sleeping at a bf's house!
how do they actually stop you from driving over to see your gf?
when he comes over we're not allowed to be alone in the house together (sometimes its unavoidable so we get made to walk the dog) and we're not allowed to sleep in the same room
he lives 200 miles away and im hoping i'll be allowed to go and visit him, but its probably doubtful
but really at 16 you're legally allowed to do what you want with him so they cant really stop you....the more parents hold kids back the more they'll stray away
not that i'm saying you do or anything.
Oh and also, why not invite your bf over for dinner or something? If your parents get to know the guy and like him they are far more likely to say yes.
At 16, you're old enough to do whatever you want without parental permission - this is legally the case. To prevent you from doing so, your parents are repressing your social development.
My suggestion would be defiance. Nothing good can come from their interference.
It's not their prerogative at all - not even legally.
Legally, it's an abuse of power. She's being denied valuable life experience.
Perhaps she wants to stay with her boyfriend overnight, go a friends house, go to a party? Do normal things normal 16 year olds do?
am i the only one that finds sleeping over a bf's house not normal for a 16 year old? no one i know of that age would ever be allowed to do such a thing!
At 16 being "allowed" shouldn't come into it.
18 is the legal age to be "an independant adult" not 16! so it does come into it. 16 is still considered a child.
A 16 year old is legally independent of parents in the UK. A 16 year old can smoke, have sex, leave school etc. Parents have no legal authority.
Being independent and learning the ways of the world from a young age is a good thing.
so is it ok for a 16 year old girl to go to her friends but not her boyfriends? she's allowed to have sex if she wants but not stay over....thats unfair to say in my opinion
When i was 15/16 i was allowed to stop round my boyfriends house most weekends, sometimes there was a big group of us sometimes it was just me and him, and for the first like 10 months of our relationship we weren't even having sex anyway, it would just be like yeah friday night lets have a take away watch a movie stay up late have some sneaky wkd's then sleep kinda thing.
It's not untill reading this thread how thankfull i am really to my mum trusting me enough to let me do stuff like that because i would have missed out on a lot of fun teenage things with all my friends and everything, i don't find it weird and i don't find my mum irresponisble or anything ,but some parents are more over protectove that others but most of my friends were allowed to do similar.
The more you try to make your teenagers not do things like have sex and stuff, the more they are going to rebel to try and do it, but i suggest you have another go at talking to your parents and going over all the points again, maybe suggest you even all go out for a meal with your boyfriend so that they can get to know him better and start to build up some form of trust/relationship.
i didn't know that - in Australia it's 18.
hence the confusion!
No, it really isn't.
Parents do not own their children. Sixteen-year-olds can legally have sex, smoke, and get married (albeit with parental consent). Sixteen-year-olds are not children, and should never be treated as such.
Fair enough if they say they won't drive you there or back, but they should not be stopping you, especially on a weekend. On a weeknight, if you are still at school, then they do have a point.
So?
The easiest way to deal with it is to show them that you are an adult and can be trusted. Don't shout, don't stamp your feet, and don't whinge like a toddler. Say calmly you want to stay out later on weekends, and say you are amenable to sensible times. If they try and keep you in on weekends, then just go out anyway. What are they going to do, stop you?
doesn't mean your parents should let you stay with your boyfriend, does it.
and imo, a parent shouldn't be letting their son/daughter stay with their girllfriend/boyfriend under the age of 16 anyway as it's sort of promoting underage sex.
Why not, at 16?
And at 15, the fact is many people are ready to start shagging anyway.