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bisexuality - love or just sex?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
i wanted to make a thread about this after reading something that aimz said in another thread. that because she likes the idea of being licked out by a woman she is therefore bisexual.

lots of girls and women admit to being turned on by lesbian scenes in porn films etc but this may be because of the psychological term 'projection' -because we know what it feels like and can relate to it.

actually being with a woman and then wanting to do it again is so different from merely being turned on by the thought of it surely? and i would think that there is a lot more to being bisexual than just sex? wouldn't a bisexual person be able to or want to fall in love with a person from the same sex if they were truely bisexual?

or is someone who likes to have sex either ina 2some or 3some with someone of the same sex bisexual too?

so bisexuality - love or just sex?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Both, just the same has hetero/homo sexuality can be love or just sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    don't bisexuals usually sway to 1 more than the other? Normally you hear of bisexual women who have relationships with men but still like women - and how come there seem to be more bisexual women than men?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think if the idea of gay sex or a gay relationship turns you on, then youve obviously got bisexual tendencies. Whether that makes you actually bisexual is another thing, but then again, its not ome special club where you have to be a certain amount of gay before you can join.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think if the idea of gay sex or a gay relationship turns you on, then youve obviously got bisexual tendencies. Whether that makes you actually bisexual is another thing, but then again, its not ome special club where you have to be a certain amount of gay before you can join.
    but you know for example, a woman in a porn film who does lesbian scenes, does that make her bisexual?

    i am genuinely intrigued.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    and how come there seem to be more bisexual women than men?
    because its more socially acceptable for women to admit. I think theres plenty of bisexual men but they wouldnt even admit it to themselves because they dont get the same positive reactions that bisexual women do.
    Its partly to do with reactions from men as well. bisexuals and lipstick lesbians are seen as fine, but people are still threatened by the idea of butch lesbians, because theres nothing in it for men.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Both, just the same has hetero/homo sexuality can be love or just sex.

    I agree.

    I don't think being turned on by the thought of same-sex activities necessarily makes you bisexual. If you were to sleep with someone of your own sex and enjoy it just as much, that would be a far clearer indicator.

    It's kind of the same with fetishes. The thought of something may turn you on, but the reality is far different.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To me I'm bi, have had sex with women but i'd never actually get in a relationship with another woman. Mainly because I want children that are half me and half my partner, and I believe that if you start a rel with someone you always have the potential to fall in love with them and that isn't what i want with another woman.

    So to me being bi is just sex, but can be love as well, just not for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A bisexual person has the ability to be sexually and/or emotionally attracted to both sexes... Personally I see more of a spectrum rather than a definitive bisexual archetype. There's no real "bisexual behaviour" model either.

    I don't think you need to have sex with a lot of both men and women before you know that you feel for them both. That's like saying that before you have sex with a member of the opposite sex, you don't know whether you're gay or you're straight. However, I guess as with going in to any relationship, you have to know what you want from it else you could end up hurting somebody.

    I think some bisexual people do lean towards one sex, other's kind of float about, some people are sexually active, some in relationships and others are celibate.

    As for the lust/love arguement, it depends on your personal belief about what "love" is and whether it even exists. :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sometimes yeh, i might be turned on by watching a lesbian scene in a porno (not that i watch them [i really don't], but that kinda thing) but i certainly wouldn't say it meant i was bisexual. just curious i guess. Kazbo, how can you say you're bisexual but wouldn't enter into a relationship wiht a woman?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sometimes yeh, i might be turned on by watching a lesbian scene in a porno (not that i watch them [i really don't], but that kinda thing) but i certainly wouldn't say it meant i was bisexual. just curious i guess. Kazbo, how can you say you're bisexual but wouldn't enter into a relationship wiht a woman?
    How could somebody say they're straight and not want a relationship at all?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sometimes yeh, i might be turned on by watching a lesbian scene in a porno (not that i watch them [i really don't], but that kinda thing) but i certainly wouldn't say it meant i was bisexual. just curious i guess. Kazbo, how can you say you're bisexual but wouldn't enter into a relationship wiht a woman?


    As I said, the last thing i want is to fall in love with a woman and for reasons given above so won't risk getting into a rel with a female. Since I am attracted to both males and females and enjoy sex with both then surely no one can argue with the fact that I'm bi.

