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Bit of a problem,...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
At this age, I shouldn't really be worrying, but it's a bit depressing. I'm 14, 15 in 5 months and I've never had a girlfriend, not even a "non-serious" one. Hell, I'm not even looking for anything serious. Problem is, I'm expelled from school so I don't really meet any girls. What makes me worry something's wrong is, a lot of kids have had sex or at least done something sexually at this age and I've never even been or hugged anyone, let alone anything else, and a lot of kids are starting to look into more "serious" relationships at 14 and have had loads of little bullshit ones. I'm not even looking for anything serious.
People tell me "not to worry about it" and it's "best to stay single", but the people who tell me this are the people who never really have been single, or at least, if they were, they wouldn't stay like it for long, hypocrits really.
My first question is, what can I do to meet more girls.
Secondly, I know at this age, girls are more into the hott, attractive guys, and it isn't until they get older that they start to go for the personality more.
Am I ugly, I'll post a few pics:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/cof2/PICT0280.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/cof2/PICT0181.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/cof2/PICT2246.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/cof2/PICT2130.jpg
And please don't start all this "omg ur emo" crap, I'm not "emo" and have never been "emo". Let's talk and debate like civil adults :yes: .
Thanks for any serious replies.
People tell me "not to worry about it" and it's "best to stay single", but the people who tell me this are the people who never really have been single, or at least, if they were, they wouldn't stay like it for long, hypocrits really.
My first question is, what can I do to meet more girls.
Secondly, I know at this age, girls are more into the hott, attractive guys, and it isn't until they get older that they start to go for the personality more.
Am I ugly, I'll post a few pics:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/cof2/PICT0280.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/cof2/PICT0181.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/cof2/PICT2246.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v686/cof2/PICT2130.jpg
And please don't start all this "omg ur emo" crap, I'm not "emo" and have never been "emo". Let's talk and debate like civil adults :yes: .
Thanks for any serious replies.
0
Comments
Two I've only had one relationship in my life and that started January 2005 when i was the ripe old age of 20. So don't panic about it.
Three, once you reach this age you begin to realise that most of the stuff said on the playground/at school about what people have or has not done sexually, is just a load of rubbish. As everyone is just trying to impress their friends. Even girls do this.
Yes you are right girls of your age are more into looks then personality in general, but we must do grow up of it at some stage, I would say in a couple of years time.
dont worry about things, it isnt a competition. i think you're right, alot of girls that are younger than 16 or 17 do focus just on looks, and often this can be just to impress their mates with their 'fit b.f'. You aren't ugly, and i dont know why girls dont like you.
Are there any places that do gigs round your area?? This is not meant as an insult or a judgement, but i know you aren't emo, you do look kinda like it+so maybe thats what people see. im not sayin that's bad, but it isnt everyones taste, so maybe getting to know girls first would allow them to see the real you??
You can say that I suffer from the exact problem you're having right now. I haven't had any experience at all. Even worse, the whole problem is emphasised when you see other people with their feminine girlfriends with small skirts. Few people on thesite haven't kissed until they became 17.
I will try asking someone out on Valentines day. When you're as young as you and I, you don't get pulled. You have to get one on your own.
Clicky.
And one at my vacation:
Here.
I have had a haircut though.
I don't know if anybody really likes me. Frankly, I don't care anymore. It's only given me depression.
Hey, it's positive! I have dedicated myself to my school work now. The only thing I do nowadays is work. This has given me the best marks in the class.
You're choice. Girls won't come to you - guaranteed.
Secondly 14 is really young and serious relationships are rare.
Who cares if you havent had a girlfriend yet? Enjoy your childhood while you can. You have the rest of your life to find a girlfriend! I didnt have my first boyfriend til i was 18, and i know people my age (21) who havent kissed anyone or been in a relationship.
Oh, and no your not ugly but you need to pull your trousers up
You seem intelligent and you're certainly not ugly, so you have nothing to worry about in terms of attracting girls...it might just be a while until a suitable lass comes along. Try not to dwell on it, have fun and the perfect girl might turn up when you're least expecting it. Then again, it might be a couple of years before the circumstances are right for you to have a "real relationship", especially if you're not mixing as freely with your peers as you would be in school. Just out of interest, are you planning on going to a different school?
Your not ugly and i'd say that having been expelled would probably make you more attractive to most girls. Are you going back to school in the near future?? My advice would be to find out where girls hang out and go there- or maybe hang around shopping centres waiting for random girls to appear.
When i was 16/17 we used to go and find random men on the streets of london - we wern't very sucessfull and its probably not a very adviseable way to go meet people though.
