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Physical Contact

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
How important is actually being able to touch another person to you?

I have several people I can turn to for a deep and meaningful conversation and they're all brillaint but sometimes you just need a hug or to have someone in your arms and give them a squeeze or have them running their fingers through your hair. :(

Looking at this website it says people need about 8 to 12 hugs a day

http://www.beststeps.com/Beststep.cfm?bs=419
http://www.survivingburns.org/HugTherapy1.html

I don't think I've even get 8 hugs in a year ... where do yo go when you just need a hug and what do you do when you've got no one ?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some people are more touchy feely than others, and I don't think you can quantify how many hugs you need per day.

    Physical contact is always good though. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i get what you mean, sometimes you dont need to talk, just have someone there for you!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don;t get enough hugs. I'd love more physical contatc, but because I have only had it few and far between. I am actually uneasy with it now. I kinda think whats happening here" and end up looking at them and kind of end up detached sometimes. Its quite strange.

    I would love more hugs though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've just sent a text to someone telling them i need a hug!
    i miss getting them so much, cause the 2 guys that do give me hugs live in the south :(
    i just love cuddling up though, you don't need words
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i need lots of physical contact and when i dont have a boyfriend (or even when i do) i get it from my housemates and my mum. infact when i'm at home i hug my mum about 3-4times a day. :heart:
    and then with my housemates we just say if we're feeling a bit needy or hormonal and we get hugs and cuddle up to each other on the sofa.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awww thats sweet!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oooh it's very important. I don't hug my Mum and Dad as much as I used to, but I do tell them I love them every night before bed and give them a hug and a kiss before bedtime. Of if I#m with the bloke it's all out cuddles. I demanded a cuddle from him after he came out from the loo last ngiht. Haha.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that sounds great. When I have been with a girl, I like the hugs. More then the sex I think to. Its just better and warm and loving and amazing.

    Thats maybe what I like most about the company someone even I'd say.

    I am quite detached now though. Barely touch people at all and havn't had a hug in ages. Kinda fele uncomfortable when my mum or nan gives me a hug to. Its kinda worrying sometimes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does being touchy feely mean anything pyschologically do you think? I hug everyone and everything.....wonder if its a symptom of something...hehe
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    who knows lol. Its strange coz I want it more then almost anything else but find it so hard to do.

    Thats fucked up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of course physical contact, especially with someone you love, is very important.
    We always cuddle in bed before we go to sleep :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm only a "huggy person" with my boyfriend. I haven't hugged any member of my family for years! Always kiss my grandparents goodbye but never my parents.

    A lot of my friends are big on hugs whenever we meet up but it always feels awkward to me.

    However, when I'm with my boyfriend, I hate being near him and not touching him. I'm not really a clingy or needy people, but it just feels weird him being there and me not touching him. I hate it when he walks away from me at the doorstep as he's leaving - makes me feel so isolated to be able to see him but not touch him. Maybe it's something to do with it being a LDR during the week...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    However, when I'm with my boyfriend, I hate being near him and not touching him. I'm not really a clingy or needy people, but it just feels weird him being there and me not touching him. I hate it when he walks away from me at the doorstep as he's leaving - makes me feel so isolated to be able to see him but not touch him. Maybe it's something to do with it being a LDR during the week...

    Nope, i'm exactly the same.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    that sounds great. When I have been with a girl, I like the hugs. More then the sex I think to. Its just better and warm and loving and amazing.

    I don't know about liking hugs more than sex, but I would say they are as important to me. It's a very different type of contact that means just as much, but just differently.

    Edit: and I don't get 8 hugs a day unfortunately :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    least theres less pressure with hugs. I mean you'd really have to try to mess up a hug, but sex, way more complicated.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hugs can last as long as you want, sex can't ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    very true ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know if anyone else does this but a number of years ago - almost over night I found myself when going to sleep, rolling up the corner of the blanket and sleeping with my arms around it, almost as if there was someone sleeping next to me...

    Also a number of years ago I used to work in an office and one of the girls there and I would touch each other in playful ways, I never realised it then but now I can see we were probably comforting each other in little ways, like I'd tussle her hair as I walked by her, or she's pinch my cheek ...

    Even if you watch chimps they spend their days constantly pruning each other.

    I think our society is making us pull further and further away from touching each other, now if you met a girl you may shake her hand or do one of those fake cheek to cheek air kisses which I think are pointless.. years ago if you met a girl you'd actually kiss her hand.

    A teacher could never give an upset pupil a comforting hug for fear of being sued..

    I find the fact people are mentioning sex in this thread sad really, because things like hugs should be totally innocent
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All I said was that hugs are easier, last longer and I think I'd prefer a hug to sex. Thats all.
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    Physical contact is good. I really enjoy just even feeling him brush my shoulder when he walks past me. I love getting cuddles and enjoy snuggling up. I don't think I could be with someone who didn't do all this for me tbh.

    Even when at home with my parents I get lots of cuddles from them :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not a very huggy person, it makes me uncomfortable. Actually depends who it is but theres not many people I let hug me at any time and vice versa.Am getting better though. Lol I sound like a right recluse. I'm not I swear, just hard to explain.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not a very huggy person, it makes me uncomfortable. Actually depends who it is but theres not many people I let hug me at any time and vice versa.Am getting better though. Lol I sound like a right recluse. I'm not I swear, just hard to explain.
    Nah, you're alright. When we spent a few hours together back in April, I got the impression you weren't particularly touchy-feely. Nothing wrong with that, though the hugs you gave me were lovely. You came across as a pretty warm and caring person at the time anyway. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When in a relationship I need lots of physical contact. I need lots of hugs and kisses! When I have a boyfriend I love to cuddle up with them and when we are walking around town for example, hold hands or have our arms around each other.


    That's sweet, but what do you do when you're not in a relationship?

    Do you not need that much contact or do you have a backup plan?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do enjoy hugs, but only with people I feel close too. It's like I can only hug certain people. It's strange.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    However, when I'm with my boyfriend, I hate being near him and not touching him. I'm not really a clingy or needy people, but it just feels weird him being there and me not touching him. I hate it when he walks away from me at the doorstep as he's leaving - makes me feel so isolated to be able to see him but not touch him. Maybe it's something to do with it being a LDR during the week...

    I'm just the same I only see my boyfriend at the weekends too, due to his work comitments and my uni study, when we are together I seems to need alot of physical contact, like cuddling up with him on the sofa, holding hands etc when we are out, I love the fact that we always cuddle before we go to sleep.

    Its strange since we have been going out I'm finding myself rolling my blanket round me so that it feels like someone is huging me when I sleep. I guess I'm just missing being close to my boyfriend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love hugs especially off someone who you love I also like lying in someones arms watching tv etc.. that's quite nice. Holding hands is nice too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I definitely love hugging :)
    It's funny though, there are friends I've had for years who I can't hug and then there are friends who I haven't known that long who I can. Both sides of my family are pretty huggy. Unlike my boyfriend's family!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't mind some physical contact with mates.. as long as its wanted. I hate it when guy mates go all lechy and put their arms round your shoulder, waist etc.. maybe its because I'm taken. I'm not a hugger. My friends know that if they're upset, I'll be there, and try to cheer things up a bit, but I tend to keep my hugs for my bf.

    Lol I sound so cold..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my mum sometimes hugs me, i don't hug the rest of my family though - i just don't like it anymore, i don't really hug mates properly either
    i only tend to hug guys who are very close to me, and i hardly see either of them
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