If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
baby blues
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
dont know how to put this really because alot of people would think im too younge, but past few weeks/months ive really wanted to have a baby!! me and my b/f have been 2gether 2 months but we have had history!! i cant stop feeling this way!! what do you think i should do? its starting to get me down because i really want a baby!!
0
Comments
and what does you bf think about your baby idea?
You get a job in McDonalds or Primark or whatever. You kid gets older and tougher to take care of. It is costing more and more money. You have to work harder and harder, never getting a chance to go back to school. Your sponging off the government probably. Your 60, flipping burgers, but hey, you had a kid when you wanted to.
And thats if your "boyfriend with a history" actually decides to stay with you once you get knocked up. Chances are, he problay wont.
:yes: And what's wrong with waiting? It's not like if you don't have a baby now you can't ever have one. And remember, it won't stay a cute baby forever...
Exactly. A baby is not a fish, you cant just flush it when you get bored with it.
i was best mates with a girl for several years who wanted a baby since she was 12, its all she ever talked about because she thought a baby would make her life better. she even tried to get pregnant.
so no...at 17 the chances are you're not ready to be a parent, live your life first because you've got ages to have a baby
Having a child with your boyfriend may be the best thing you ever did, and that child may have the most magnificent life ever, with lashings of love, stability, and never wanting for anything. However, it could all go so easily pear-shaped. It takes a lot of money to provide for a young life, children really do take up the best part of 16 years of your life. I'm sure the idea is most romantic, and you probably believe you'd do the best you could to raise a child.
But... would it be right to start the whole process now, or wait until you are more settled in life, and have a better understanding of what you want and need? Would the child have a better chance in life if you were to wait a while, and make sure you have the best surroundings you can for them?
It isn't like buying a cat. This will grow up into a real person, an adult. And with all the bad, selfish, hurtful and miserable things there are in this world, are you currently able to give him or her the best that you can?
While i certainly wouldn't recommend it (and no you don't want a baby...really) not all young parents would class being a young parent as a mistake. It causes you to grow up quickly though, and i don't think you've truly thought things through.
You just have NO IDEA how hard it is to bring up a child, until you've done it.
just because a youngster is a really good parent and they love their child to death doesn't mean it can't be a mistake.
if she is a good mother now, i'm willing to bet that in 10 years, with the same temperament and also a whole host of life experience, she would have been an awesome mother, and also would be way more likely to have the means to give her baby a comfortable life.
the idea of having a baby is often romanticised and fluffy round the edges. lots of people like the idea of having a teeny weeny beeby, but when you bring that wee child into the world, you are not just making a baby, you are making a person. poo, wee, sick, money, debt, illness, pain, frustration, destruction, screaming rows and all. if you are ready for all that (and 3 hours sleep a night) then you are ready for a baby.
eta: the girl who i used to hang with who wanted a baby...her carrer got her this realistic baby doll from an agency called 'baby thinking it over' (this its from america) anyway you get this realistic baby doll, it weighs the same as an average baby, it stays on all the time. And you have to hold it properly, feed it, change it and it cries. Its very annoying when i go to sleep over and the thing started screaming at 1am.
They're designed to make teenagers more aware of what they're in for if they're not careful. And 99% of the time after they've had one they don't want a baby while they're still young.
Its really not as fun as you think, indeed there is a nice side to it but you have to work damn hard to have that, my bro and his wife almost split up because they couldnt cope with the responsibility and they were financially stable!
Indeed its a nice idea, as every baby is a blessing but just step back and think about the reality of this.
a)you have only been with your boyfriend for two months
b)you need an education/career
You might as well wait until you are completely and entirely able to support and look after a child e.g. when you are older/LT partner/Own home or whatever.
Go out and enjoy your youth because after all, old age is just around the corner.