The one time I don’t take CBD oil, i embarrass myself

bignosegirly0

I’ve taken CBD before an interview. And although I feared I did horrible, I remained calm and wasn’t able to cry, even when I wanted to.

But during the afternoon when I didn’t take my oil, I bawled my eyes out in front of my parents and started stressing about “how useless I am” just for them to say that “crying isnt gonna help”.

As soon as I take my oil, I stop crying.

But I still feel a lot of guilt

Sian321

Hey @bignosegirly0 , thank you for your post. You mentioned that you've been taking CBD oil, and whilst its been helpful for staying calm, it's also making it harder to cry and experience the release of emotion that crying gives you. I can imagine that feeling frustrating maybe, with that urge to cry building up and up like a pressure cooker, but the tears won't flow?

You mentioned how your parents had told you that crying won't help anything, and you said you feel guilty too. Is that guilt for crying? What was it like for you when your parents spoke to you that way?

bignosegirly0

@Sian321 at the beginning, I was unable to cry, and weirdly enough, I saw it as a good thing because I cry all the time. But unfortunately despite taking it for my worst shifts, it let me down and I ended up crying at work again.

I feel massive guilt from crying. I’m 21 and I have no emotional regulation skills. CBT doesn’t help. Mindfulness doesn’t work. Everything I’ve tried doesn’t work so I feel guilty that I can’t stop myself from crying.

I understand their frustration, but for me, it’s not easy to simply snap out of it. I wish it was easy for me to stop crying instantly