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bisexuality - love or just sex?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i wanted to make a thread about this after reading something that aimz said in another thread. that because she likes the idea of being licked out by a woman she is therefore bisexual.
lots of girls and women admit to being turned on by lesbian scenes in porn films etc but this may be because of the psychological term 'projection' -because we know what it feels like and can relate to it.
actually being with a woman and then wanting to do it again is so different from merely being turned on by the thought of it surely? and i would think that there is a lot more to being bisexual than just sex? wouldn't a bisexual person be able to or want to fall in love with a person from the same sex if they were truely bisexual?
or is someone who likes to have sex either ina 2some or 3some with someone of the same sex bisexual too?
so bisexuality - love or just sex?
lots of girls and women admit to being turned on by lesbian scenes in porn films etc but this may be because of the psychological term 'projection' -because we know what it feels like and can relate to it.
actually being with a woman and then wanting to do it again is so different from merely being turned on by the thought of it surely? and i would think that there is a lot more to being bisexual than just sex? wouldn't a bisexual person be able to or want to fall in love with a person from the same sex if they were truely bisexual?
or is someone who likes to have sex either ina 2some or 3some with someone of the same sex bisexual too?
so bisexuality - love or just sex?
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i am genuinely intrigued.
Its partly to do with reactions from men as well. bisexuals and lipstick lesbians are seen as fine, but people are still threatened by the idea of butch lesbians, because theres nothing in it for men.
I agree.
I don't think being turned on by the thought of same-sex activities necessarily makes you bisexual. If you were to sleep with someone of your own sex and enjoy it just as much, that would be a far clearer indicator.
It's kind of the same with fetishes. The thought of something may turn you on, but the reality is far different.
So to me being bi is just sex, but can be love as well, just not for me.
I don't think you need to have sex with a lot of both men and women before you know that you feel for them both. That's like saying that before you have sex with a member of the opposite sex, you don't know whether you're gay or you're straight. However, I guess as with going in to any relationship, you have to know what you want from it else you could end up hurting somebody.
I think some bisexual people do lean towards one sex, other's kind of float about, some people are sexually active, some in relationships and others are celibate.
As for the lust/love arguement, it depends on your personal belief about what "love" is and whether it even exists.
As I said, the last thing i want is to fall in love with a woman and for reasons given above so won't risk getting into a rel with a female. Since I am attracted to both males and females and enjoy sex with both then surely no one can argue with the fact that I'm bi.
There's times when i wouldn't want a rel with anyone at all...like before I got with my current fella, but just cos I wanted to stay single does that mean I had no sexual tendencies at that time?
I'm not a particularly maternal person, and I don't see that changing... so the issue of children doesn't really exist for me. If my partner desperately wanted a sprog we could adopt :chin: .
Another forum i dont often post in but heres my opinion.
I agree with moonrat on this. Bisexuality is both physical and mental, the physical effects of being attracted to someone and the mental effects of wanting a relationship and of the surging felings of making love etc.
Both. But its on a totally different level to that. Its not a case of you want to be licked out by a girl therefore your bi, or you kissed your best mate when drunk. It's about who you are as a person and yes that does include who you are sexually. I've heard so many people say you can't be bi unless you've had experiences with both sexes. Who says so? Theres no definitive guide to being bi, it's just something it takes a very long time to come to terms with, at least it did for me! Besides you don't question the sexuality of a virgin when they say they're straight do you? Well you can think of me as a bisexual virgin, i don't have to prove it to anyone. I know who i am. Yes i've had some experiences with women and after many, many years i've come to accept this side of me. The term for this btw is "latent bisexual". You can be damned sure though that if i weren't with Nick (and very happily too) i'd be looking for that special someone to be my first gf. :flirt:
Some do. Check out the kinsey scale, though really not very accurate, i'd say if there were one i'd be a 2.5 on there.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A570098
Personally I've considered joined the LGBT group in university, but I don't want the same prejudice that I've experienced from home (if I can sneak out without my flatmates knowing lol). It almost seems like bisexual people are not protected as much by political correctness as homosexual people.
But yeah, I disagree about this article saying that bisexuals are accepted by the 'gay scene'. The straight scene at least for women it's like... I dunno, maybe a fashion thing? or something for men to watch and enjoy.
*nod*
I've seen quite a few threads on a certain lesbian message board shunning bisexual women. I think it's all about others' boundaries and views...just the same as a portion of the LGBT community enjoys Mardi Gras, and another portion [mainly the extremists] shun it.
See how the oppressed can become the oppresser.