If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Some friendship advice please
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have an online friend who i have known for well over 2 years now. Over the years we got to know each other very well, to know lots about one another, we got to know each othe rlike we would in real life. She means the absolute world to me and i'd do anything for her but recently, going back as far as last month in fact, she has stopped talking to / with me. At first i thought it was just myself that she did not want to talk to and i started taking it personally but eventually because i kept on trying to talk to her online i got a reply in which she said it was everyone she didnt want to talk to and not just me, which at first i thought " well fine ok " but after a while i startied thinking about it and well the thing is part of me feels i don't believe this and that i still think it is just me she doesnt want to talk to.
I want to talk to her and find out how she is and just have her and me back to how we were before but i basically get told to fuck off, which isnt very pleasent, now i know the best advice is probably going to be " just leave her to it and when she wants to talk to you she will " but i don't feel i can leave it, i want to know whats going on and why she doesnt want to talk to me / everyone. I'd say we were very close friends at a point in time but obviously not anymore. I know i should respect that she doesn't want to talk but I'm not the kind of person who can sit back and forget things like this in these kind of situations, i need to know what is going on and why and try to resolve it. Does that make sense?
Is their any other advice anyone can give me because this keeps playing on my mind and like i said she means the world to me i don't want to lose her friendship because it means so much to me.
Listen to me rambling, i'm tired. Thanks for any advice in advance.
Rich
I want to talk to her and find out how she is and just have her and me back to how we were before but i basically get told to fuck off, which isnt very pleasent, now i know the best advice is probably going to be " just leave her to it and when she wants to talk to you she will " but i don't feel i can leave it, i want to know whats going on and why she doesnt want to talk to me / everyone. I'd say we were very close friends at a point in time but obviously not anymore. I know i should respect that she doesn't want to talk but I'm not the kind of person who can sit back and forget things like this in these kind of situations, i need to know what is going on and why and try to resolve it. Does that make sense?
Is their any other advice anyone can give me because this keeps playing on my mind and like i said she means the world to me i don't want to lose her friendship because it means so much to me.
Listen to me rambling, i'm tired. Thanks for any advice in advance.
Rich
0
Comments
if she doesn't want to talk to anyone (lets just assume she's telling the truth) she obviously has some things she needs to work out for herself. if you constantly go against her wishes and try to sort it out for her, you'll probably just piss her off.
if it were me, i'd email/text/whatever once more, and just put something like: if you need my help, you know where i am. if you just need time, you know where i am. then leave her to it.
i know that's not what you wanted to hear, but you can't force friendship anymore than you can force a relationship.
Whether you believe it or not is largely irrelevant. It's what she has said, and you need to respect it if you want to progress anywhere.
Continually pestering the girl to talk to you is only going to make her get more defensive.
If she wants to resume your friendship, then it will be in her own time and, frankly, there's nothing you can do about it.
So i agree with everyone else, just let her know you're there and step back.
I'm not sure if i should send one more text saying " if you need my help, you know where i am. if you just need time, you know where i am " I'm just afraid i'll get the same reply as last time and make it worse.
Thank you again for the advice.