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What's the big deal?

BillieTheBotBillieTheBot Posts: 8,721 Bot
in Sex & Relationships
(Before anyone asks, this isn't anything to do with the 'Peer pressure' thread I posted a few months ago)

Ok, I have a few friends who have rather dirty minds and they'll try and embarrass me by just talking about sex and generally being rude all the time. Today, the subject of virginity was mentioned and they were both going on about like losing it was a big deal and saying how they'd lost it when they were young (and I mean young...) But what really is the big deal about losing your virginity?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not a lot, its a big deal until you lose it, then your like....erm yeah great im not a virgin....so what.....its no big deal if i was....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Losing my virginity was a big deal to me. Have you ever seen The Rules of Attraction?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    Losing my virginity was a big deal to me. Have you ever seen The Rules of Attraction?

    Not yet I haven't...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well without giving much away the character who Shannyn Sossaman plays pictures losing her virginity in a special way and well..it doesnt turn out that way. On another note, losing your virginity I think can affect how you view future relationships sexual or otherwise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    , losing your virginity I think can affect how you view future relationships sexual or otherwise.

    totally agree. although i dunno

    i dnt think i know anyone that lost their virginity nicely and in the perfect situation. but then as my mate says with each new person its like losing your virginity all over again. you get that same special feeling.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I reckon thats a nice way to look at it. I dont regret losing my virginity..I think I was maybe a bit naiive and just wanted to get it over with. But it turned out to be a nice experience so I was quite lucky. I lost my virginity laughing :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not a massive deal if you know what you're doing and you love the person lots. Perfection is near enough impossible - I mean, you're new to it all, nerves etc. But then again, something imperfect to one person could be ideal in anothers eyes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it wasnt a big deal for me really.

    on the note of rules of attraction, lauren obviously wasnt that bothered about it or she would have not got in that position in the first place, without ruining the film (no i am not condoning what happened after!!)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe she didn't expect to get raped?

    She did pass out yknow..

    Oh bugger just ruined it..Uhh..NOT REALLY.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My guess would be that most of the people shouting about it are lying.

    People with a comfortable, happy sex life generally feel no need to talk about it all the time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Losing my virginity was quite a big deal, just because it started out so gradually and was pretty painful so was quite intimate and gentle, plus it was someone I truely cared for deeply and in way of rendering future sexual experiences, I appreciate the difference between sex in a loving, caring situation, than in the odd fling.

    I didn't feel the need to discuss, make it an issue to anyone else and the such cause I felt that crushed the intimacy for me.

    I've known one ex, who incidently I didn't have sex with, to brag of his experience and to push the matter a hell of a lot more...to discover later that he was a virgin who wasn't 'wise-in-the-ways'...very big turn off tbh...I'd rather my bf's approach of confessing his intact virginity cause then, we did make a real big deal of it, and it was worth it.

    I've found the braggers to be liars in pretty much every case I've strayed upon - which just makes them look pretty sad. Or I've found braggers to just totally overlook the other parts of the relationship...and tbh, when my private sex life was mentioned by my bf to a friend, I found it quite embarrassing in a way to have the intimacy...given away so easily.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Chart Freak wrote:
    (Before anyone asks, this isn't anything to do with the 'Peer pressure' thread I posted a few months ago)

    Ok, I have a few friends who have rather dirty minds and they'll try and embarrass me by just talking about sex and generally being rude all the time. Today, the subject of virginity was mentioned and they were both going on about like losing it was a big deal and saying how they'd lost it when they were young (and I mean young...) But what really is the big deal about losing your virginity?

    I think it depends on what your view of it is. When I got into my first relationship at 16, sex was a massive deal for me. I don't think you should be 'embarassed' into it, because your friends have.

    As other people have said, your first time ultimately will and can affect future relationships and your attitude to sex. Some people have a very carefree attitude, which although I'm not saying is wrong, is sometimes not sensible. My first experience was extremely emotive, with someone I considered myself to be in love with and cared a lot for. This has influenced the way in which I now see sex, and I find it extremely difficult to 'do' sex without attachment or emotions.

    It differs for everyone, but I don't think you should play down losing your virginity, just realise that it doesnt matter, what age you are and how many people etc. Its a personal choice .

    Hope this helps. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PrincessPink wrote:
    As other people have said, your first time ultimately will and can affect future relationships and your attitude to sex. Some people have a very carefree attitude, which although I'm not saying is wrong, is sometimes not sensible. My first experience was extremely emotive, with someone I considered myself to be in love with and cared a lot for. This has influenced the way in which I now see sex, and I find it extremely difficult to 'do' sex without attachment or emotions.
    I am exactly the same, because of the same reasons. I think how you lose your virginity is very important in your future attitude to sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    princessamy wrote:
    I am exactly the same, because of the same reasons. I think how you lose your virginity is very important in your future attitude to sex.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The media has dramatised it, and they have good reasons, it is a big deal :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well..i think the WAY you lose it is more impressionable on how your future relationships tend to be..
    I lost it with just some girl I knew on the fling...leading to me basically being sex crazy with girls lol!
    I reckon if I'd lost it with someone i really loved and cared about..it would be a little bit more sentimental in relationships :S
    Not that im suggesting sex isn't sentimental in a relationship..just the degree of it ..*lmao..dug myself a hole..im just gna stop typing*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mekhi wrote:
    well..i think the WAY you lose it is more impressionable on how your future relationships tend to be..

    Now call me naïve, but how many different ways are there to lose it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i first tasted pussy when i was fifteen. not much
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not a huge deal really. i mean honestly all sex is about is 'pump pump splat'. but having sex with someone you love is a very big deal. I guess it all depends on who you're with. b/c when you're with someone you love you want to be that intimate with them. you want to be as close to them as you possibly can. in all aspects of closeness... sex included. then it's so much more than just the guy pumping away. then it's more about the both of you wanting it to be a good experience, and to have that memory for a looooong time to come. :love:

    Anyways, that's just my 2 cents.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I learned

    b4 losing my virginity i didn't realize its value.I'm 16 and i now realize how valuable a woman's virginity is.Its like being a virgin adds points to u. It adds a special moment to ur life.Everytime u look at ur husband u remember ur first time.I don't regret losing mine.My boyfriend and i r still together.He was really gentle and considered my feelings all through
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