Lastly - having gone to an all girls school the other remedy was to find someone who's parents were amiable enough to let them have a party and then find someone who knew a boy and get them to ask the boy and thier friends, maybe if you know a one girl you could get her to invite some friends - however the key is to go for younger ones - so you need to find a girl about 13 or 14ish (when we were about 14 we were looking for boys who were about 16)...
Oh, and seriously 14 is nothing. It's really not. I know you probably expected people to say that but anyway...At 19, i've just got in my first real relationship...i wouldn't worry about it at all. Just go out and have fun.
But what ever happens, I probably won't be any school for a good few months yet.
Actually I find you kinda cute ..
Out of curiousity, what got you expelled?
Seriously, it's nothing. I know for a fact everyone at school seemed to be in relationships but it was casual showing off relationships which never lasted.
Most of the time, being a bad boy isn't a good way to attract girls. If you want 'serious' stuff then they'll want someone mature.
Oh, the average disrupting class and fighting (which I deeply regret and I am not proud of one bit, I was really immature and I feel I've matured a lot over the past 6 months of being out of school, and I have grown and matured to find violence disgusting). Also, a lot of the teachers in the school only liked the "academic" kids and as I'm not that academic, they back-up having me expelled. Basically, they want an easy time and don't want to put in any effort to help kids who struggle.
Ask the majority of kids that.
Most of them are probably lying - well about the sex anyway. I know loads of people who are my age (16) who don't have boyfriends/girlfriends. You seem to be one of these people who thinks that because your friends have something, you need to have it...
Secondly, I'm 19 (nearly 20) and single (and very virginal!). I've not had a real boyfriend yet - so I'm more than qualified to tell you, being single at 14 isn't a bad thing, and definitely nothing to be ashamed of.
Have you thought about joining any clubs in your area? Do you have a youth club or anything like it? I went to a youth club when I was your age and met loads of new people, it also made me more confident, mixing with others my age.
How about getting a saturday job? You'll meet loads of new people and earn some pennies too! It's a start...
Ilora x
To be honest with you, going to an all boys school is one of the worst things you can do in my opionion.
To meet girls, going to partys is the best way. Also a haircut cut might do you some favours, but thats just what i think - im no expert. be prepared to look out for girls a year or so younger, i think 14 year old girls often feel too mature for boys their own age.
I certainly wouldnt worry about not having had one at 14, seriously. Just enjoy it.
thats how it is....personally it annoys me when the same old idiots cause trouble then moan saying they're not learning anything
Seriously man, chill... I didn't get my first kiss until I was16 and my first boyfriend, I was a 'swot' in school and a 'nerd' (i.e. I could read and stil had my virginity at 12) and never got any play...
So are you going to any other schools or whatever?
You can meet girls everywhere, do you have any under 18 rock nights in your area? Pardon me for assuming things by your images, but it sounds like your scene.
Couldn't be arsed to read all the replies, so I thought I'd just jot down some of what I remember from secondary school.
It's good that you don't chuck yourself into the emo pool, because nothing stresses me out more - however, you do look the stereotypical image of an 'emo'. Obviously you already know this.
I can't remember getting much, or any girly attention before I was 15ish(?), and at that age I'd had the short spikey hair thing which girls liked. I had long hair before, and I had long hair after (around 17) and the amount of girl attention I got significantly dropped. Basically it's a mean fact that the majority of girls aged 14-17?.. Whatever.. do not like lads with long hair. And here was me thinking my split ends were the shit.
Anyway, something else I noticed: the girls who did like chaps with long hair tended to be the rocker birds who swanned around after the chaps who wanked guitar fretboards... and emo's. I'm not saying be something you're not, I'm saying find out what you are and then start getting in with new groups of friends - people you like. When I was in your shoes either people didn't have the bollocks to go for their emo trends before the age of around 15-16 when it all developed or I had the wool over my eyes and it went undetected (unlikely).
Bottom line, go and meet some girls, shave any facial fluff and then be yourself.. Unless you know you're a dick, in which case don't be yourself. I'm sure you're a nice person.
GL HTH
or a lot of girls might just think hes a bit useless
Oh never, I love men who are lifers at McDonalds
well i only worked for them for about a year and a half
So your not going to be the 50 yr old burger maker? Loser
Also my all girls school had links to the all boys schools in the area and arranged loads of things with them - apart from the nearly always dreadful discos - the best being the annual ski trip which was really cool and meant you met lots of people of the opposite sex.
Also join a youth club as someone said - you might need to do some hunting to find the right one and be prepared to get on the bus - where i grew up depending on what kind of thing you were into you went to a different youth club ie the chav's went to one, the godly people to another and the rockers to yet another one. One of my friends is about to marry the girl he met at youth club (abiet a good 11 years further on) so its definatley a good place to consider.....