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need a little help here...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, so i dont know where this would go, and i know that in the end its all up to me to decide but i just want some opinions and views and stuff...
i've been thinking of moving back home with my parents. the plus sides being i could get my sleep pattern back on track, i could get a job and some money and living on your own expensises would not be impossible to make. pretty much all of my friends are still back there so my social life would go up extremly and i'd probably be happier with that. the downside being, well, i'd be living with my parents and all the stuff that goes with that such as rules and their constant bitching at me. and some other stuff too.
but then i think about living here and i feel like i need to really. although my roomate, who has also been my best friend for a couple years annoys the fuck out of me 99% of the day I feel like I owe it to her to stay. she has supported my ass for months and months that i've lived here with nothing. she, well is my best friend and i'm sure you all know the feeling of that. also she is shy, just like me. and without me she would be nearly alone (with the exception of a couple people from her job) in a huge city. and i know for a fact that she would hate it. theres been many times shes told me that she would not have been able to even live here if it wasn't for me being here with her. shes always been there for me. when i was in school and she was here, i once had a very bad time, she drove 6 hours just to come and make sure i was ok. when i dropped out of school, she was there for me and was more than excited when i moved in.
i would feel like absolute hell if i left and then she had to leave too. shes wanted to live in chicago for as long as i can remember. and i've wanted to get out of my home town for as long as i can remember. i just feel like going home would help me get my financial and educational life back on track. it would also help me, as i said before, get my sleeping patterns back on and probably help make me happier. but i really can't find it in my heart to just pack up and leave somebody who has done so much and who i owe them so much.
sorry for being so long.
i've been thinking of moving back home with my parents. the plus sides being i could get my sleep pattern back on track, i could get a job and some money and living on your own expensises would not be impossible to make. pretty much all of my friends are still back there so my social life would go up extremly and i'd probably be happier with that. the downside being, well, i'd be living with my parents and all the stuff that goes with that such as rules and their constant bitching at me. and some other stuff too.
but then i think about living here and i feel like i need to really. although my roomate, who has also been my best friend for a couple years annoys the fuck out of me 99% of the day I feel like I owe it to her to stay. she has supported my ass for months and months that i've lived here with nothing. she, well is my best friend and i'm sure you all know the feeling of that. also she is shy, just like me. and without me she would be nearly alone (with the exception of a couple people from her job) in a huge city. and i know for a fact that she would hate it. theres been many times shes told me that she would not have been able to even live here if it wasn't for me being here with her. shes always been there for me. when i was in school and she was here, i once had a very bad time, she drove 6 hours just to come and make sure i was ok. when i dropped out of school, she was there for me and was more than excited when i moved in.
i would feel like absolute hell if i left and then she had to leave too. shes wanted to live in chicago for as long as i can remember. and i've wanted to get out of my home town for as long as i can remember. i just feel like going home would help me get my financial and educational life back on track. it would also help me, as i said before, get my sleeping patterns back on and probably help make me happier. but i really can't find it in my heart to just pack up and leave somebody who has done so much and who i owe them so much.
sorry for being so long.
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Comments
I think you should talk it through with your friend if you can.
and i don't know your situation with this at all, but couldn't you try for a job where you are? again sorry if this is the wrong thing to say. but definitely try talking it through with her, and maybe even your parents or sibling if that would also help.
Good luck with it.
Sounds like your friend is being manipulative, she seems to be keeping you where you don't really want to be with emotional blackmail and bullying. Basically she is making things so hard for you thay you don't seem to be able to do what is right for you and so you are putting her first. There comes a time when you have to put yourself first.
And....it doesn't matter if your parents are disappointed with you so long as you are not disappointed with yourself.
You've been given a whole heap of good advice already, here's my two pence, for what it's worth
If going home means you will take better care of yourself and be taken care of, right now, from the snippets I've picked up from your posts over the past few weeks/ months that may be a wise idea. You need to get on that level footing so that you can then deal with whatever it is that has been making your life so hard lately.
If, on the otherhand going home will simply exacerbate those issues then maybe it's not the best plan, there may even be a plan c where you move out of living with your friend and don't go home...but at the end of the day, as you realise, only you can know what is best for you now.
I do really think you should find a counsellor or decent helpline to talk through all your stuff with, it could help more than you know.
Take care sweetie
Susie