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Overwhelmed
Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 6,745 Master Poster
Im sorry to keep posting moaning, Im just overwhelmed, I feel like really convinced everyone is looking down on me for my cleaning job, like other staff in the store I work it especially like they are people I wouldn't mind being friends with etc but I'm just scared a lot what people think of me. Like it really upsets me and makes me want to cry, like I don't know for sure and they don't say anything but I just feel convinced because there is definately a stigma. It really affects me, I'm not sure what to do about it, maybe try to build some connections just to show I have a bit of personality, I'd like to talk, become more talkative overall maybe make a few friends, that feels impossible, like it feels who would be friends with the cleaner, thats what it feels like. I feel I'm letting everyone down, I know its an important job but the stigma outweighs that, I feel. I feel like where did I go wrong, its a job I looked down on myself when I was younger like ive been guilty of it myself then I ended up as one. Is tough, its not like Im going to quit or anything like never but its just the stigma is really getting me down, I do know and remind myself its just a start and I want move forward into something else. I know its not forever even though I can feel a bit stuck sometimes, if I did beleive it was forever id feel really stuck and be struggling so much tbh. I just want to get into something else because it does get me down like everyone seems to have better careers and I have this self shame and this terrifying thought of what people think, like there's lawyers and skilled jobs and then theres me. I might just be being too harsh on myself but then I think am I being too harsh.
Im not sure what to do about this , like keep trying to find something else, hope for the best, should be easier than before as I have something, maybe just build some connections, push myself and show im not just a cleaner , I'm someone whos more ambitious and this is just a starting point for me. Talking is hard though. I think if I just keep reminding myself its a starting point its not forever and build connections in the meantime and keep trying ill feel better. Its actually a decent place to work at, I don't want to jinx it but everyone seems nice and I wouldn't mind my next chapter to work in the store, still far but more hours, more money and its actually an intresting store, its just the current role the stigma does drag me down. Im really sorry to keep winding all the time, like I have a job and Im still moaning, Im just overwhelmed, maybe its just its the start over a working week for me again. Thank you all ❤️
Comments
Hey @Redemption, thanks for sharing all of these thoughts with us, no need to apologise, we're here to listen. I'm hearing that you're feeling overwhelmed with the stigma attached to your job and feeling like no one wants to talk to you. That must be so frustrating to feel that way, and you're doing a brilliant job in continuing with your job regardless. Building some connections with others at work sounds like a good step for you to find a way through this, I'm sure they are a lovely team who will support you.
It sounds like you're being harsh on yourself at the moment, where you are is okay, you're on your own path in life. It's so difficult to not compare ourselves to others who are in more "successful" positions. You are doing a brilliant job, and I'm sure your current job will allow you to progress into something you enjoy more.
You mentioned that talking to others is difficult, is there anything that might help you to build the confidence to do that, and reduce the anxiety around it? Maybe, if you're talking to colleagues at work you could initiate a conversation that's work-related, since you have that in common? I'm curious what your thoughts about that might be.
We're always here for you, you don't need to apologise for sharing, it's okay to be overwhelmed and frustrated.
@Callum thanks so much, i think I worry people don't want to talk and I knew maybe they did wanna talk that would help
Like Callum said, you're perfectly okay to letting out your feelings on here, whatever they might look like. Its how we can support you afterall!!
It can be a challenge to battle with stigma and things, especially when it's in our own heads but you are doing so well. Even if it means taking things one day at a time, thats still progress. Like you said, if this job is just a starting point for you, that is more than okay - we aren't tied to a job or career path forever and sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right fit. But for now you've got a job (which is an amazing achievement in itself) and you should be so proud of that.
As for the connections side, it can often be a challenge when placed in a new environment. But even little things can go a long way in forming good relationships with the people you work with, such as simply asking how they are, or if they are having a good day so far - that initial question is what sparks a conversation. And I know it can be hard to get over that first hurdle, but if anyone can do it then it is you.
We are all supporting you and cheering you on - you've got this @Redemption 😊