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I need some advice
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i'm a male thats had straight relationships but i've got friendly with a 17yr old lad and my feelings have made me very confused.We get on really well but I am now finding myself really attracted to him sexually.I think about him all the time but don't know if I should tell him how I feel. He hasn't got a girlfriend but i don't know if he's gay/bi. I don't know what to do. Any advice?
[This message has been edited by bitbi? (edited 22-12-2000).]
[This message has been edited by bitbi? (edited 22-12-2000).]
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Maybe you like him as a very good friend and enjoy his company! Your hormones are all over the place at the mo! Like J9 said, when we get to know you a bit better we can help more.
Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people
Hope this helps.
DM
Viti kuin muuri.
Like J9 has said, take it easy for a while.
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The only thing I could add is a previous experienc, due to circumstances I found myself seriously questioning my sexuality, and falling for a very very close and good personal friend. We ended up spending every moment together in the summer of 97, we did everything together, went everywhere, then one day we were frollicking around a local field, I decided to make a move and tried to slip him a kiss. He rolled away and walked off and out of my life. Russ will never forgive me, and I regret it.
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I would only say take time and be careful, you could gain a love interest, but also loose a friend. think long and hard about this.
Take care and good luck
Luka
The river is wide and oh so deep. I've been walking around in tears, No answers arethere to get. Cause between this world and eternity there is a face I hope to see
how old are you, and what got you together in the first place?
Hom long have you been feeling the sexual attraction?
My best guess on the VERY limited info is that it's just a crush.
I'd go with caution at the moment, and try to work out just what it is you feel towards him.
It could be that you have a very close `adult' friendship, that you've only experienced with girlfriends, and you are associating sex with that feeling.
who knows?.
(you could always submit his address to one of the secret admirer web sites...)
The closest I got to anything like this was when I was mucking about with a friend. We were on her bed, and she went to tickle me, but got me between the legs. It was the kind of cack handed thing she'd do, so I knew it hadn't been on purpose, but it put the damper on that afternoons fun. which is, to an extent, true about any friendship you want to take further.
Makes the lads moan - "she said she didn't want to loose me as a friend, they only ever goo for the b'tards" etc. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif">
love and peace xxx
i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.
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I wasn't at all clear. I wasn't intending to judge LUKA, only his action. Any uninvited intimate contact with me would result in an agressive defence. My example was where the "offender" was female, so yes. Also, I almost punched a nurse at a GUM clinic - I'd escaped into a daydream and wasn't expecting to be touched - but that is a whole other story.
the rest was pretty much along the same lines as my advice, so of course I agree <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">
[This message has been edited by Carriage Return (edited 15-12-2000).]
And that he had these sort of feelings for a close friend does not make me think that he is gay or bi or anything.
leave it for a while and see what happens. Whatever happens will happen.
But just don't mess things up yet now with your friend...it's too risky losing a friendship over some mixed feelings you're not even sure about now.
Ok I know what u'all gonna say to this, but I have bigtime alarm bells in my head on this one.
When then, can we as a collective help, if you post your situation up the comunity I'm sure can offer you some quality advice. We are quite good at that and we don't bite, well not that hard (we are a rabies free society here <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> )after all a problem shared is a problem halved.
We do worry on occasions when a first post is vague and suggests private meetings, I'm sure you're intentions are honourable, why not give us a chance to see if we can help. BitBi I'm sure is not the only one who's at somestage in their life felt the way he's described. If you want us to give as much support and advice as possible, give a post with outlines of what's troubling you and we'll be happy to help, right guys ???.
A post like this highlights the benefit of the need for a real time chat room. Dom any chance, I personally garantee an RTC room won't be detrimental to the message boards, (bold statement I know, but hey I'm rarely wrong, maybe once a lifetime).
good luck when look forward to being able to offer what advice I can and I know the rest feel the same.
Luka
The river is wide and oh so deep. I've been walking around in tears, No answers arethere to get. Cause between this world and eternity there is a face I hope to see
Thanks again.
ps 'When Then' we could meet on UKChat. Just let me know when and i'll try and be there.
[This message has been edited by bitbi? (edited 08-01-2001).]