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Can't understand...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi,

Most of you probably missed the post earlier about my gfs erm 'colourful' past as i deleted in case she read it (dont think she comes to thesite but im not that sure) and i dont think she'd want it shared with the world..anyway..
the problem im having at the moment is that we havent had sex yet, not such a big problem you might say, we've been seeing each other for over a month now (properly going out for nearly 3 weeks now). i wouldnt feel so bad if i didnt know her past - i mean shes slept with quite a lot of people, some of those whom she didnt even know (one-night stands) but yet she doesnt want to sleep with me. i know this probably sounds all teenage-boyish and i dont mean it too but this is getting frustrating, ive talked to her about it and she just says it doesnt feel right.. but how can things not feel right with me who shes been with for quite a while but they feel right with a complete stranger!?

its just upsetting to think that i mean less to her than some random guy shes just met :(

can anyone see any logic or been in a similar situation?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If anything, I would say you mean more to her. If she's had quite a sexually random past, then maybe she's just looking for the security of a proper relationship to establish itself fully, before getting into sex, so that she's sure of your intentions. I mean, I wouldn't be inclined to start a sexual relationship after 3 weeks, I'd prefer to take my time if I really wanted a relationship to work. If I was looking for a short term fling, then sex might come a hell of a lot quicker!

    I would just let her take her time and to get fully comfortable with your relationship. I know that if I'm with someone and hoping for a long relationship, I'd be more tense and worried about having sex with them for the first time, and would want to make it more special, by taking more time! Maybe bringing up her reluctance to have sex is also making her feel pressured. I wouldn't want to be trying to explain why I don't want to move into sex after just 3 weeks of being together- I'd prefer to spend the time going places outside of the bedroom, getting to know each other and not even move into sex fully until I've "explored" that person :naughty:

    So yeah, I think she thinks more of you and that you should be grateful she doesn't want to rush into shagging you like her less successful past partners...? :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    have you ever thought that the reason she doesnt want to sleep wit you straight away is because she actually cares about you more than the other lads shes slept with. you say shes slept with alot of people but do you know what happened after she did? it maybe that they only wanted her for sex and dropped her straight away after and she doesnt want to risk the same thing happening with you. just be patient with her and talk to her. honestly if i were you id be happy to think she likes you so much that she doesnt want to rush the relationship and maybe ruin it by jumping into bed with you.

    does that makes sense?
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