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Essential support for under 25s
Essential support for under 25s
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Comments
As for the initial question: you need to talk with a professional very very quickly. You need to talk through all the options and decide which one is best for you.
Don't let anyone make the decision for you, it is your life, your body and your decision alone.
But tell your mum if you haven't already done so- accidence will happen, and hopefully she will be supportive. But even if she isn't as supportive as you would like at least it is in the open and can be dealt with maturely.
some people have said that she should keep the baby if she wants it. This isnt always the case - some people want children very very desperately but it doesnt mean that they are in a position to give the child everything it needs.
I fell pregnant last year, and it was something me and partner were both very very happy about. We were looking forward to having the baby and sharing all the joy with everyone and providing somebody with the gift of life. It was only after we had made the decision to keep the baby and have a wonderful family together that we sat down and looked at the technicalities.
We could not afford to give that baby the life we believed that it deserved. Although we could have afforded to keep it - we wouldnt have been able to drive it to the zoo at the weekend to see the animals, or buy it a pony or give it piano lessons, or a season ticket to see the football.
Sometimes, despite how ready you may be, and how much you already love that child, and despite the fantastically strong relationship you have with your partner - and/or your family, sometimes you have to think about that baby, putting aside what you, or anyone else for that matter wants.
sit down, and think about what life you want your child to have. do you want it to go on a holiday every year, and have its own bedroom full of brand new toys? or do you want it to struggle through life with you, not seeing you as much as it should because you are working, missing out on holidays and that fancy present its wanted for its birthday all year?
yes we could try and kid ourselves thinking that love and a roof over our heads is enough, but in reality, nobody wants to put their baby into a second hand pushchair.
as RB said, the majority of 15 year old mums dont have the support or knowledge, or funds to be all that they can possibly be for their children. I dont think I was a particularly great mum when I had my daughter the same week i turned 16, but I learnt. You do learn. And eventually, that tiny little baby does love you back. And if you didnt love it at first, which quite often a lot of mums dont due to the trauma that pregnancy can have on some people, you will learn to love your child - it took my mum 6 weeks to love my brother, but that didnt make her a bad mum.
blood - its god damn hard to have a child at any age and in any situation, and for many people, its just as hard to have a termination. I managed to bring a child in to the world at 16 after being raped by her father, but i also had a mum who, with time, is forgiving of 'mistakes' (she doesnt know our circumstances), and an amazing partner who is her daddy, and loves her and me as much as any one could ever ask for, and who provides for us and does everything he can for us, despite his freedom being taken away at such a young age aswell as mine. I also stripped for money and worked 3 jobs at the age of 16, still barely providing a life for my daughter at all, not to mention the life that i wanted for her.
you need to think to yourself, and maybe talk to someone, about what is more important to you. A lot of mums come round after the baby arrives - however thats not to say that yours will.
Would you cope better with a mum that forced you into doing something that is against your beliefs, and that will hurt you for the rest of your life? or would you cope better struggling for money, probably living off the government for a while, leaving education early, maybe not having a partner in your life, raising a child whom you most probably wont be able to give the life that you'd like to, and quite possibly never reach the career goal that you may have for yourself right now?
I mean there are so many questions that you have to ask yourself in this situation, so many things that you need to look at and think about. Too many things that can possibly be suggested here.
Im sorry that I have rambled on for so long, and I really feel for you being in the situation that you are in, a lot of us have been there and it is far far far from nice.
All the luck in the world to you xxx
Just because its not the answer for you does not mean its not the right answer for someone else.
Im not 15 and in all honesty if I was 15 now and pregnant then Id seriously make termination the top of my list. At 15 you have your whole life ahead of you. Come and go as you please, go out with mates, go to the disco or whatever. when a baby comes all that changes, YOU dont take priority baby does.
Everyone thinks bringing a baby up is easy. They feed, sleep, feed, sleep all day...........wrong cos they dont. Its bloody hard work with a baby and Id be the first one to admit I would never have been able to cope if id had a baby at that age.
Think deep and hard to exactly what you do want, dont let people tell you what to do. Just have an open mind and listen and talk through all the options.
im sorry, each to their own and all that but i so disagree with what you've said here, i realise that its your own opinion and everyones is different but there are millions of people in this world that aren't wealthy so does that mean that they shouldnt have children? just because they cant afford to buy it a pony or a season ticket to the football? lots of people live in local authority houses because they cant afford to buy their own home and bring up children wonderfully without all the luxuries you have mentioned. i think finances are an issue of course but not to this extreme. a neighbour of mine had a baby last year, she was 16 when she had him and she's living in a local authority house now and she's doing brilliantly. ok so she's not the richest person but she's doing great and so is her child. in fact he is one of the happiest baby's ive ever come across!
Got to say i agree...we really should leave this alone & talk abotu it in politics & debate if we want to talk further.
Yeah i sent her a pm but havent heard.
The same thing happened to me.
I guess we take it for granted that it will work if nothing goes wrong-but you and my mate were very very very unlucky-like 1 in 85 people. Its very bad luck-I'll tell my mate you mentioned it happened to you so she will know whe isn't the only person ever-thanks for saying.
I dont think anyone was blaming you hun. I hope you're ok x
I know, but sadly the fact that this is a public board means that members of the public post.
I don't mean to be patronising, but you'll always get some bimbo spouting her moronic mouth off with ill-informed insults.
If you need help again don't hesitate to come here, I'm really sorry your first experience here was so bad. Most posters care deeply, and will give good friendly neutral advice, but there's always some clown with a bee in their bonnet who has to spoil everything.