    There's times when i wouldn't want a rel with anyone at all...like before I got with my current fella, but just cos I wanted to stay single does that mean I had no sexual tendencies at that time?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm with Kazbo, i'm bi as i find both sexes attractive and enjoy sex with both sexes however i could never see myself in a relationship with another guy, mainly for reasons like Kazbo, i want children that are part me, part my partner. So bi can be just sex, it is for me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've had relationships with both sexes. So it's love and sex for me. :yippe:

    I'm not a particularly maternal person, and I don't see that changing... so the issue of children doesn't really exist for me. If my partner desperately wanted a sprog we could adopt :chin: .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A bisexual person has the ability to be sexually and/or emotionally attracted to both sexes...

    Another forum i dont often post in but heres my opinion.

    I agree with moonrat on this. Bisexuality is both physical and mental, the physical effects of being attracted to someone and the mental effects of wanting a relationship and of the surging felings of making love etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote:
    so bisexuality - love or just sex?


    Both. But its on a totally different level to that. Its not a case of you want to be licked out by a girl therefore your bi, or you kissed your best mate when drunk. It's about who you are as a person and yes that does include who you are sexually. I've heard so many people say you can't be bi unless you've had experiences with both sexes. Who says so? Theres no definitive guide to being bi, it's just something it takes a very long time to come to terms with, at least it did for me! Besides you don't question the sexuality of a virgin when they say they're straight do you? Well you can think of me as a bisexual virgin, i don't have to prove it to anyone. I know who i am. Yes i've had some experiences with women and after many, many years i've come to accept this side of me. The term for this btw is "latent bisexual". You can be damned sure though that if i weren't with Nick (and very happily too) i'd be looking for that special someone to be my first gf. :flirt:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    don't bisexuals usually sway to 1 more than the other? Normally you hear of bisexual women who have relationships with men but still like women


    Some do. Check out the kinsey scale, though really not very accurate, i'd say if there were one i'd be a 2.5 on there.
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A570098
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This page I found by following a link from Satehen's page and it's very interesting. To be honest I've experienced far more discrimination from the gay communities than the 'straight' communities... In that they want you to pick a team, or think you're confused and the majority of lesbians I've met have said they'd never go out with a bisexual woman (if they even believe it exists)... However not all gay people are like that.

    Personally I've considered joined the LGBT group in university, but I don't want the same prejudice that I've experienced from home (if I can sneak out without my flatmates knowing lol). It almost seems like bisexual people are not protected as much by political correctness as homosexual people.

    But yeah, I disagree about this article saying that bisexuals are accepted by the 'gay scene'. The straight scene at least for women it's like... I dunno, maybe a fashion thing? or something for men to watch and enjoy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1 of my friends came out as bi a bit back....i don't know if its just physical attraction or both or what, aparrantly she got close to another bi girl online and stuff, but personally i think it would be more difficult to determine you're bi than gay
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest I've experienced far more discrimination from the gay communities than the 'straight' communities... In that they want you to pick a team, or think you're confused and the majority of lesbians I've met have said they'd never go out with a bisexual woman (if they even believe it exists)... However not all gay people are like that.

    But yeah, I disagree about this article saying that bisexuals are accepted by the 'gay scene'.

    *nod*

    I've seen quite a few threads on a certain lesbian message board shunning bisexual women. I think it's all about others' boundaries and views...just the same as a portion of the LGBT community enjoys Mardi Gras, and another portion [mainly the extremists] shun it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *nod*

    I've seen quite a few threads on a certain lesbian message board shunning bisexual women. I think it's all about others' boundaries and views...just the same as a portion of the LGBT community enjoys Mardi Gras, and another portion [mainly the extremists] shun it.
    Yup... In my experience the people who have issues with bisexual women sometimes also have issues with men, or feel discriminated against by society...

    See how the oppressed can become the oppresser.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think biseuaality truely excists, as there no tedhnical definition. I do believe You can may tend to go towards 1 more than the other, I no of a few bi-sexuals who lean equally to each side. No real set peramiters, it's what You believe & feel. I think I see some very interesting responses. One thing is for sure with out a doubt, female bisexuality is more socially, some what expected. As for bi-males, not as acceptable. Double standard?
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