The inevitable truth

River

Recovery is a thin wire pulled tight across my ribs.

Every day I balance on it barefoot.

I’m balancing over the fire that constantly builds,

waiting for it to get out of control.

The heat licks at my ankles.

It knows my name.

It has memorised the shape of my fear.

It wants my progress

and to see the weight of my fall

just so it can smile.

The urge watches.

Patient as gravity.

Is this the time of my fall?

Will my reign be over?

Recovery won’t stick around forever.

Its voice is velvet.

Cruel.

Certain.

I feel it break,

the start of my fall,

like the platform is about to crumble

into a pit of fire.

The ground shifts.

Ash fills my mouth.

I’m holding on to the string around me,

the only chance of keeping afloat.

I hear it ping,

the inevitable truth of it snapping.

Callum

@River It's so creative of you to write this poem, and to share this with us on here! I'm hearing that this is a reflection of how you've been feeling recently, is that a correct assumption I wonder?

River

yeah it is @Callum

Callum

@River Writing your thoughts down in a poem is really useful to help you understand the thoughts and to help us understand them too. I'm hearing that you feel recovery is fragile, and that a relapse is always close by, which you feel drags you down quite a lot. Does that sound true based on what you have shared?

River

yeah @Callum i do a lot of writing. I’ve published 3 books

Callum

@River writing is definitely a good way to express your feelings. It's still crazy to me that you've published 3 books! How does writing make you feel I wonder? And do the books link to your own feelings and help you understand them?

River

writing really helps me, yeah all my books are about how I feel etc @Callum