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What's more important?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
What's more important in a relationship....security and knowing the person cares for you no matter what or excitment and that "butterfly in stomach" feeling when you see them?

I know both would be best but what's most important?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The second one. What is a relationship if you aren't excited when you see them?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The butterlfy in the stomach feeling is what I get when I miss my girlfriend, or just to know she is far away. Also when we kiss I get the feeling, not all the time but sometimes.

    I think that security and trust is a major major part. A big contribution to the butterfly feeling when I know my girlfriend is away is the fact that a) I miss her b) to think someone else could be trying to hit on her.

    So you could say trust is of most importance. If you love one another, you devote yourself to one another...I think that's more important than the butterfly feeling.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The first one. It comes after the second one, when the butterflies and shaky legs have worn off(which they almost always do), then you're either left with complete boredom of the other person or one of the deepest, happiest bonds you're likely to ever find.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Security is most important to me. But that is just because that is where I am in my life... when I was younger I would probably have chosen the butterflies.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years (since I was 14). I love him and things with him are "safe" and secure and we have good times together although things are sameish. The excitment has gone.

    Therefore I relate back to my arguement is it better for me to stay in the comfortable, secure, loving relationship or seek new exciting relationships and people who might give me that butterfly feeling?
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    BunnieBunnie Posts: 6,099 Master Poster
    Click to see more wrote:
    The first one. It comes after the second one, when the butterflies and shaky legs have worn off(which they almost always do), then you're either left with complete boredom of the other person or one of the deepest, happiest bonds you're likely to ever find.
    :yes: i agree
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say, stay in your safe secure relationship and make it more exciting.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The first one, definitely. I've been with my boyfriend four years and although I still get the butterfly feeling sometimes, the other aspects of our relationship are so much more important to me. From my experience that feeling will almost always fade away after a couple of years anyway, and as has been said will be replaced with either complete boredom or something much deeper and worth holding on to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first one, as as the other have said it come from time after you've had the first one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Charlie84 wrote:
    I would say the 1st is most important. But i still get butterflies in my stomach about my BF.....oh he's fab!

    Italian scientists recently worked out that said feeling only lasts about a yearh. It was on the BBC and everything. I'll try to find a link...


    EDIT : Clicko
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    !!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Charlie84 wrote:
    How daft. Seriously!!

    Not really if you actually read the article. It makes perfect sense.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    !!
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    Click to see more wrote:
    The first one. It comes after the second one, when the butterflies and shaky legs have worn off(which they almost always do), then you're either left with complete boredom of the other person or one of the deepest, happiest bonds you're likely to ever find.

    Yus, I agree with this completely.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    !!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Click to see more wrote:
    The first one. It comes after the second one, when the butterflies and shaky legs have worn off(which they almost always do), then you're either left with complete boredom of the other person or one of the deepest, happiest bonds you're likely to ever find.


    I would agree though I still get butterflies every now and again, like when he has been away on work etc. As although we have been together for a year now, he still manages to suprise me at times.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Charlie84 wrote:
    Well i read it thunderstruck and i disagree! Tho it does say the butterflies fade after a couple of years of being together..so ive a few months left yet then!!

    Good for you. It's all downhill after that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well for me the butterflys is always for me, just that feeling when your with some one who you truly love and they truly love you is the best feeling
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd go for the butterflies every time.
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