If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
manual
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I need a relationships manual!!!!
sorry, just feeling really down.
sorry, just feeling really down.
0
Comments
Well, I am very, very annoyed because i just can't get a gf. To me it's not just a matter of getting a girl, and i'm not the type of "any girl will do". I want it to mean more. When i meet a girl i really like, we always end up as friends. That's because i'm trying to be myself, and i suceed at that. Just being myself, that is as nice and polite as possible brings me a lot of female friends. I know it's nice in the long run and stuff, but when you have a crush with a girl, you really don't want her to be just friends with you, right? Right.
Well, does anyone know how not to cross the friendship line, while staying nice, polite, and not making anyone feel uncomfortable? I guess that's what i meant by "I need a relationships manual". There's one more thing, that was unanswered in one of my previous posts, and that is:
You need to be confident in order for the girl to like you, but can't be confident unless you're experienced. Especially if you've been turned down a couple of times before...
Sorry for a long post, i'm just feeling like a piece of shit :rolleyes:
you seem like a nice guy, so when you go out with a girl, be yourself, do be nice, courtious, freindly... but the difficult part is being flirty without being pushy.
be yourself, but don't try, just do
relax, tell the girl you had a really nice time with her, and would she like to go with you to dinner/a movie/a walk/ice skating, whatever, just something where there's the two of you, and no pressure from other freinds and the like.
patience is a virtue, and good freinds are hard to come by- cherish your freinds, and know that the right gf for you is out there, looking for you
If you want to make sure you don't just become friends with a girl, don't just set your stall out to be friends. Even from quite early on hint that there is something more that you want with her- flirt with her shamelessly, make sure you compliment her as a sexual being not just as a friend. If you become too good friends without there being a sexual chemistry that's obvious you will remain friends and nothing more.
"but the difficult part is being flirty without being pushy."
Exactly my point there. I don't want to be pushy. I don't consider myself to be a shy guy, but i sure don't like to be in the middle of action, if you know what i mean. One more thing: I usually start feeling things for a girl after i really get to know her well, and that is in order of about three months. I'm one of the rare cases to whom it's the personality that REALLY, REALLY matters. I don't even get a crush on a girl if i don't really know her personality to bits. By that time, she's too friendly to me, and being more than friends is out of question
Any suggestions?
When i first meet a girl..... Do we get on? Do i find her attractive? Is there that sort of spark? If all three are there, then its probable something may become of it, even without knowing her personality inside out.
so be yourself and be friendly but just add little subtle hints like when talking, like making long eye contact, hugging when departing or meeting and to round it off ask if you two could go for a drink some kind.
Therefore you can become good friends but you are showing you'd like to take it further.....
Hope that helps (but doubt it)
:)
Well, that does help a bit, but not when you don't get to meet new girls too often. Thanks for the advice, might take it, if i meet a new gal
Anyone else?
Really, thats how i have met most of my friends... But i do understand how frustrating it is. My best friend i still have a crush on I just should of shown my feelings sooner, now its kinda too late but i'm happy being her friend.
Did you tell her about ur feelings?
I remember giving the "i love u" speech and i was so excited and pumped with adrenaline (i've had a crush on her for 2 years), and watching it from a third person's view.
Well, I did just that, even 'tho it wasn't on a "date". Just used the opportunity when we were alone, and had some time free. I realise it is a mistake, but at that time it felt completely appropriate to me, because that's what i really felt. I had a major crush on her. Unfortunately, it seems that my love life is kinda a one-way street
No and dont think i'll ever will...... i think it would just ruin the relationship altogether if i did tell her..... we did get quite close but i let that time slip by. Were really close as friends and i dont want to ruin it by showing my feelings as i pretty much know she dont feel the same way.
Could be true, I am really trying my best not to think about it all, i just had to get it off my chest back then. It's actually the happiest solution not to think about it at all...