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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Whassis to do with relationships? Worried about him being unfaithful? Trust me, he's just as worried about you doing the same! Just keep the trust there, keep loyal.
The worst thing about it was that he never knew in advanced when he would get the evening off work or the weekend off so it was really difficult for planning things together.
He didn't have to do the war thing though as he is Brazilian and they aren't exactly a politically active country.
He phoned me tonight... and like, when I got off the phone I had a little cry on my Dad. It's just rubbish.
Hope things go ok
I hope you never have to! I've just spent a week in tears since he went back. It's daft, if I let myself think about it too much I get upset - but I can't think of anything else!
Thanks mate x
If they go about their job in a responsible manner then they minimise the risk, it's never 100% safe but they're trained for it and it's expected of them. I myself am not in the forces but my dad was, my mom was, my other brother is a Royal Marine Commando and my sister is in the RAF.. They have all been out in warzones (well except my mom as she was in the Navy eon's ago)..
It's not easy to accept at times but you have to be supportive of the life they chose, if they know your upset then it might play on their minds and distract them.. Put on a brave face Katelynx and everyone else and support your boys/girls... :thumb:
We have to go there either right after school (if don't go to a uni) or right after the uni. So, naturally, I have quite a few friends who are currently in the army.
Those that don't have gf's well when they get out.... you know clubs and stuff and whatever comes up - if you know what I mean.
Those that do have gf's are another story. You see when you're in there you get everybody yelling at you, if you screw up you take the whole unit with you - thus they'll hate you - and so on.
This kind of pressure is unbearable if you don't have someone out there who cares for you and who you care for. Most guys are really worried what their gf's are doing out there but from my experience most remain faithful. Thing is if a guy has a gf and he's in the army he'll think of her every 5 minutes at least.
What plays out worst is gals dumping their guys while the latter are in the service. Quite a few have killed themselves. While we don't like to admit it we're very dependant on the women in our lives - especially gf's - and sometimes this dependance is the only thing keeping you sane in a place where you have to go through the same sh!t every day etc.
OK, enough ranting from me - I don't have something constructive to say.
Thanks sugoruyo for that side of it, I do tend to concentrate on my side of it more, worrying about what he's doing, if he's met anyone else.
Thing is if you're there for him emotionally he shouldn't need his friends to play that role and thus.... well you know - it's happened quite a few times in my knowledge.
Remember army is an emotionally stressful experience.
However if he does actually get it on with someone else don't be too fast to judge. Just keep in mind that sometimes the pressure becomes too much for some people and they may need to blow some steam one way or another.
Others do drugs, others drink - a lot, others smoke -a lot, some get in fights, some others do sports, while some choose to drive fast - although that's not much of an option in the army, and generally do quite extreme things - including having sex with someone other than their "official" lover.
That doesn't mean that they're "cheating" in the usual way.
While it should be avoided it's something that happens and if you're a straight guy in the army and there's a good looking gal in the camp that seems to be interested in getting down 'n' dirty with you when you really need to get some pressure off your chest it's quite hard to resist - in fact he could even be thinking of you.
This is a bit far-fetched but it's actually not that far from reality.
All the training, same stuff every day, same people all day/every day -no privacy, the control of the higher ranking officers and everything else just messes with your head before you know it. It can cloud your judgement pretty fast so when it happens you don't actually think about it, it just happens. Then you slowly come to see the results of your actions and realise that.... OOOOOPS! I screwed up - if she finds out she's gonna dump me... and quite rightly so.
Just giving another perspective - I've heard quite a few army stories. In fact some from people who went to Kossovo and such and it was really hard. So be careful how you treat him.
What do you mean, 'be careful how you treat him'?
My job is stressful, i'm dealing with sick kids everyday...but i dont think that means i need to cheat on my boyfriend...anybody who does cannot love or respect their partner that much :grump: