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Necesito una poca de ayuda...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Could any native/good spanish speaker perhaps help me with lexis and grammar structure etc in the poem? It was one that i've written in English and have jus popped into freetranslation.com to translate into spanish, I've not looked at it myself yet but I will do and am going to end up changing it, but if someone could just correct the grammar and vocab for me that'd be great!
Here's the one in English first:
and the freetranslation.com spanish version:
Here's the one in English first:
Tearing away your daemon
It tore away your soul
To lose your little sister
The one who loved you so much.
Your life-long friend and companion,
Ripped, taken, leaving only you.
Your special bond with your daemon,
Severed and cut,
Yet each retains some connection.
Remembering each other.
Nobody could close the daemons place,
Yet others come close,
Never close enough.
She’s always there
Your guardian angel in death,
As much as in life.
You may not know it but she is.
Sometimes you think things,
Things that make her sorrowful,
But as your daemon she’ll always come back
You couldn’t even wish her away
Yet still, they tore away your daemon,
It was a harsh break,
A harsh time, harshly done.
Yet be consoled, she is always with you,
You know that.
and the freetranslation.com spanish version:
Romper lejos su demonio
Rompió lejos su alma
Para perder a su hermana pequeña
El que le adoró tanto.
Su amigo y el compañero de toda la vida,
Rasgado, tomado, saliendo sólo usted.
Su bono especial con su demonio,
Cortado y cortó,
Mas cada retiene alguna conexión.
Recordar uno al otro.
Nadie podría cerrar el lugar de demonios,
Mas los otros vienen cerca,
Nunca cierre bastante
Ella es siempre allí
Su ángel custodio en la muerte,
Tanto como en vida.
Usted no lo puede saber pero ella es.
A veces usted piensa las cosas,
Las cosas que hacen su dolorosa,
Pero cuando su demonio que ella siempre regresará
Usted puede ni la desea lejos
Mas todavía, ellos rompieron lejos su demonio,
Era una interrupción dura,
Un tiempo duro, duramente hecho.
Mas sea consolado, ella es siempre con usted,
Usted sabe eso.
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
From Google Language Tools :thumb:
Also:
Su amigo y el compañero de toda la vida,
Rasgado, tomado, saliendo sólo usted.
No no no
Su amigo y el companero de toda la vida (perfect)
But the 2nd part - saliendo solo usted - this does not mean Ripped, taken, leaving only you. It means ripped taken (only you going out!) salir - to go out in Spaish.
Better is Ripped, taken, leaving only you. tomado also wrong now I come to think of it as tomar is in relation to food toma una manzana - take/have an apple. Tomamos la cena - we have dinner
Options - rasgado, robado, sacando solamente ti (right slanted accent on i)
This means Ripped, robbed extracting only you. Literal but robar has the senzse of snatch. Can't remember snatch rigt now in Spanish but use whatever that verb is - end it in 'o'
Other alternative - Rasgado, robado, quitandote solo (also good) Ripped, robbed, leaving you alone.
Let me know what you think of these suggestions. This really has to be broken down sentence..Spanish is a rich langauage and just changing from polite to familiar can alter meaning.
Why?
And thanks Mazza too- it wasn't me who translated it, but i was having a bit of a stress with all my spanish earlier so jus thought i'd get it basically translated then actually go through it with the meanings. jus to explain a few things:
when i say daemons i mean like a companion- i wrote this after having ]read the His Dark Materials series. The reason i wanted it translated is because one of the tasks i have to do for my portofolio at leeds uni is related to poetry by Eloy Sanchez Rosillo and we then had to write our own. the style in that poem above is similar to how Rosillo writes, so i thought rather than write a new one- which would take too much brain power at the moment- i'd simply translate that and change it a wee bit.
it was freetranslation that used the usted bit, ive taken most of it out! however, the little sister i'm talking about in the poem isn't a five year old, but a 35 year old who i didnt know. but was still my sister.
so demonio is not close to the right word at all? i'll have to check that in the morning, and if you could get back to me on that too it'd be a great help. here's the updated version:
also i knew that it was un poco de ayuda really but then i'd just been going on about adjectival agreements so...
can i try and explain for franki.... is the reason that it's un poco de ayuda is because we're focussing on a little bit of, not the help part?
Piccolo has more or less got it in a nutshell. There are lots of Spanish phrases like this un poco de ( masc).....una falta de (a lack of - feminine) is another one. Bit braindead at mo...too early. It's like French une bouchee de (feminine) some of these are set masculineleaning phrases and some feminine leaning. If you think about un poco meaning a few, a little is a1 masculine/noun concept and una falta - a lack of (need for!) is a feminine one so in their set phrases they stay in their assigned gender. BUT franki if you see them in a sentence like:
There's only a few people at this party:
Hay poca gente en esta fiesta 'masc poco' is suddenly agreeing with feminine word gente for people, so in the case of poco, it is really dual gender taking on masc/feminine attribute according to sentence structure and word order, but the phrase 'a little of' will always have a masc singular set up in a sentence with 'un poco de' in it as will a mouthful always been feminine ad infinitum in French une bouchee de. I'm sure this is still foggy, for teh best explanation to date see piccolo.
Also, Queenmab, when is your deadline and so I get a clearer understanding what degree are you doing - English Lit/Spanish, Spanish? other. Also teh daemons one, ok this is hard...ok I have just looked it up in the ox dic and it says: the guardian spirit of a person or place (daemon/daimon) You said companion well that's easy 'companero' but I don't think that's right ...we're looking more 'angel' here as you know angel (with an accent somewhere I think.) I'm afraid guardian angel I dunno in Spanish ...never had to use it. Let me know what systran says, but go for the gusrdian angel option...let me know when you need to get it in etc. I'll read your 2nd version.
ooh while we're here, im not very good on idioms in spanish, have you any idea how to translate "breathe a sigh of relief" into spanish? and any good places to learn idioms from?
In the books by Philip Pullman "daemon" was essentially used to define a part of the human soul than can be termed a "guardian angel". Possibly. I always understood daemon to refer to part of the soul, something that "companion" could not possibly do justice to, and something that guardian angel doesn't completely cover.
Hope u enjoyed Europe.
the oral went ok :S bit nervewracking tho!
i asked for a bit of help with a poem translation into spanish for a project i had to do for uni, we;re now discussing a point from that as to how you'd translate the concept of "daemon" that Philip Pullman introduces in the His Dark Materials series.