Man toxic

nem

Hi
I phone called and texted lots a guy
A few months ago
He told me he likes crazy girls and cheated on his ex gf
Can i try for a causal thing with him ????
I want to meet him
He messaged me 2-3 days ago
I was gonna reply



The last toxic vibes guy I met was kind of violent/ didn’t really ask about doing certain things to me but that doesn’t mean that every toxic vibes man that I am attracted to is abusive

Sian321

Hi @nem , how are you today? Thank you for your message.

It sounds like you're wanting to meet with this guy and to have something casual with him, and at the same time, I get the sense you're also feeling a bit concerned that he might be 'toxic' - have I got that right?

You're doing really well to talk about this, and no one has a right to make you feel uncomfortable or to do things without your consent. I wonder if you had ever received any support after that man had treated you that way?

In terms of meeting up with the man you're messaging, what do you feel might support you to feel safe when you're seeing him?

We're here with you to explore this!

nem

I never feel safe with any man ever
That’s just how I am

Sian321

I hear you @nem . It sounds like you might have been through some really, really difficult past experiences, and it is valid that you don't feel safe. No one has a right to ever make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, and you have a right to take things at your own pace when it comes to dating.

I'm getting the sense that it can feel quite conflicting sometimes - because on the one hand, you're wanting to experience more regular sex, but on the other hand, those encounters with men don't always feel very safe for you, or create quite a lot of anxiety. Am I hearing that right?

nem

Yeah
And I like men who are toxic
And arrogant
I find it really alluring and attractive

nem

And I live at home
I don’t feel safe meeting men in their cars or houses really
It’s hard