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Anxiety around achievements
Fathima
Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
Hi all, so I just finished exams in yr12 and do external AS exams meaning we do exams like the real thing just AS level, it also means we get our results on A level day as well. My school sent an email that i was one of the top achievers and my mom shared that email with relatives. Now this is where my anxiety kicked in. My relatives think I just finished yr 13 and my uncle brought some food as celebration and they're celebrating me. And it just gave me so much anxiety and internally panic attack as i explained I'm only in yr12. I know this seems ridiculous to get anxious over. But when my relatives came over, I'm so awkward and socially don't fit in. So the anxiety of having to tell them I'm only in yr12 after they celebrated and loneliness after realising I don't fit in with any relatives or family members and minimal friends that are unavailable, I just feel so lonely and panicking even tho the matter is tiny. To be honest whenever, there's a social situation, I know I won't fit in and flee, avoiding social situations as a whole which makes me feel so lonely and i want to stop avoiding and just be normal.
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Comments
as for the anxiety side of things, i can say you definitely aren't alone in these situations in feeling anxious. social situations where we feel we 'don't fit in' like you say can feel daunting, especially if it is somewhat being centred around yourself and your achievements and any potential misunderstanding around them. i think the main thing with social situations (at least it was this way for me) is that the more we experience them, the easier it gets. I know i've had times where i've just wanted to run and leave when i was in uncomfortable social situations too. even if you just do it bit by bit in like saying to yourself "okay i'm gonna give myself X amount of time with everybody before taking myself out of the situation". this may help build that confidence and ease the anxiety, whilst still being mindful of your personal limits - which are totally okay to have.
hopefully you were still able to have somewhat of a good time.
what is important to remember is that your feelings are completely valid, no matter how big or small the matter is. if it is affecting you in any way then it matters. we are all here for you and you are absolutely not alone
sending hugs
Sinead
I also want to say a massive congrats on your results they sound amazing. AS exams are still a massive achievement, so I am sure you're extended family are still very proud of you despite the bit of confusion.
I think sinead276 offers some great advice - outlining a measurable set of time for socialising may help you feel more in control of the situation whilst also making the social situation seem more manageable.
Maybe you could also try writing down how the interaction made you feel. For example you may notice that talking to your relatives made you feel good because you pushed through the anxiety, maybe it can remind you next time that even if it feels daunting at first you end up enjoying it. And even if you realise that it wasn't enjoyable, you might begin to notice there are particular social situations you don't enjoy as much or make you end up feeling more anxious. Therefore you could choose to limit the time you spend at these ones, and focus more on attending the social situations that make you feel happier?