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First time after a being in a relationship...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I recently finished with my boyfriend after nearly 2 yrs together, and I know I'm definitely not ready to be with someone else yet on any level, but it is fairly inevitable that there will be someone else one day (God I hope so at least!)

We split for lots of reasons but one being I felt I hadn't experimented enough with other people, both in terms of being in a relationship and in terms of sex (he was the first and only person I have slept with and my only serious relationship).

I was just wondering how people found it, pulling someone for the first time after breaking up, or sleeping with their "2nd person" or even just the first person after coming out of a relationship?

I'm terrified of being on the pull, it seems so long ago since I last went out and didn't just give evil looks to any bloke who looked at me!

Did you feel you wanted to sleep with someone else and get it out of the way or did you wait until a new relationship came along?

Did you go mad and pull loads of people just because you could or was it all too much of a shock?

I just don't really know where I will go from here!

Ta :thumb:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i feel a bit the same. i've just split up with my first boyfriend and not sure when i'll feel ready to 'move on'. i don't think there's really a certain length of time when you should be ready, it's just when it feels right.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I split with my first boyfriend (partly due to his reluctance to want to be each other's "first") I pulled first out of the two. What followed was a year long bender in which I turned into, basically a slag and slept with 3 people within 6 months before meeting my current boyfriend who made me want to become in a relationship again.

    For your own dignity and self respect I would urge anyone just out of a long term relationship to take it easy and not to go crazy when on a night out.

    Just hurts you in the long run. Take your time and ease yourself back into dating would be my advice
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    3 people in 6 months isnt an obscene amount, I wouldnt call it slaggy at all.
    I did a similar thing when I came out of my first proper relationship, slept with lots and lots of people in a short space of time, but this time I dont think ill be doing that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya,

    Just go with the flow, I guess. I was with my bf for like just over a year and we broke it off and for six months I was "free". I just went out and dated, and did what I felt was right for me. Some people go mad and have loads of sexual relationships, and others have the odd one and date loads. Just do what you feel is right. U may meet someone and find you are sexually attracted to them and want to sleep with them. Equally, you may meet someone and decide you just want to go out and date, so its whatever you feel really.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its true...do what feels right for yourself. Since coming out of my relationship ive gone in for a few flings and dated a couple of people, but i dont want to get into another relationship quite yet! Whatever you do/dont do it doesnt matter.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I recently split up with my boyfriend of 3 years, then we kinda got back together, and then i realised it just wasn't right anymore and we split up on tuesday... i was kind of feeling the same as you are right now, i was very unsure about how i would feel meeting someone new or sleeping with someone new (as he too was the only bloke i had had a proper relationship with and slept with), so i decided i 100% wasnt gonna go on the pull or look for anything else for quite a while... and then thursday night i ended up hooking up with someone i work with.... and i realised that i was worrying about nothing at all!! its natural to question how you are going to feel etc, but so long as you make sure you don't do anything until you are totally ready, and you dont stress about it too much, then im sure you will be fine as it will all come naturally! good luck chick x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I split up with my girlfriend of a year about 6-7 months ago..
    I dno what I did..avoided her at all costs really! I went on the pull now and again..pulling people didn't ease the pain..only made it harder for me..
    bout 2 months after breaking up I saw her in the pub I was in..she came over started speaking to me about the person that she liked and stuff and pulled him right infront of me..
    I dragged her out of the pub, shouted abuse at her for 5-10 minutes..i tried explaining i wasn't ready to be mates on that sorta level ( talking bout relationships ) and she went crazy at me..and it all kinda turned on her as she got verbal abuse not just from me but from her mates aswell as they said it was out of order..she now basically has no friends and no boys that like her..but meh
    The best thing to do is wait until you're ready to pull..go out with your mates and just see what happens ;)! Good luck!
    Jez
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