forcing myself not to sleep (TW - self harm)

its almost 2am and i feel like im forcing myself not to sleep because i deserve to be punished for some reason. if i cant self harm physically then i might as well do it mentally by not sleeping.

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toffuna101

im forcing myself not to sleep again because i simply cant this time, im glad i dont have college tomorrow because otherwise id be screwed.

toffuna101

i feel like pulling an all nighter again but ill try to sleep tonight because i dont want to be miserable and tired in the morning so ill try to sleep. ill update you all if i dont manage to fall asleep later on.

Nemuritai

toffuna101 wrote: »

i feel like pulling an all nighter again but ill try to sleep tonight because i dont want to be miserable and tired in the morning so ill try to sleep. ill update you all if i dont manage to fall asleep later on.

@toffuna101 I'm going to try and sleep in a little bit so I won't be here, but I wish you a super peaceful sleep if you manage to get any, and good dreams

toffuna101

Nemuritai wrote: »

toffuna101 wrote: »

i feel like pulling an all nighter again but ill try to sleep tonight because i dont want to be miserable and tired in the morning so ill try to sleep. ill update you all if i dont manage to fall asleep later on.

@toffuna101 I'm going to try and sleep in a little bit so I won't be here, but I wish you a super peaceful sleep if you manage to get any, and good dreams

thank you

toffuna101

ok i think im pulling an all nighter tonight. or maybe ill just go to bed really late idk.

sinead276

Hopefully you managed to get some rest and are feeling okay this morning

toffuna101

sinead276 wrote: »

Hopefully you managed to get some rest and are feeling okay this morning

thank you, yeah i did manage to get some rest in the end.

toffuna101

might pull an all nighter

Sian321

Hi @toffuna101 ., thank you for this thread. You're doing so well to talk about this. I'm hearing that last night you were experiencing an urge to 'punish' yourself, is that right? And because SHing doesn't feel feasible right now, forcing yourself to stay awake when you were tired felt like another method? I hear you, and really appreciate your trust in sharing this.

How are you feeling this morning? And I wonder if you'd feel comfortable sharing some more about that urge to punish yourself - where do you feel that's coming from at the moment?

We're here with you to listen, and you're so deserving of time and compassion around this.

toffuna101

im ok, im not sure

toffuna101

i successfully pulled an all nighter today. i dont know what to feel about that to be honest.

Verity

Hey @toffuna101 , you must be feeling drained, try to get some rest if you can. Did you manage to get better sleep last night?

toffuna101

Verity wrote: »

Hey @toffuna101 , you must be feeling drained, try to get some rest if you can. Did you manage to get better sleep last night?

yes, i kinda had to as i had college the next morning.