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do you....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
like your family??

Should all 'love' between family members be 'unconditional'??

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love my immediate family (I've never understood how you can automatically love Aunt Whoever who you only see once in a blue moon) but it doesn't mean I like them. My sister's a whining attention seeker, my dad's a moody sulky baby and my mother's a neurotic witch but they've got some endearing qualities. I'll just be damned if I can remember what they are though ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bloody right i do :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love all of my family, even the ones I don't see so often.... doesn't mean I like them all though!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a little different, i lvoe my mum and brother (immediate family) but mym dad is a different matter, he is someone who fests in my house and i very very much dislike him.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I do love my brother and dad, but I think I hate my mum... She's simply a bitch.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    course i do.

    not all of the time though! but that's how it is really.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep, I think you can dislike family members to the point of estrangement, but there's always that intrinsic link there and I don't think it's completely severed by many people at all. Members of my family do things to each other that you wouldn't do to your worst enemy, and that you certainly wouldn't forgive a friend for...but because they have that blood (or marriage, sometimes) link, more often than not all is forgiven, if not forgotten. Thinking on it, it's very strange that because of an accident of birth into a certain family, you put up with all these things and love these people without question. I suppose it's just ingrained from birth, and human nature, to a large extent.

    I also think it's strange that with distant relatives and even relatives you haven't seen in years and years (or perhaps, ever), you still feel a link with them and indeed care about them. Blood ties are still something I know I take seriously, and although I probably know the postman better than I know a lot of my more distant relatives, I'm far closer to them. Does that make sense to anyone but me? :confused:

    Something to think about, anyway :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i love my mommy because she's the best! lol she's like one of my best friends...

    i love my little brother.. we're pretty tight...

    i hate my dad.. but i love him out of duty.. if that can make sense.. like he really really pisses me off because he's psycho and he cheats on my mom and he's psycho and he'll come in my room and if he thinks it's messy he'll take my mattress and throw it out into the hall and take everything i own in my room and throw it out into the hall leaving me with a bigger mess than i started with... but i still love him

    i hate my older brother.... if he died.. i would be happy... but that's probably because he did terrible, unspeakable things to me...

    so no.. i have to say that i don't love everyone in my family...

    i don't think that you can say one type of love is stronger than another.. in a way all love should be unconditional... so a special "family bond" has nothing to do with unconditional love... however there is also a special bond within a family but that doesn't mean you can forgive someone just because they're of your blood....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Love em to bits, even the ones I don't see. Don't get on with them all the time though.

    Fucking hate my step-family though, fuck'em.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by briggi
    Yep, I think you can dislike family members to the point of estrangement, but there's always that intrinsic link there and I don't think it's completely severed by many people at all. Members of my family do things to each other that you wouldn't do to your worst enemy, and that you certainly wouldn't forgive a friend for...but because they have that blood (or marriage, sometimes) link, more often than not all is forgiven, if not forgotten. Thinking on it, it's very strange that because of an accident of birth into a certain family, you put up with all these things and love these people without question. I suppose it's just ingrained from birth, and human nature, to a large extent.

    I also think it's strange that with distant relatives and even relatives you haven't seen in years and years (or perhaps, ever), you still feel a link with them and indeed care about them. Blood ties are still something I know I take seriously, and although I probably know the postman better than I know a lot of my more distant relatives, I'm far closer to them. Does that make sense to anyone but me? :confused:

    Something to think about, anyway :)

    Just because you didn't choose to be related to someone, that doesn't mean you should be obligated to 'love' them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: do you....
    Originally posted by kaptin pikarrrd
    like your family??

    Should all 'love' between family members be 'unconditional'??

    i like some of my family, theres a couple who I dont give a shit about at the moment, but thats another story.

    No you dont have to love all your family, just like you dont have to like them. You were born into the family, does not mean everything is gonna be hunky dorey all the time, you didnt choose your family.

    Respect them and put up with them (respect bit if they deserve it).....that how I see it anyhow.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by David Grohl
    bloody right i do :D

    Short and Simple; awwk Bless :p

    I do love my immediate family. As I am just so grateful to have them. YaY
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i love them all.

    i have serious issues with my brother, but there's still something there. i don't like him, and would be quite happy to never see him again, but i'd be sad if he died, or if horrible things happened to him. that might not make much sense to anyone but me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    makes sense.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kaptin pikarrrd
    Just because you didn't choose to be related to someone, that doesn't mean you should be obligated to 'love' them.

    Well yeah, that was my entire point really...the fact that no, you shouldn't be obligated to love them unconditionally and forgive them (pretty much) anything, but you do. Simply because you happen to share some DNA or a family name.

    I wasn't saying at all that it's right and everyone should turn a blind eye to everything their family does, just that it's a very rare thing for someone to actually disown a family member when they'd have cut short a friendship in the blink of an eye, had the same circumstances arisen or events occurred. It's shades of the saying "blood is thicker than water", which rings true in a lot of situations. Of course it happens that family members are estranged, but it's not all that common.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by kaffrin
    i have serious issues with my brother, but there's still something there. i don't like him, and would be quite happy to never see him again, but i'd be sad if he died, or if horrible things happened to him. that might not make much sense to anyone but me.
    Hm, that does make sense to me, but only because that's how I feel about anyone whom I don't like, no matter whether I'm related to them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has anyone read "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins? That book goes a long way to explaining why people feel bonded to blood relatives.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by Adelle
    Has anyone read "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins? That book goes a long way to explaining why people feel bonded to blood relatives.
    Is that the theory that subconciously all we want is to pass on our genes, and since relatives have many same genes as us we care about them?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Respect them and put up with them (respect bit if they deserve it).....that how I see it anyhow.

    Respect is always earned, family member or not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love my family to bits. My immediate family are all so close - theres 6 of us, and we get on great. There's rarely any arguments, and if there are, they're petty one's that last 5 minutes, not something that's gonna cause a break in the family. I go out with my brother and sisters as much as I do my friends, if not more. It's great that we get on well really, 'cause there's such a big age gap between myself and the other 3. And, my brother (22) and my eldest sister (26) have only just moved out of home! The relationship all of us have with our parents is great too, we all have a laugh and respect each other and that. It's quite rare to find a family who get on so well actually, most people are suprised when we all go out - they tend to compare us to the Waltons. 'Though that may not be a good thing.

    We're close to all the rest of my family aswell; we all live within a 5 mile redius of eachother, and we're forever going out for huge family celebrations at every opportunity. I think it's pretty fab that we can all get on so well, when we're all so different. Depsite how close the whole family is on a whole, though, nothing can compare to the closeness of my immediate family. I wouldn't change any of them for the world.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zalbor
    Is that the theory that subconciously all we want is to pass on our genes, and since relatives have many same genes as us we care about them?

    Bingo! :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love my immediate family and I always will.
    I don't like them though.
    Thats y I had to move out.
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