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transgendered
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok..For a transgendered female (for those who dont know what that is, look it up) when meeting guys or dating guys, do you think it is the guys right to know up front if they are transgendered or not? I mean eventually they will tell them, but i mean do they really have to know up front? Do you think that its there right to know before they get involved? OR do you think they should get to know her first THEN tell him once things go a little furthur??
Im just curious to get your opinions on this topic, let me know what you think......
Im just curious to get your opinions on this topic, let me know what you think......
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Have you thought about contacting a local support group and you could meet likeminded people, or it might even be worth meeting people off the internet as then at least youve got a chance to tell people before you meet them (ie not face to face ) (as a kind of screening process) because then at least youre not putting yourself in such a risky position.
I dont think quarfly meant it quite like you said. But you gotta be honest, and tell them from an early stage. You cant be with someone for about 6 months then turn round and say "Honey I have something to tell you".
Id say if you met someone in say a pub then just chat and stuff (nothing else) then phone the person the following day and let them know the story. That way the other person can decide for themselves wether they can accept it or not and nobody gets hurt because you would have only just met.
Certainly dont get attactched and tell them, thats a big no no in my opinion.
But ya, dating sucks in that part, i had many guys be like, wow your so beautiful, if only u were born a girl. which breaks my heart to hear.
anyone see the movie transamerica yet?
There was a TV Show in the UK called There's Something about Miriam and all these men competed for the affections of a south American model - I think their reactions shown inthe last episode would be pretty typical of most men.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/content_objectid=13574613_method=full_siteid=50143_headline=-SIX-SUE-SKY-OVER-SEX-CHANGE-SNOGGER-name_page.html
I wish I had uk cable or satelite to watch it. We dont get any cool programs like that on canadian t.v.
I have no idea how open-minded people in your area are from.
I don't think you should just tell somebody straight up, at least give them some kinda chance to get to know you for you, and your personality. They are less likely to judge once they have gotten to know you a bit.
Erm, I had a weird situation once. Went out with a transgendered friend (male > fem pre-op) and had a nice time. It was going good up until they kissed me (didn't want this). Yes, they should be up front about it - but the thing is situations like that require honesty.. I didn't want to hurt the person so I went for a friendly day out, had food, went shopping, went to the cinema... Guess I just wasn't prepared to be walking along holding hands with someone who had a grip like a vice, stroking my thigh and ended up kissing me
Grah, it's a tough one. Yes they should be up front - but if you're gonna get involved with one then you shouldn't really beat about the bush. If you're not 100% sure - just tell them so. They should understand. If they don't, they need their head examined. No offence but anyone who says there's nothing wrong.. well, you're right - there's nothing wrong. But for a bloke to be expected to go "OH ITS ALRIGHT, SHE ALSO HAPPENS TO HAVE A PENIS!!" is just plain ridiculous. Instincts n such.
Adam's apples are a turn off btw.
Will its nice to know that you were easy on her and let her no how you felt. I couldnt help but noticed you used the term "they" rather than she though? Why is that?
Ive had a few experiences like that when like the guy is super nice but it just isnt there thing, OR they will act ok about it, but once you like "do stuff" with them, they will jet, sorta leaving you as an experiment. I had one guy say straight up that it was fantasy of his to do stuff with someone like me, but would afterwards rather be with a real woman.
I had to laugh when u said adams apples are a turn off, I so agree, but they also are un-attractive in guys I find, not to mention that protruding kind (we wont go there tho).
Do you still keep in contact with her? Are you two friends?
I think that's what would bother a lot of guys as well.
If two Lesbians for instance wanted to have a child they only need a man for the inital deposit, if it's the other way around you'd need to find a woman for the whole 9 months
Of course adoption is getting easier these days
yah'd, id be proud to go the angelina jolie route
I believe someone in that situation would be obligated to let the person they are interested in know.
That's like saying a gay man should tell a woman who might fancy him that he is homosexual, otherwise it's just leading her on.
I think Becky (was it Becky?) is right that you can't wait to get attached, you would probably have to come out early on.
Is there an LGBT group near you that you can start hanging with? You usually meet lots of groovy people there, all the queers and their relaxed friends.
Joining a group doesnt have to be a huge part of your life, but it might be useful for meeting people who dont have an issue with your past.
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