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Going to uni with a mate

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
Has anybody done this? What were your experiences?

I'm thinking of going to uni with my best mate next year but I'm worried that we are going to drift apart. :(
Post edited by JustV on

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    many people find when they go to university they want to change completely, and many may just change as a result of the totally different situation they are in. two friends of mine both started at bristol, and found it better not to spend too much time with each other as it would isolate them from everyone else. if you go with someone, you are more likely to spend time with them rather than go out and try to meet new people. unless you are in different halls of course
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't worry about it. Even if by the end of your year you're no longer the best of friends you'll probably still remain folk who can call each other up for a drink etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The likelyhood is that we will be in different halls but in our second and third years we had thought about living in the same flat as eachother.

    I don't think isolating ourselves would be not too much of a problem - we'd go out together and make friends together. Well, that's what I'll hope will happen.

    I don't currently have any friends other than him. He is more important to me than even my family.

    [Edited @ 1642. Changes in bold]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had hardly any friends when I started uni. The only person I really used to spend time with was my boyfriend, but I couldn't take him with me...

    Starting at university away from everyone and everything you know is a good opportunity for you to get to know more people other than him. Stay in contact, yes-phone, text, email, meet up. I personally think that you should go where you want to go to university, and not let what someone else is doing or wants to do dictate what you do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When going to uni with a mate there is a risk that during the first week when no-one knows anyone else and everyone is nervously trying to talk to everyone else that you will stick with your mate more and wont meet as many people.
    Living in different halls and doing different courses will probably ensure this doesnt become a problem.
    On the positive side hopefully youll both meet lots of people and make a huge group of friends.
    But dont just go to a uni cos your mate is, go because you want to go there.
    Gook luck with it all.:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally wouldn't have thought it would be a good idea. Having just started uni it is so much easier to talk to people who are in the same situation as you, ie. on their own and not knowing anyone else. The girl who was staying next to me temporarily for the first week had a couple of her friends staying in the same hall, and it seemed like they were always hanging round together and if you wanted to talk to one of them you had to talk to all three of them. It can be intimidating for many people to approach two people who already know each other really well, as close friends have a habit of talking about people/experiences that you don't know about and weren't there for.

    I think having a friend there may actually be more of an isolating experience, as people are more likely not to make the effort to come and talk to you if they get the impression you already have a close friend and aren't interested in meeting anyone else. I know this may not necessarily be true, but it is very easy for people to get that impression of you.

    Because the first week can be scary, you may find you are more inclined to hang around with your mate most of the time. Because of this, although the two of you may meet other people, you may find you are treated less like an individual and more like a pair of people - it might be more difficult to make new friends for yourself because people see you as part of a pair.

    I'm just being cynical though, it might turn out to be great for you. I think perhaps in your first year though it would be a better idea to stay in different halls, that way you're more likely to socialise with other people and make new friends, then you can meet up with your mate at different times rather than having them there on every occasion.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went to uni a few years ago with my mate. I decided to go with her because I didn't want to go to uni alone. I never got to see her cos 1) we were on different campuses, 2) she worked, 3) she had a boyfriend and made lots of mates in her halls of residance 4) i made lots of mates in mine and 5) we were doing different subjects.

    I thought i was going to be with her all the time like we were in college. It never happened.

    There's nothing wrong with going uni with your mate, but trust me, u will hardly see him/her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you all for your replies so far, they've been quite helpful.

    After reading them, I still think it would be good to go with my mate. I think what we need to do is sit down and have a good chat so that we can take precautions to not isolate ourselves from the new people around us but not loose our friendship. It may be difficult to do, but if we're careful, we should be able to have the best of both.

    We hardly see eachother right now because he lives 40 miles away from me and yet we still maintain a good friendship. We'll actually probably get to see more of eachother at uni as we will be much closer together.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm in my first year and have ended up living in a house with one of my best mates from home. I was originally sceptical 'cause sometimes you can spend too much time with someone but we're doing okay so far. You can only give it a go.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, a good story! Cool :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Only time will tell whether it works for me, we're still in the first few weeks. It might be a bit hard when we start to make our own new friends and go out doing different things. You'll have to be prepared for that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm quite used to my mate doing his own thing with other friends. Let me know how things work out for you...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ben.s
    I'm quite used to my mate doing his own thing with other friends. Let me know how things work out for you...

    Which Uni you wanting to go to?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We've been looking at Liverpool JMU
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