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help me help my mate please
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My best mate has just left home and movd in wiv her big bro after massive problems with her dad.
It really shook her up (what he did 2 her sexually) and now the only way she seems to block it out is using drugs. it startd off with dope but now shes poppin pills and takin coke.
im really worried bout her as she wont get proffessional help.
can ne1 give me sum advice or facts that might scare her in2 stoppin
thank u xx
It really shook her up (what he did 2 her sexually) and now the only way she seems to block it out is using drugs. it startd off with dope but now shes poppin pills and takin coke.
im really worried bout her as she wont get proffessional help.
can ne1 give me sum advice or facts that might scare her in2 stoppin
thank u xx
0
Comments
Just be a friend to her and help her along with her problems.
Is she using pills and coke everyday or just the odd time?
slow down ...your going to fast.
she won't be wanting help at the mo.
she hasn't asked anybody for any help.
she's getting out of it for all the wrong reasons.
be worried.
keep your nose out but always somehow have an ear to the door.
be there for her ...and that may well mean being there to be used and abused but ...
so far she's only smoking a stonka and popping some pills ...it aint the end of the world.
they reckon after lots of research that only between 5 and 10 % of all drug users ever develop a problem.
thats about the same for booze i think.
keeping checking back here for advice ...some experienced people here.
Morrocanroll - Thanks for your advice as well. Sorry if i was rushing into it im just really worried about her. Shes started skipping school and shes letting her dream of being an artist just buggering off out the door.
Sorry again if im rushing things xx
thank you so much for your help any more advice (anyone) would be good please xx
By the way zippy, what age is she?
Hope everything turns out ok and keep coming back here and let us know how everything is turning out.
Good luck.
the bad news ...she has some kind of artistic/creative kind of personality ... one of the kinds of people who can maybe more easily become consumed ...by passion ...by colour ...by light ...by emotion.
i'd say grass her up to her parents but they sound like complete twats.
her brother the same as her?
From what you have said here, it could be that your friend's drug use stems from what has happened with her father. Has she spoken to anyone else about this, or seen anyone for counselling at all?
If you want to approach your friend about the abuse, and my advice would be to do just that, you will want information. You might find the following pages from theSite useful; you may even want to show them to your friend.
This page has information on victim support, and articles on Coming to Terms with Abuse and Surviving Sexual Assault. There are links to websites and helplines on the bottom left hand side of the articles, to organisations who can offer support.
Perhaps the best way to deal with your friends drug abuse is to encourage her to deal with the sexual abuse she suffered, but it is her choice, all you can do is offer support and advice when she will take it, and be a friend to her. Remember to take care of yourself, too.
LadyJade is right in that its highly likely that the drug use stems from the early problems.
For help with the drug issue Release are good at www.release.org.uk
i think now i understand a bit more about how i can help her so i feel more confident in being able to approach her about it.
Thank you soo soo soo soo much to every1 that has offered help. Ur all stars!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hehe, just don't go up and start shouting at her, be reasonable and understanding, take things into perspective, if both of you'se are willing to make it work then it will.
i can breathe again now!!! im so nervous!!
thank you
All i meant was not to be going up to her shouting "don't be doing drugs, it's bad for you, blah blah blah", that's the last thing she'll want to hear and certainly won't take the advice on board.
Hmm i might just mention that one!!
Good luck.
you can go on to explain that the people here actualy seem sane and reasonably sensible ...that your not worried as much now but you are still concerned.
show her and ask her if she thinks we are talking crap ...haven't a clue ...have judged wrongly etc.
few people bother with replies such as ...just say no kids!
we know it doesn't work amongst other things.
there are many reasons why many differing people take the array of substances that they do.
most people being fine in both the long and short terms but ...there are dangers as with tobacco and alcohol ...and getting out of bed of a morning.
nice honest people on the whole in here.
people will be straight with you.
more often than not ...when we get things wrong ...someone will point it out a heated discussion may well follow or ...piss off dick!
you know the kind of thing ...
enjoy and learn.
heres to your friend being ok.
there definately is a sense of community and understanding within the drug circle, we know what the craic is and we're all to willing ot educate people if they want it, we're not all back alley scroungers who need a fix you know, decent, hardworking honest people, better than most i reckon.
If your friend is taking coke every day like you say she is she's on track for addiction...coke addiction at 16 isn't going to be enviable. How does she afford it?? How much does she go through a week?? That kind of escapism will lead deffo lead to addiction.
Your best bet is to sign her up on here, get advice from people who know the scene. People with no knowledge from personal experience aren't going to convince any user to cut down....it's something best coming from the horse's mouth.