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Fear of Change

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
My girlfriend got her hair coloured the other day but the way she talked about it the day before just sounded like a completely different person and i freaked out because it got into my head that she would change as well.
And now its done and she doesnt look all that much different because the colour is barely noticable but i still feel like im with a different person and when i think of her its the same problem

And now i dunno what to do because i want to be with her but my head keeps trying to tell me its not her no matter how much my heart tells me it is...
:nervous: :nervous: :nervous:

And now i dunno what im supposed to do, any help or shared experience would be great please

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're contemplating leaving your girlfriend because she colored her hair? That is the most outrageous thing I've heard. I'm sitting here 10 minutes away from washing out hair color. God I hope my man won't leave me for that. If you truely belive that she is a totally nother person because of a color change, its you that needs to get checked out. Not to sound rude, but you really need help if its that big of a deal. It is still the same girl. A bit of color does not change anybody in the slightest.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my_name wrote:
    You're contemplating leaving your girlfriend because she colored her hair? That is the most outrageous thing I've heard. I'm sitting here 10 minutes away from washing out hair color. God I hope my man won't leave me for that. If you truely belive that she is a totally nother person because of a color change, its you that needs to get checked out. Not to sound rude, but you really need help if its that big of a deal. It is still the same girl. A bit of color does not change anybody in the slightest.

    I was going to agree, but then i thought about it...maybe she's decided to re-invent herself or something and the hair change is a step on that path?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    believe me ive had that already; guess i didnt explain it properly.
    its just the way that it all got into my head and i spent most of friday shaking under the idea that she was going to be a different person when i next saw her. i know it sounds kinda stupid but it shook me up pretty badly and she even sounded like a differnet person when i saw her afterwards.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    I was going to agree, but then i thought about it...maybe she's decided to re-invent herself or something and the hair change is a step on that path?

    Now THAT is something i didnt need to hear...

    :crying:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One of my friend's gf's changed her hair and she became alot more confident and ended up dumping him for a body builder guy. looks like your bird is following the same pattern. be afraid. :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does she appear to have changed? I've had my colour n style change whilst with my boyfriend........my personality hasn't changed!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You probably just think she's acting differently, i'm sure if you think about a person acting differently before or while you're with them you're bound to notice a thing or two you didn't before.
    I think you should relax, you take everything really seriously and blow it out of proportion, which itself doesn't help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she's probably just happy/excited about her new hair colour, i'm always happy after my hairs been done
    i think you're being abit paranoid
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Black Emerald get a grip, she's still the same person you nutter.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    she's probably just happy/excited about her new hair colour, i'm always happy after my hairs been done

    :yes:

    especially if it look loads better. does wonders for your self-confidence.

    i have had my hair every colour of the rainbow while i've been with my blokey, and i've not changed a bit. much as he would like me too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    noog wrote:
    One of my friend's gf's changed her hair and she became alot more confident and ended up dumping him for a body builder guy. looks like your bird is following the same pattern. be afraid. :rolleyes:
    Dont take this personally but:
    :mad: :grump: :impissed: :shocking: (<--you for giving that kinda 'support')
    noog wrote:
    she's probably just happy/excited about her new hair colour, i'm always happy after my hairs been done
    i think you're being abit paranoid
    yeh your right i guess and i do tent to overreact on these things but i love her much the way she is its just kinda hard to accept. And yes, i am paranoid (but thats not to say they arn't after me!)

    In truth today was good and i got through it feeling better cos we spent some time together and you're all right she isnt any different and she is more confident if anything. And im not just saying this cos you all wanna hear me say it or beause i hate to be wrong. :):):)
    But i still prefered the hair as before. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My ex-ex-boyfriend didn't like me wearing make-up, or having my hair cut or doing anything to change my appearance. He was quite controlling about it, which frustrated me but I loved him and just went along with things. It was only after we split up (over something unrelated) that I realised just how controlling he had been.

    Don't worry about her dying her hair. Don't stop her, or try to control her like that because it's not nice. If she is doing these things to improve her self confidence, then great! Enjoy it and enjoy her for who she is, not for her hair colour. She isn't going to dump you over a bottle of hair dye unless you make it into an issue that isn't there. Ok?

    KHSS x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dunno why my quote came up as originally posted by noog?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote:
    i have had my hair every colour of the rainbow while i've been with my blokey, and i've not changed a bit. much as he would like me too.

    :yes: LMAO. Agreed.

    I think your being a little paranoid dear....
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