Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Ex troubles

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
My missus is having some bad trouble with her nutter of an ex. Last Monday he went round her house, smashed the place up and beat the shit out of her which ain't the first time his done it either as his always on her case when his pissed or high, gets into a foul mood and slaps her about or gives her death threats via her mobile. Next day when his sober his all "ohh I'm sorry I still love you" and all that crap. His like this because 1. he cant have so he thinks nobody else can and 2. he just wants to give her as much shit as he can because he is a pathetic wimp.

Any way, she won't tell me who he is or where he lives because she knows I'd go round to his house and kick ten bells of shit out of the bloke!

So since giving him a sound kicking (which will just come back on her) is out of the question there is always the police. Now she would like to get a restraining order against him but the last time she tried this he violated it and beat her again and only got a fine and some suspended sentence or something, so it's quite a tricky situation and I'm not actually sure what to suggest because if he cannot make her life hell other people will, so I'm kinda stuck for ideas apart from changing her phone number and moving which she plans to do soon as.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    can she not ask the police about another restraining order, and explain to them about what happened last time. So then, hopefully if he breaks it, he could be arrested for assualt/GBH or something similar???
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could you stop round hers?
    Then if and when he does turn up you'll be there ready and waiting...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Felix Da Housecat wrote:
    gives her death threats via her mobile.

    Get her to change her number then
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Chart Freak wrote:
    Get her to change her number then

    But can you just do that without giving a reason?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Go to the police, if he's beaten her then that should be enough, if not take the mobile with you and show them the messages. if he voilated it once already and keeps doing it then they should give him a hard sentance.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm with Youngbull, here, I'm having/had a simular problem myself a few summers back, but luckly he only had my moblie number and did not know where I lived, but I threated to report him and it stoped for a while but he has just been texted me really bad messages over the last couple of days so I'm changing my mobile number.

    My new sim should arrive tomorrow and as I was having problems with a sort of ex boyfriend, (we never really went out) they are going to give me my new sim for free and give me £5 free credit so that I can text everyone in my phone book. The lady I spoke to in the shop was really understanding as her daughter how is my age also had a ex boyfriend how was hassling her, so she siad as I've been with them for 6 years £7 was not going to kill the company. (Well she was the manager).
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Felix Da Housecat wrote:
    But can you just do that without giving a reason?

    I've done it. Actually, my excuse to my parents was something about getting a phone call from someone who witheld their number (why does anyone do this?) and because there's someone who won't leave me alone...
  • Options
    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    icey wrote:
    Could you stop round hers?
    Then if and when he does turn up you'll be there ready and waiting...

    :yes:

    I'd do my best to find out where he lives, go round and spark the cunt out. Fuck getting the gavers involved.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she should change her number and report him again....surely the police should do something about such a dangerous man.
    she should also change her locks and get a panic alarm or something. how is he getting in?
    i know for a fact that 3 men in my life would personally beat the shit out of anyone who harmed me....sometimes its the best way tbh. give them a taste of their own medicine
  • Options
    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Felix Da Housecat wrote:
    So since giving him a sound kicking (which will just come back on her) is out of the question there is always the police. Now she would like to get a restraining order against him but the last time she tried this he violated it and beat her again and only got a fine and some suspended sentence or something, so it's quite a tricky situation and I'm not actually sure what to suggest because if he cannot make her life hell other people will, so I'm kinda stuck for ideas apart from changing her phone number and moving which she plans to do soon as.

    Yep you're right - giving him a sound kicking will solve nothing and think how grim it would be for her to lose you if you got in serious trouble for it. Has she considered going to a women's refuge for a while? The people who work at the refuge will be able to help her take her next steps and get some legal advice. Why not have a read of the link and ask her if it's something she's considered.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    giving him a kicking might make you feel better in the short term but i'll bet you anything that he'd run straight to the police and have you charged. Then you wouldn't be around to look out for her when she needs you.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wise decision not to beat him up! i'd go to the police again because seeing as he's already had a restraining order and violated it, they might do something more severe.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She can definity get her number changed, or she can bar his number, pretty sure you need to go to the police first though and not being funny mate but if she keeps getting beaten up so bad, then she should be reporting it and perhaps move house or stay at yours....... there is no way in hell i would stick around if he just kept showing up and is a right nut job! get her outta there!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sending threatening texts is illegal, if she's kept them the police will take it seriously, especially as she's had an injunction against him which he he's broken.
  • Options
    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    katralla wrote:
    sending threatening texts is illegal, if she's kept them the police will take it seriously, especially as she's had an injunction against him which he he's broken.

    :yes: I've read some serious stories about this kind of thing in the papers recently.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Felix Da Housecat wrote:
    My missus is having some bad trouble with her nutter of an ex. Last Monday he went round her house, smashed the place up and beat the shit out of her which ain't the first time his done it either as his always on her case when his pissed or high, gets into a foul mood and slaps her about or gives her death threats via her mobile. Next day when his sober his all "ohh I'm sorry I still love you" and all that crap. His like this because 1. he cant have so he thinks nobody else can and 2. he just wants to give her as much shit as he can because he is a pathetic wimp.

    Any way, she won't tell me who he is or where he lives because she knows I'd go round to his house and kick ten bells of shit out of the bloke!

    So since giving him a sound kicking (which will just come back on her) is out of the question there is always the police. Now she would like to get a restraining order against him but the last time she tried this he violated it and beat her again and only got a fine and some suspended sentence or something, so it's quite a tricky situation and I'm not actually sure what to suggest because if he cannot make her life hell other people will, so I'm kinda stuck for ideas apart from changing her phone number and moving which she plans to do soon as.

    Soon as she moves, find his address and slap him about. Going to the police is all fine and well, but to some people that ain't a deterrant.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how has he been getting in?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I might be totally thick here but surely if you get a restraining order against someone that doesn't stop just because they break it - surely it should still be in place - even threatening texts should be enough to get him hauled back into court and i wouldnt' be suprised if him beating her up was enough for him to be sent to jail. But she should really go to the police in the first instance - but i understand if she is reluctant to do so...
Sign In or Register to comment.